2. You’ve seen them around the web, these zombie essays. They’re not hard to recognize: syntax slack and drooling, clauses empty of everything, full of clichés and contractions, and a terrible hunger for human brains.

3. It is time to fight back!

4. Slang and Contractions Academic essays are a formal mode of expression. This means that you use English which is much more formal than the language you would use in everyday conversation or, heaven forbid, e-mail or text. You should never use slang phrases or contractions in an academic essay. As well as contractions and slang, please note that it is not appropriate to use numerals in an essay: talk about the nineteenth century, not the 19th century.

5. Do not use contractions Note that the full form of "can't" is one word: "cannot," not "can not."

6. What do you call words that suck the life out of an Essay? Good Bad A lot Big Some Get Got

7. RIP “To Be” Verbs Is Are Was Be Been

8. Sentence construction Sentence construction is, apparently, a dying art. I see more mangled, fragmented, incomplete, crippled sentences than I do almost any other error. Please bear in mind the following basic rules for non-mutilated sentences: Every sentence needs a verb. If it lacks a verb, it is not a sentence. "Verb" here means MAIN VERB, which cannot be in a tense or form which renders it a dependent clause rather than a main clause.

9. The main verb in a sentence CANNOT be in the continuous form, i.e. it cannot have the -ing ending. The present continuous is a dependent tense, i.e. it must be attached to another clause with a proper, non -ing verb. A sub-clause is not a sentence. A phrase which begins with or includes "although", "since", "because", "which", "who", etc, cannot stand alone: it must be attached to a second phrase which completes the thought (and, usually, which contains the main verb).

10. Avoid stage directions. Do not commence a letter by telling the recipient what you plan to do in the letter or begin an essay by telling the reader what the paper will discuss. "I am writing to you to ask you to...." "This paper is going to talk about how...." This will kill your essay

12. SENTENCES, RUN-ONS, AND FRAGMENTS A sentence has a subject and a verb and makes a complete thought. Another name for a sentence is an independent clause. Here are a few examples of complete sentences. Tom laughed. Because she exercises regularly, she is in good condition. It has been raining all day. Be quiet. (The subject "You" is understood.) He's quiet, and he's very polite. (compound sentence)

13. Fragments A fragment is only a piece of a complete thought that has been punctuated like a sentence. Fragments can be phrases or dependent clauses or any incomplete word group. Study the following examples: Ann walked all alone. To the store. (prepositional phrase fragment) Walking to the store. She saw a car accident. (present participial phrase) Because she exercises regularly. She is in good condition. (dependent/adverb clause fragment)

14. There are several ways to correct fragments. To correct a fragment, connect the fragment to a compete sentence. "Ann walked all alone. To the store." Can be corrected like this: "Ann walked all alone to the store." "Walking to the store. She saw a car accident." Can be corrected like this: "Walking to the store, she saw a car accident." To correct a fragment, remove words to make the fragment a complete sentence. "Because she exercises regularly. She is in excellent condition." Can be corrected like this: "She exercises regularly. She is in excellent condition." To correct a fragment, add words to make the fragment a complete sentence. "Because she exercises regularly. She is in excellent condition." Can be corrected like this: "She feels great because she exercises regularly. She is in excellent condition."

15. A run-on occurs when two sentences are run together without the proper punctuation and/or connecting One type of run-on, the fused sentence, occurs when two sentences are written together without any punctuation at all. Another type, the comma splice, occurs when a comma is used between two sentences without any connecting word (such as "and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet"). Study these examples: Joe was happy about the raise he felt like celebrating. (fused sentence) Joe was happy about the raise, he felt like celebrating. (comma splice) There are several ways to correct the run-ons above. These are the most common ways: A run-on may be corrected by putting a period between the sentences. Joe was happy about the raise. He felt like celebrating. A run-on may be corrected by connecting two related sentences with a comma followed by a coordinating conjunction: and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet.

16. Joe was happy about the raise, so he felt like celebrating. A run-on may be corrected by connecting two related sentences with a semicolon only. Joe was happy about the raise; he felt like celebrating. A run-on may be corrected by connecting two related sentences with a semicolon and a transition word or phrase, such as following: however, therefore, thus, then, as a result, consequently, nevertheless, also, on the other hand, for instance, in contrast, etc. Joe was happy about the raise; consequently, he felt like celebrating. A run-on may be corrected by adding a dependent clause signal word to create a complex sentence. Common signal words include the following: because, if, although, when, who, which, etc. Because Joe was happy about the raise, he felt like celebrating. Joe, who was happy about the raise, felt like celebrating

17. As a random additional point while talking about sentence structure: please watch your tenses! The general convention when undertaking English analysis is to use present tense, and you should make sure that you stick to one tense throughout your essay! Moving from past to present within a few sentences, or sometimes within one sentence, is both inelegant and incorrect.

