1. Chapter 3 Effective Parenting Skills

2. Section 3-1 What Is Parenting?
Parenting is caring for children and helping them develop.
Judgment requirements:
Knowing when to help and when to back off
Avoiding pushing a child to try activities they are not ready for, but not holding back out of fear
Adapting parenting at each stage
Reasonable expectations leads to effective parenting. “Act your age.” --more often than not they are. A parents expectations will influence how they respond to a child

3. Parenting Sytles
Authoritarian Style: Children should obey their parents without question. BrokenWhen rules are broken parent responds quickly and firmly
Democratic style: Children have some input into rules and limits.
Permissive Syle: Children have a wide range of freedom…children set rules
(most parents follow a combination of styles

4. Tasks of Parenting Meeting Children’s Needs
Food, clothing and shelter
Safety and health
Teaching language
Foster intellectual growth
Getting along with others
Love and be loved
Nurturing – encouraging and enriching a child’s life by giving them ample opportunity to explore and imitate.
Deprivation – lack of an enriching environment can lead to a child lagging behind in their development. (For example we learning taking place at specific ages. Missed “windows of opportunity may make the learning process more difficult)
The other part of nurturing is love and support. (Hugs lower stress. )

5. Communicating Positively
Use understandable words, don’t talk down
Be clear – child’s point of view
Be positive and polite
Give praise and love
Limit directions to those that are esseential
Use meaningful conversation (That pictures incredible)

6. Section 3-2 Guiding Children’s Behavior
Guidance: using firmness and understanding to help children learn to control their own behavior – should produce self-discipline
Consistency is key – clearly making rules and applying them the same in all situations ( Trust vs confusion) All caretakers on board
Effective guidance:
Encourage appropriate behavior
Set and enforce limits
Deal with inappropriate behavior in effective ways

7. Encouraging Appropriate Behavior
Set a good example (Be polite and they will follow)
Tell what is expected
Praise appropriate behavior (Positive reinforcement encourages a particular behavior)
Be specific (Great job putting away your toys)
Recognize behavior right away
Recognize even little steps
Tailor encouragement
Offer choices – (Two outfits to choose from, share or take your toys and play in your room)

8. Setting Limits
Should keep child from hurting self, others, or property
Should allow growth, not too restrictive
Fair and appropriate for age
Child benefit vs. adults convenience
Make limits clear
Steps:
Show understanding of child’s desire
Set and explain limit
Acknowledge child’s feelings
Give alternatives

9. Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior
Questions to ask:
Is the expected behavior appropriate, given the child’s development?
Does the child understand that the behavior is wrong?
Was the behavior done knowingly and deliberately or was it beyond child’s control?
Behavior done accidentally or without knowing it was wrong should not be punished
Deliberate behavior may require punishment – negative reinforcement
Natural consequences
Loss of privileges
Giving time-out (one minute for each year of age)

10. Poor Disciplinary Measures
Bribing – teaches child to expect rewards for ending bad behavior (not to be confused with encouraging good behavior)
Making children promise to behave – may lead to lying
Shouting or yelling (fear or tune out)
Shaming or belittling
Threatening to withhold love
(Dealing with conflict – encourage child to use words, speak calmly, or count to ten )

11. Assignment
Create a magazine advertisement that promotes handling conflict in a healthy manner. OR
Create a comic strip that addresses the questions a caregiver should ask before responding to misbehavior. Create specific examples that deal with each question.