1. Conflict Resolution

2. 3 Basic Conflict Styles ➔ Avoidance ➔ Confrontation ➔ Problem - Solving

3. Big Bang Theory Conflict Clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSs94Xif3eM What is the conflict in this scenario? What style of resolution do you think was used? Was the conflict solved?

4. Avoidance ➔ steering clear of the situation ◆ you may go along with others just bc you are scared of conflict ◆ you may let others treat you bad and not speak up

5. Avoidance ➔ sometimes avoidance is smart ◆ like not going to a party with drugs However, if you always avoid conflict you may have anger and resentment built up and start shutting people out.

6. Confrontation ➔ A tough, aggressive, in-your-face approach to conflict ◆ You see conflict as a battle and you want to win!

7. Confrontation ➔ Sometimes confrontation is necessary ◆ if someone physically attacks you Making a habit of confrontation will get you into a lot of fights/ trouble. You may miss out on opportunities bc no one really knows your true feelings.

8. Problem- Solving ➔ Working to find solutions to conflict ◆ You are not threatened by conflict and it does not scare you-- it is a natural part of life.

9. Problem- Solving ➔ Working to find solutions to conflict ◆ You are not threatened by conflict and it does not scare you-- it is a natural part of life.

10. Problem- Solving ➔ You probably get along with many different people ➔ you don’t waste your energy fighting and you don’t have feelings of resentment ➔ you know yourself and enjoy getting to know others

11. https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=qqciK89AQuc&au thuser=0 Link to Bad Conflict Resolution By tables…. re-enact the scene using problem solving strategies and communication to resolve the conflict.

12. 4 Step Model for Problem Solving 1. Find a good time and place to talk 1. Identify the problem/issue 1. Brainstorm for solutions 1. Choose a solution and agree it

13. Step #1 Find a place to talk ➔ set ground rules ◆ no interrupting ◆ no name calling ◆ no put downs ◆ tell the truth

14. Step #2 Identify the Problem ◆ let each person say what happened ◆ focus on the problem ◆ active listening and “I” ◆ avoid blockers

15. Step #3 Brainstorm for Solutions ◆ let each person express solutions ◆ listen without judging ◆ be willing to compromise

16. Step #4 Choose a solution ◆ Consider all options ◆ evaluate pros and cons ◆ decide on one everyone can live with

17. “I” Statements Why are these better than “you” ? ➔ It shows you are taking responsibility ➔ It doesn’t point blame

18. Developing “I” Statement 1. Tell the person “I have a problem” 2. Make a non threatening description of the problem 3. Tell the person how you feel 4. Let reality set in by asking: a. if I continue will this make things better or worse? b. do you want the relationship better or worse?

19. De-escalators ➔ Stay cool and calm ➔ Give the other person space ➔ Listen to the other person ➔ Set your limits with non- blaming statements ➔ lighten things up ➔ Admit your part- saying “sorry” ◆ doesn’t mean you're wrong or they are right