1. INTIMACY Attraction Need (two theories) ◦ Schutz’s  Affection  Inclusion  Control

2. SELF ACTUALIZATION Personal growth and fulfillment SELF ACTUALIZATION Personal growth and fulfillment AESTHETIC NEEDS Beauty,balance, form COGNITIVE NEEDS Knowledge,meaning,self awareness COGNITIVE NEEDS Knowledge,meaning,self awareness ESTEEM NEEDS Achievement,status,responsibility,reputation ESTEEM NEEDS Achievement,status,responsibility,reputation BELONGINESS/LOVE NEEDS Family,affection,relationships, work group BELONGINESS/LOVE NEEDS Family,affection,relationships, work group SAFETY NEEDS Protection,security,law,etc. SAFETY NEEDS Protection,security,law,etc. BIOLOGICAL AND PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS Food,clothing,shelter BIOLOGICAL AND PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS Food,clothing,shelter

3. RELATIONSHIP DEVELOP. [coming together] (Knapp) Initiating Experimenting Intensifying Integrating* Bonding* *Maintenance stages Page 134(model)

4. RELATIONSHIP DEVELOP. [coming apart] Differentiating* Circumscribing* Stagnating Avoiding Terminating *Maintenance stages

5. RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION (Duck theory) Intrapsychic Phase ◦ “should I stay or should I go?” Dyadic Phase ◦ “It takes two” Social Phase ◦ Advice Grave-dressing ◦ “whose at fault?”

6. RELATIONSHIP DIALECTICS Dialectics-contradictory impulses that pull us in different directions (slide) Strategies for using dialectics ◦ Selecting ◦ Neutralizing ◦ Segmenting ◦ Reframing

7. APPLYING DIALECTICS Family ◦ Dialogue ◦ Don’t be afraid to disclose Friendships ◦ Trust ◦ Acquaintance vs friend ◦ Romance? College ◦ Different cultures Community Service ◦ Applying skills in “real life” settings

8. Gibb categories (Video #2-CD) DefensiveSupportive Evaluation Control Manipulation Indifference Superiority Certainty Description Problem Orientation Assertiveness Empathy Equality Provisionalism

9. CONFLICT Expressed struggle Types of conflict ◦ Pseudo-misunderstandings ◦ Destructive-negative spiral ◦ Constructive-determining how to solve problem

10. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE [Competing] Win-lose scenario Me oriented “Victory for one”

11. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE [accommodating] Nonassertive Necessary if you have less power Maintain harmony

12. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE [Avoiding] Pretend like it does not exist “Stonewalling” Not always a “bad” thing ◦ Trivial arguements

13. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE [compromising] Lose-Lose scenario Ends conflict sooner Not happy with decision

14. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE [COLLABORATION] Confrontation Integration Smoothing Is the most positive for resolving conflicts