18. Never use a long word where a short one will do. Long words don’t make you sound intelligent unless used skillfully. In the wrong situation they’ll have the opposite effect, making you sound pretentious and arrogant. They’re also less likely to be understood and more awkward to read. When Hemingway was criticized by Faulkner for his limited word choice he replied: “Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? He thinks I don’t know the ten-dollar words. I know them all right. But there are older and simpler and better words, and those are the ones I use.”

19. You, Me, I and We Try to avoid the first and second person. Formal writing often tries to be objective, and the pronouns "I" and "you" tend to imply subjectivity. Phrases such as "I think that" can be deleted from a sentence when it is obvious that this is the author’s opinion. Using the pronoun "I" is almost always acceptable in personal writing, and the pronoun "you" is almost always acceptable in letters and how-to’s. In the most formal writing, the pronoun “I” is replaced by the pronoun “we”; this is known as the royal we or the editorial we. Formal writing generally avoids the pronoun “you” when it refers to people in general.

20. A cliché, like the monster that will just not die, is an idea or expression that has been so overused that it has lost its strength of emotional impact. Horror Movie Clichés The forgotten one saves the day - Just when you though there was no hope, the one who was knocked out in the end of act 2 resurfaces with adrenalin and extreme accurate timing. It might seem dead but it’s not! -Monsters believe you’re stupid enough to walk next to them when their down. Bad guy explaining his evil plan - This a truly classic case of egocentric useless dialog that lets the hero win time. Stay here, I’ll come back OR Let’s divide up.

21. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print. This sounds easy, but in practice is incredibly difficult. Phrases such as toe the line, stand shoulder to shoulder with, play into the hands of, an axe to grind, Achilles’ heel, raining cats and dogs… all come to mind quickly and feel comforting and melodic. For this exact reason they must be avoided. Common phrases have become so comfortable that they create no emotional response. Take the time to invent fresh, powerful images. Make sure your essay is not like a bad horror movie that, like the zombie itself, really needs to be put out of its misery.

23. Do not start a sentence with a coordinating conjunction. In the written language, do not use coordinating conjunctions such as "and,” "but," “so,” or “or” to start a sentence. Coordinating conjunctions are meant to join words, phrases, and clauses; a coordinating conjunction is left dangling without a role to play when it comes at the beginning of a sentence. Consider attaching the sentence that starts with a coordinating conjunction to the previous sentence, substituting the period for a comma to produce a compound sentence.

24. You can also use transitional adverbs such as “additionally” (or “moreover”), “nevertheless” (or “however”), “therefore” (or “thus”), and “alternatively” (or “instead” or “otherwise”). “Though” can be used at the end of a sentence: “This product here is much cheaper. It will last only half as long, though.” Starting a sentence with “also” is useful in casual writing but should be avoided in formal English unless the word "also" is modifying a verb (usually in the imperative mood or an inverted sentence structure): "Also read Chapters Two and Three;" A paragraph that starts many sentences with coordinating conjunctions may also lack smooth transitions.

25. Nevertheless, prevention is always easier than cure, especially when the cure involves a hand grenade. You can keep your essay from turning zombie by starting with a clear idea of exactly what you want to say. It’s tempting to just start writing, but this approach can leave your pages vulnerable to zombification, because it’s easier to sound like you’re making sense than to actually make sense. Outlines can serve as an effective vaccine against living death.

26. 1. Although Mary has been my best friend. 2. No one I know watches that television show, I can't believe it. 3. Her husband loves to cook, however, he does not like to clean the kitchen afterwards. 4. Tim started his new job last Wednesday, and he really likes the boss. 5. I have a hard time understanding her lectures, when I talk to her one- on-one, I understand her fine. 6. Mary signed up because she thought the training would be interesting and help her on the job. 7. Meet me after class, I want to talk with you about the upcoming test. 8. The one who looks like a military officer but acts like a spoiled brat. 9. Although she has studied very hard, she is still worried about the midterm exam. 10. One of the best ways to improve your writing. Is to read and analyze what you read.

28. http://www.quia.com/pop/37752.html?AP_ra nd=1648300432 http://www.quia.com/pop/37752.html?AP_ra nd=1648300432 http://www.iconlogic.com/pdf/abrams.pdf

29. Nevertheless, prevention is always easier than cure, especially when the cure involves a hand grenade. You can keep copy from turning zombie by starting with a clear idea of exactly what you want to say. It’s tempting to just start writing, but this approach can leave your pages vulnerable to zombification, because it’s easier to sound like you’re making sense than to actually make sense. Outlines can serve as an effective vaccine against living death.