1. Character Analysis of Scrooge
Revision of paragraphs for Staves 1 and 2
Target areas for revision:
Both quotes must prove your topic sentence
Quotes must be integrated and cited properly
Quotes must be explained “on both sides”
Personal pronouns should be removed

2. #1. Both quotes must prove your topic sentence
Stubborn and hateful
Mule
“Another year of paying bills, getting older, but not an hour richer” (5).
“ ‘It’s me... Poor boy. He lived inside his head… alone… I wish… ah! It’s too late” (18).
Does this quote really prove Scrooge is stubborn or hateful?

3. #2. Quotes must be properly integrated and cited
Another place Scrooge’s isolation is shown is the first time we see Scrooge show emotion “your lip is trembling. And what is that upon your cheek?” (17).
Awkward use of the “slice and dice” method.

4. #2. Quotes must be properly integrated and cited
In the stave scrooge wouldn’t give any money to the poor at all and saying “if they rather die than they had better do it” showing that he doesn’t care about others.
Sloppy convention errors distract from message
Failure to cite the page number of the source makes writing unreliable

5. #3. Quotes must be explained on both sides
When the two men walked in Scrooge rejected to talk to them was saying very mean things. “If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population. He also says “Take your leave of my offices, sirs, while I am still smiling” (9). This shows that Scrooge doesn’t care about the charity and what its involved in.
The explanation of these quotes is not in-depth nor detailed enough

6. #4. Personal pronouns should be removed
The symbol I chose to describe Scrooge in stave two of “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens is ice that is thawing. I chose this because Scrooge barely changed… That is how I think thawing ice represents thawing ice.
Remove all phrases that use personal pronouns and weaken your argument:
I think I believe
In my opinion I feel
I choose I know

7. Exemplars
Student Models

8. Student Sample #1:
In Stave 2 of A Christmas Carol Scrooge’s identity undergoes a slight change. Instead of being a mean, old man, he is starting to be regretful of his past actions. A tattoo represents regret because it lasts forever, but it may not represent one later in life. When Scrooge’s fiancé accused him of being “taken by a golden one,” she meant that Scrooge chose money over her (22). He realized how cruel and selfish he had become when he relived this memory. After seeing these events from his youth, he told the Ghost of Christmas Past: “there was a boy singing a Christmas carol outside my door and I should have given him something: that’s all” (18). Clearly, Scrooge is now feeling guilt and regret for his past actions, but he is unable to erase these memories, so his only course of action is to change his present and future personality.
Juliette Ryan

9. Student Sample #2:
Ebenezer Scrooge is the main character in Charles Dickens’ novel A Christmas Carol. In Stave 1, he is viewed as a heartless, old man who does not care about people’s feelings or their opinions. Not only is Ebenezer mean-spirited, but he also erupts with anger on those around him. Because of that, he can be compared to a volcano since anyone who greets Scrooge will end up ‘melting’ away after he explodes. For example, at one point in the chapter a young caroler comes up to Scrooge’s doorstep and right away Scrooge “seized the ruler with such energy of action, that the singer fled in terror…” (12). In other words, instead of enjoying the songs of the caroler, Scrooge chased him away in a violent manner. Scrooge is so cold-hearted that “no warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him” (3). Ebenezer also does not care about anyone’s opinion but his own. When his nephew wished him a Merry Christmas, Ebenezer replied with “Bah!... Humbug!” (5) just because he didn’t like the holiday. At this point in the novel, Scrooge seems like a static character. It doesn’t seem he will change since he reacts to everyone with the same self-centered and cruel responses.
Emily Reimert

10. Student Sample #3:
In Stave 2, Scrooge is very emotional; he is similar to a drama mask because he has different emotions at different times, ranging from happiness to sadness to just plain anger. Dickens shows he has emotions of happiness when the Ghost of Past and Scrooge travel to his boyhood town: “ ‘Good heaven!’ said Scrooge, clasping his hands together, as he looked about him. ‘I was bred in this place. I was a boy here!’” (32). Dickens hints that he is happy by him clasping his hands together. People often do this when they are pleased. Also, the author uses exclamation points, showing that Scrooge is excited. The author also has the Ghost comment on this scene, saying aloud, “ ‘Your lip is trembling…and what is that upon your cheek?’ Scrooge muttered, with an unusual catching in his voice that it was a pimple…” (32). When read in context, it is clear Scrooge is sad. A trembling lip is often a sign of sadness or crying. When Scrooge muttered with a catching in his voice that it was a pimple, it gave two clues. If one is sad, there is often a catch in one’s voice, especially when one is about to cry. Also, the thing on his cheek must have been a tear, since it is obvious he is crying. Scrooge progresses from very sad to angry later in the stave when he witnesses his fiancé dumping him. He yells to the Ghost, “ ‘Spirit!... Remove me from this place… Remove me!... Leave me!... Take me back! Haunt me no more!’” (49). He is obviously angry when he is yelling at him, and this fury is displayed in his short, choppy sentences punctuated with great emotion. It may be that this emotional vulnerability is Scrooge’s first step in transforming his behavior.
Brandon Switzer

11. Student Sample #4:
Throughout Stave 1 of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, Ebenezer Scrooge is suggested to be extremely close-minded in his miserable lifestyle. This behavior resembles a closed door, for it shuts out anyone who is not wanted by those who are on the inside, therefore shutting out change and new ideas. During the novel, there are several occasions in which Scrooge pushes people away, leaving himself in the dark. And though he has the option to open up his “door,” he chooses not to. Scrooge acts like a closed door when he “[takes] his melancholy dinner in his usual melancholy tavern” (13). The word “usual” implies that having a dreary dinner is a daily routine for Scrooge, which shows that he does not put any effort into modifying his habits. Additionally, Scrooge denies his nephew both a Merry Christmas greeting and the invitation to dinner. His nephew begs, “ ‘Dine with us tomorrow’” (7). Similar to how a shut door protects the person inside, by neglecting his nephew, Scrooge is perhaps protecting his solitude, not wanting a change in his life. During stave one, Scrooge is undeniably close-minded, acting like a closed door while he continuously shuts out people. However, his close-mindedness will slowly evolve into a more welcoming attitude as the story progresses.
Caleigh Fink

12. Phrases to avoid: An example of this is when…
Scrooge is _____ (adjective), just like ____ (symbol).

13. Student example

14. Student example

15. Student example

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