2. The true story of the man and the ostrich

3. L’homme et l’autruche The man goes into the bar and sits down, followed by an ostrich. The barman comes over. The man says: I’ll have a beer. The barman looks at the ostrich who says: Same for me, please.

4. L’homme et l’autruche The barman pours the two beers and puts them on the bar. That’ll be £5.20, please. The man puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out the exact amount and gives it to the barman. The next day, the man and the ostrich come back and exactly the same happens.

5. L’homme et l’autruche Every evening the same routine happens. - The usual? asks the barman. - No, thanks. I’ll have a double scotch this time. - And the same for me, adds the ostrich. - That’s £5.80 then. Again, the man puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out the exact amount of money.

6. L’homme et l’autruche At this point the barman just has to know why. -Excuse me for asking, but how do you manage to pull out the exact amount of money every time? - Well, it might sound funny but I was clearing my attic and I found an old lamp. I rubbed it (as one would) and a genie popped out and gave me any two wishes.

7. L’homme et l’autruche - My first was to be able to pay for whatever I wanted to buy simply by putting my hand in my pocket and I would always have the correct amount. -Very clever, smiled the barman. Most people would have asked for a million pounds, or something like that, but you chose a way of being rich for ever.

8. L’homme et l’autruche - Absolutely: whether its for a newspaper or a Citroen Berlingo the exact amount is always in my pocket. - So what’s the story about the ostrich, then? - That’s where I ballsed up as, for my second wish, I asked for a chick with long legs …