1. Life's "Perfect Storm" is brewing: Marriage, full- time job, having children, restoring historic home, divorce. Tone down your perfectionistic tendencies - they won't serve you well as life outside of Oxford begins in earnest. You won't regret making time for your family but don't forget what else you can do in your life. Don't rush out to get a full time career straight away - take some time out (although this will make you feel very nervous!). Once you sign up to a regular salary and pension scheme it is hard (impossible?!) to give it up. If you are happy &settled with someone and want a family - what are you waiting for? Dispel the doubts and get on with it! There will be a regret to be managed when it hasn't happened for you & the time has passed. Confident balance…

2. Have regular social things arranged with family and friends and arrange the next meet-up there and then when you see people - it's too easy to let social things slip and not happen often enough. Find a way to allow yourself to be a present mother AND to use your brain in a way that makes you feel fulfilled as an individual (This can be further education, a career, or voluntary roles for example), but DON'T only be a mother or only stimulate your brain. It's so important to enjoy being with your children, and supporting them, and it's so important to retain your own identity separate from them. Follow your impulse, stay true to yourself, be confident. Confident balance…

3. Keep taking one small brave step - and remember there isn't just one right path. Always be true to yourself and your values and make enough time to focus on what is important at any given point in your life. Considered action is always better than frozen inaction. You can't please everyone so please yourself (while always trying to be kind and polite in dealings with others). Not everyone will like you; don't worry about it (well, try not to...). Measure success on your own terms - it isn't always a tall ladder; it can be a wide spiral. Smile a lot - the wrinkles are more attractive than frown lines. Confident balance…

4. Feel free to disagree. Have belief in yourself. Get counselling about that immediately! Your friends are invaluable and worth every minute you can find for them. Mostly you will regret the things you didn't say. You don't always have to say yes! Do things because you want to do them - not just because other people want or expect you to. Confident balance…

5. Be brave! Be ambitious, confident, seek some competent careers advice and find a mentor who will help you reach your potential. Only try to be friends with people who genuinely like you. Confident balance…

6. Whatever happens, keep trucking and work on having a positive, open, charming and can-do attitude to things - this is what will get you furthest! - much further than any academic achievement. You don't know what's next or even what you want - that's ok, no one does. Work hard, hold on to what is important and take every opportunity you can to celebrate. Life is in your control. You are woman...hear you roar! Confident balance…

7. Don't worry. The guys don't. You've got nothing to prove. Don't worry about money and status - follow your passions and know that the Universe will bail you out if you need it! It's not all about amassing money. Time is a much more precious commodity than money, as long as you have enough of the latter to enjoy life. Take pleasure in small things, such as views, beautiful gardens, children, life in its full tapestry. There's no need to feel pressurised to have a high-powered job just because you have an Oxford degree. Do what makes you happy! Don’t worry, be happy…

8. Don't worry and don't hurry - you will work it out. Don't beat yourself up about not getting things right just try and learn from it. Make time to do some things you enjoy. Try not to worry so much. Don’t worry, be happy…

9. Chill. It'll all work out in the end. Don't be upset that Take That split up without you getting to see them in concert. They will reform and you will get to see them (in the 5th row). Also, buy a flat when you have the opportunity. "Don't worry - it's ok (and exciting) that you don't know what's coming up next!" Don’t worry, be happy…

10. Forgive yourself every day - you can never get everything right! Just relax and stop worrying- things will work out! Be more shameless about what you CAN and CAN'T do. Enjoy ! Don’t worry, be happy…

11. Even if I might think I'd like to say "When you meet your future husband turn around and head for the hills" on reflection I'd probably say "Life is going to be a marvellous adventure, you will continue to grow and learn every year and your children will be the greatest source of unadulterated joy that you can't even imagine yet! Walk on!!' Enjoy every minute of what you have because life goes quick and can change a lot! Have fun! Realise that nothing is for ever. Make time for your family, friends, partner. You're OK. It will all work out. Don't take it all too seriously. Don’t worry, be happy…

12. Listen to your instincts. Don't compromise on your happiness. Just choose a job which you enjoy. If you like your career enough then you will more likely to find a way to make it work once other commitments (family, caring for relatives) start to become your priority. You will struggle to feel successful, no matter what you achieve in consulting. Make peace with the fact that your feeling of success will come from somewhere else. Don't drive yourself crazy trying to find it where it isn't going to be. Just enjoy the ride. Travel, meet people and learn a great deal. Everything will fall into place when it's meant to. Don’t worry, be happy…

13. Take more holidays! Pay off as much of your mortgage as you can as soon as you can. Don't be so camera-shy in your 20s. (All young people are beautiful.) Enjoy it. Maybe just do the thing you actually want to do. Don’t worry, be happy…

14. Think about skills and personal attributes rather a particular role or ambition. Have no fixed goal/ambition that constitutes "having made it" in my subject area. Don't be afraid to acknowledge when you no longer feel satisfied by your original ambitions - respond to how you feel now. Be brave, take risks and push yourself as far outside your comfort zone as possible. Nothing is simple or neat, and it doesn't matter. Work with what you have, not what you wish you had. Progress is much more interesting than perfection. The latter is in the eye of the beholder, and there are too many of those to please them all. Oh, and take exercise. You'll find you like it, and it will mean you don't have to waste time worrying about being fat. Goals & work…

15. Think about where you want your life to be 10 years from now and what your priorities might be. Grit your teeth and do the PhD early on, don't leave it and end up finishing on the kitchen table, with two children under four and surrounded by moving boxes! Do not just follow the well established path and do something different - there is another world out there from what you are used to see just in front of you, take the time and meet people. Goals & work…

16. In work be ambitious and get higher faster, as experience won't necessarily get you there in the end. And in life generally, grab all opportunities available to you, they won't be there forever. Try and work out what you love doing, and then try and do it. Don't worry about earning money as soon as possible! Choose to do the thing you find really interesting, even if it is risky, low paid, or no paid and means scraping by, and once you are successful you'll make enough money and have the job you dreamed of. Try and think outside the milkround options. Goals & work…

17. Steer towards your dreams however way the wind blows. Take your time. Don't rush into a long term job commitment - it's much harder to get time off to do your own thing once you've started a full time job... Spend more time exploring career paths and don't be afraid to switch once you've started down one. Although, just because you love something as a hobby or interest, it doesn't mean you'll still love it as a job. Employers will take everything you give them - be sure to leave time for yourself and your other interests - sometimes work really should just wait as there is more to life - don't wait to have a baby to find that out! Goals & work…

18. Think of the future, how are the decisions you make today going to fit with your long term plans. The culture of the place you work will be the key determinant of whether you enjoy working there - find out about it before you accept a job. Don't narrow your field down too early, make the most of being able to study at the hospitals, be sure to travel as much as you can before having kids, stay in Oxford as long as you can, and live in as many interesting places as you can before you settle down ;) Goals & work…