1. Effective Listening J. S. O’Rourke, University of Notre Dame / USA Chapter Eight: Listening and Feedback

2. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-2 LISTENING There is a substantial difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is merely an involuntary physical response to the environment. Listening, on the other hand is a sophisticated communication skill which can be mastered only with considerable practice. You can learn to be an effective, capable listener by using the techniques we’ll review.

3. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-3 Why Listening Matters: By taking responsibility for successful communication through active and reflective listening, you can become more successful at those activities that depend on communication, including your personal and professional life.

4. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-4 How Well Do You Listen? Rate yourself as a listener. How would your subordinates rate you? How about your peers?

5. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-5 How Well Do You Listen? How would your boss rate you? What would your significant other say? How would your best friend rate you?

6. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-6 Why Listen? The average person spends about 70 percent of each day engaged in some type of communication. Of that time, 45 percent is spent listening, 30 percent speaking, 16 percent reading, and only 9 percent writing.

7. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-7 Why Listen? Listening demonstrates acceptance. Listening promotes problem-solving abilities. Listening can increase a speaker’s receptiveness to the ideas of others.

8. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-8 Why Listen? Listening demonstrates acceptance. Listening increases the self-esteem of the other person. Listening helps you overcome self- consciousness and self-centeredness. Listening can help to prevent head-on emotional collisions.

9. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-9 Ineffective Listening Habits Dr. Ralph Nichols has discovered that many of us employ ineffective listening habits that interfere with learning: Calling the subject uninteresting. Criticizing the speaker’s delivery. Getting over-stimulated. Listening only for the facts.

10. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-10 Ineffective Listening Habits Trying to make an outline of everything we hear. Faking attention to the speaker. Tolerating or creating distractions.

11. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-11 Ineffective Listening Habits Avoiding difficult, expository or technical material. Letting emotion-laden words throw us off the track. Wasting the differential between speech speed and thought speed.

12. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-12 Developing Good Listening Habits Researchers at the Unisys Corporation have identified ways in which you can review your ineffective habits, identify those you should replace, and substitute more effective strategies for listening, learning, and remembering. They’ve identified, in fact, 18 habits you may wish to consider for your own inventory of communication skills.

13. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-13 Developing Good Listening Habits Stop talking. One conversation at a time. Empathize with the person speaking. Ask questions. Don’t interrupt.

14. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-14 Developing Good Listening Habits Show interest. Give your undivided attention. Don’t jump to conclusions. Avoid distractions. Evaluate facts and evidence.

15. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-15 Developing Good Listening Habits Recognize your own biases and prejudices. Don’t argue mentally. React to ideas, not to the speaker. Don’t waste your thought-power advantage. Wishing doesn’t make it so.

16. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-16 Developing Good Listening Habits Listen for what is not said. Listen to how something is said. And, most important: share the responsibility for communication success.

17. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-17 Active Listening Is A Skill foster catharsis. encourages the speaker to be less afraid of negative feelings. promote a relationship of warmth between speaker and listener. promote problem-solving in the speaker. increase the speaker’s receptiveness to the ideas and thoughts of others.

18. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-18 Active Listening Skills Paraphrasing Reflecting meaning Reflecting feelings Reflecting conclusions

19. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-19 How Can I Improve My Listening Habits? Professor James J. Floyd has suggested a system for improving the ways in which we listen to the rest of the world. The first phase involves four steps: Review your listening inventory (good and bad habits). Recognize your undesirable listening habits.

20. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-20 How Can I Improve My Listening Habits? Refuse to tolerate undesirable or ineffective habits. Replace undesirable habits with effective ones.

21. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-21 Improve Your Ability To Pay Attention Resist the temptation to daydream. Reduce environmental distraction. Ignore internal (self-generated) distractions.

22. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-22 Improve Your Ability To Pay Attention Refuse to be distracted by speaker appearance or mannerisms. Repeatedly remind yourself to focus on the message.

23. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-23 Improving The Non-Verbal Dimension of Listening Don’t underestimate the difficulty of interpreting non-verbal messages. Consider context: non-verbal behavior may have different meanings in different contexts. Interpret verbal and non-verbal communication simultaneously. Solicit feedback.

24. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-24 Improving The Verbal Dimension of Listening Increase your verbal experience and expertise. Avoid stereotyping. Study and consider verbal context to interpret meaning. Set aside the biases and emotions (but don’t ignore them).

25. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-25 Improving The Verbal Dimension of Listening Overcome the fear of failure: Don’t refuse to try. Don’t belittle the situation. Don’t lower your goals. Don’t look for easy listening situations.

26. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-26 Improving The Analytic Dimensions of Listening Distinguish between factual and non- factual support material. Apply the various tests for factual support. Evaluate the appropriateness of speakers’ use of non-factual support. Understand the relationship between support and reasoning.

27. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-27 Improving The Analytic Dimensions of Listening Apply the various tests for reasoning. Monitor ethical and unethical uses of propaganda.

28. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-28 Improving Your Ability To Listen Empathically Strive to develop a positive, caring attitude. Apply dialogic principles to your listening in a variety of situations. Reduce or eliminate monologic tendencies in your listening.

29. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-29 Improving Your Ability To Listen Empathically Avoid the tendency to talk rather than listen. Resist the temptation to judge or give advice. Provide feedback which will encourage further communication.

30. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-30 Guidelines for Constructive Feedback Acknowledge the Need for Feedback Give Both Positive and Negative Feedback.

31. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-31 Guidelines for Constructive Feedback Know When to Give Feedback Know How to Give Feedback

32. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-32 Knowing When Not to Give Feedback You don’t know much about the circumstances of the behavior. You don’t care about the person or will not be around long enough to follow up on the aftermath of your feedback. Hit-and-run feedback is not fair.

33. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-33 Knowing When Not to Give Feedback The other person seem low in self- esteem. You are low in self-esteem. The feedback, positive or negative, is about something the person has no power to change.

34. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-34 Knowing When Not to Give Feedback Your purpose is not really improvement, but to put someone on the spot (“gotcha!”), or demonstrate how smart or how much more responsible you are. The time, place, or circumstances are inappropriate (for example, in the presence of a customer).

35. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-35 Knowing How to Give Effective Feedback Be Descriptive. Don’t Use Labels. Don’t Exaggerate. Don’t be Judgmental.

36. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-36 Knowing How to Give Effective Feedback Speak for Yourself. Talk first about Yourself, Not about the Other Person. Phrase the Issue as a Statement, Not as a Question.

37. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-37 Knowing How to Give Effective Feedback Restrict Your Feedback to Things you Know for Certain. Help People Hear and Accept Your Compliments When Giving Positive Feedback.

38. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-38 Know How to Receive Feedback Breathe. Listen Carefully. Acknowledge the Feedback. Acknowledge Valid Points. Take Time Out to Sort Out What you Heard.

39. Copyright ©2013 Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall8-39