1. “Test as you teach” redux: Rhetorical grammar and vocabulary assessment for academic writing Margi Wald College Writing Programs University of California Berkeley mwald@berkeley.edu http://writing.berkeley.edu/staff/margi-wald

2. Benefits rubrics can provide offer objective and consistent evaluation necessitate the clarification of teacher criteria and show students ways in which their work will be evaluated and what is expected of them... teachers can establish accountability to and credibility with their students by providing them with clear, accessible, and understandable assessment materials, which also provide necessary transparency. provide feedback to teachers regarding instructional effectiveness and supply benchmarks upon which to measure and document progress (Crusan, 2015)

3. EAP rubrics should 1.reflect current trends in writing research, our values about teaching writing, and the genre conventions of authentic academic writing 2.use criteria and descriptors specific to assignments and transparent to students and instructors. (Wilson, 2006; Plakans & Gebril, 2015)

4. Issue Handbooks focus on the what, but very infrequently on the why, when, or where. Same with my department’s and my own rubrics.

6. Self Analysis Checklist tesol16_mwald_checklist.doc

7. Issue expanded –focus on grammatical forms with little attention to their functions –“fail to provide specific, concrete, genre/register-sensitive criteria that will enable the teacher to render a more objective and valid judgment” [I know it when I see it.] (Fang & Wang, 2011) –fail to provide specific, concrete, genre/register-sensitive criteria that will enable the writer to focus on the language used to make rhetorical moves.

8. More benefits rubrics can provide (learned by starting this project…) Help synthesize course mini-lessons Help instructors make decisions regarding teaching points and materials creation.

9. Rubric Type Primary Trait Pedagogically- or practice-driven Dimensions and criteria (Plakans & Gebril, 2015, pp. 45-46)

10. Techniques Weave language use items throughout rubrics/checklists Recycle language from class activities Connect to course handouts Create new lessons to reinforce rubric items

12. Coherence Paragraph: Sentences build one to the next. The progression of information makes sense and follows the known-new sequence. Sample Paragraph Language Power, Tutorial 5 – Known – New Contract Cohesive devices are used to create coherence (ExOp) Lexical chains via word forms Classifier nounsClassifier nouns (p. 215) Lexical chains via reference words + classifier nouns Connector + Reference word + Classifier nounConnector + Reference word + Classifier noun (p. 185)

13. Close Analysis The particular wording or specifics of each piece of evidence are discussed. The writer shows how the evidence should be interpreted by the audience, how that evidence supports the main claim of the section of the paper and/or how the evidence might create an effect on the intended audience. The writer uses close analysis language to “echo” or link to the language / techniques analyzed in the evidence. Close Reading Tips Model 1 Model 2 Some Language to Use

14. (The author) depict(s) ____ as X This/The depiction of _____ as X By depicting ____ as X, (the author) (The author) describe(s) ____ as X The/This description of ____ as X By describing ____ as X, (the author) … X shows X reveal(s) X (further) suggest(s) X creates X indicate(s) X symbolize(s) X illustrate(s) X represent(s) This/the illustration/symbol This/the representation of X X creates By creating this image/picture in our minds, the author… Note: often combined “Rodriguez's depiction of his father's English as ‘hesitant’ and ‘high-pitched’ suggests....” “Her description of American money as ‘serious’ and ‘real’ depict that…” “By using these rhetorical questions, Anzaldúa creates an ethical appeal:…” (The author) provides this illustration/symbol/description/adjective/depiction to … (The author) uses X to suggest … likens ___ to X compares ___ to X By comparing ___ to X X is associated with X implies/ these words imply The author) repeats X | The/this use of repetition | By repeating X Given her comparison, description, etc, we can see that….

15. Summary Checklist file://localhost/Users/margiwald/Desktop/tesol16 files/tesol16_summarycheck.docfile://localhost/Users/margiwald/Desktop/tesol16 files/tesol16_summarycheck.doc

16. In-Progress: Sentence Length

17. Sentence Length Example: The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to find some native American art. In Anchorage stores they found some excellent examples of soapstone carvings. But they couldn't find a dealer selling any of the woven wall hangings they wanted. They were very disappointed when they left Anchorage empty-handed. Revision: The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to find some native American art, such as soapstone carvings and wall hangings. Anchorage stores had many soapstone items available. Still, they were disappointed to learn that wall hangings, which they had especially wanted, were difficult to find. Sadly, they left empty-handed.

18. Sentence Length Example: Many really good blues guitarists have all had the last name King. They have been named Freddie King and Albert King and B.B. King. The name King must make a bluesman a really good bluesman. The bluesmen named King have all been very talented and good guitar players. The claim that a name can make a guitarist good may not be that far-fetched. Revision: What makes a good bluesman? Maybe, just maybe, it's all in a stately name. B.B. King. Freddie King. Albert King. It's no coincidence that they're the royalty of their genre. When their fingers dance like court jesters, their guitars gleam like scepters, and their voices bellow like regal trumpets, they seem almost like nobility. Hearing their music is like walking into the throne room. They really are kings.

19. Sentence Length “In general, longer sentences are needed to express complex ideas or describe multi-step events.” “Short sentences pack a wallop when used correctly. They're best used to begin and end paragraphs.” So, we often see a number of longer sentences being introduced by a short sentence or “punctuating” a series of long sentences. (from Porter, 2014)Porter, 2014

20. School physicians were also removed from elementary schools during these years. // In 1970, when a substantial numbers of white children still attended New York City's schools, 400 doctors had been present to address the health needs of the children.// By 1993, the number of doctors been cut to 23, most of them part-time--a cutback that affected most acutely children in the city's poorest neighborhoods where medical provision was perennially substandard and health problems faced by children most extreme. // During the 1990s, for example, the rate of pediatric asthma in the South Bronx, already one of the highest in the nation, was exacerbated when the city chose to build a medical waste incinerator in their neighborhood after a plan to build it on the East Side of Manhattan was abandoned in the face of protest from the parents of that area. // Hospitalization rates from these asthmatic children in the Bronx were as much as 20 times more frequent than for children in the city's affluent communities. //Teachers spoke of children who came into classes with chronic wheezing and, at any moment of the day, might undergo more serious attacks, but in the schools I visited, there were no doctors to attend to them. (Kozol, 2006, p. 44)

21. Gross discrepancies in teacher salaries between the city and its affluent white suburbs have remained persistent too. // In 1997, the median salary for teachers in Alliyah’s neighborhood was $43,000, as compared to $74,000 in suburban Rye, $77,000 in Manhasset, and $81,000 in the town of Scarsdale, which is only about 11 miles from Alliyah’s school. // Five years later, in 2002, salary scales for New York City’s teachers rose to levels that approximated those within the lower-spending districts in the suburbs, but salary scales do not reflect the actual salaries that teachers typically receive, which are dependent upon years of service and advanced degrees. // Salaries for first-year teachers in the city now were higher than they’d been four years before, but the differences in median pay between the city and its upper- middle-income suburbs had remained extreme. // The overall figure for New York City in 2002–2003 was $53,000, while it had climbed to $87,000 in Manhassett and exceeded $95,000 in Scarsdale. (Kozol, 2006, p. 46)

22. Sentence Length + Data/Evidence Add to rubric checklist for problem-solution essay: In paragraphs in which data are being synthesized, does the writer –Introduce the paragraph with a short, often “simple” sentence (one clause)? –Use longer sentences to present the data with comparisons or commentary? –If not, why not?

23. References to service programs, mentoring and tutoring and such, provide at least a hint of what fair-minded people often wish that they could do on a more comprehensive basis if the means for doing it did not seem so politically complex or threaten to exact too high a toll on their immediate self-interest. Most honest grown-ups, after all, do not really get a lot of solace out of saying that “life isn’t fair,” especially if they can see the ways they benefit from the unfairness they deplore. Most also understand that a considerably higher level of taxation for our public schools, if equitably allocated on the basis of real need, would make it possible for far more children from poor neighborhoods to enter the admissions pool for the distinguished colleges and universities their own children attend. Some of their children might encounter stiffer competition. Children like Pineapple and Alliyah might get in instead. (Kozol, 2006, p. 58)

24. Add to rubric checklist for problem-solution essay: Does the writer Use longer sentences to outline the issues and explain “abstract” points? Use shorter sentences to highlight what you mean, to give a concrete example, to drive a point home (emphasis)? If not, why not? Making your point

25. In-Progress: Conclusions

26. The structural focus on inequality adopted by historians during the 1980s reveals many similar disparities of wealth, political priorities, and social investment in the rise of a rural prison economy. Rural prison communities obtained advantages by manipulating their location and government funding while inner city neighborhoods suffered from poverty, criminal justice policy, and rural political strategies. This suggests that criminal justice policy must be re- examined as a socio-economic, political, and racial contest mediated and constituted by space.

27. BIO.G2.07.1: Biofuels and Biodiversity It is clear that conventional biofuel systems often complicate the problems they intend to solve and pose a significant threat to global biodiversity. With the demand for renewable fuels increasing, a different approach must be taken. The low-input high- diversity concept presented by Tilman and others is a pioneering step in the right direction, but ultimately falls short of a workable solution. Clearly LIHD is not a dead-end proposition, and more research must be done to determine the ecological, technical, economic, and political feasibility of LIHD biofuel systems….

28. ECO.G2.05.1: Outsourcing Clerical Jobs This analysis raises more questions than it answers. These questions fall in three overlapping categories: wage inequality, space and the labor market, and organizational practices diffusion.

29. Fresh Fruit, Broken Bodies End of Preface: The phenomenon of migration is especially important to understand in the contemporary world given negative ways they are perceived and treated.

30. Language of the synthesis move Add to my conclusions rubric checklist: Check verbs Use nominalizations to synthesize points Use parallel structures to pack ideas into sentences while keeping clarity with links to class handouts

31. Be “progressive” Can be overwhelming – build rubrics together, slowly, adding details across drafts

32. References Crusan, D. (2015). Dance, ten; looks, three: Why rubrics matter. Assessing Writing 26: 1-4. Fang Z., & Wang, Z. (2011). Beyond rubrics: Using functional language analysis to evaluate student writing. Australian Journal of Language and Literacy. 34(2), 147-165. Frodesen, J. & Wald, M. (2016). Exploring options in academic writing: Effective vocabulary and grammar use. Ann Arbor: Michigan ELT. Michigan Corpus of Upper-level Student Papers. (2009). Ann Arbor, MI: The Regents of the University of Michigan. Porter, E.S. (2104) Sentence rhythm: How to use sentence variety for better writing. Available at http://www.wordsbyevanporter.com/how-to-use-varied-sentence-lengths-for-better-writing/ Wilson, M. (2006). Rethinking rubrics in writing assessment. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann.

33. Handouts and slides available at http://writing.berkeley.edu/staff/margi-wald