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Showing, Not Telling The Magic in Good Writing Shows Instead of Tells Uses Sense Words Uses Active Verbs By and
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What do we want to learn: Why it is important to show, not tell What are poor examples of show, not tell. What are good examples of show, not tell. What should be included in a “show, not tell” How to “show, not tell” actions and feelings in their writing What we want to be able to do: Write descriptive paragraphs from a short, non-descriptive sentence by slowing down the action through Imagery using sensory details Comparisons using metaphors and similes Action verbs
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Watch the movieWatch the movie and take the online quiz. Then, answer this question. Write one sentence on why it’s important to show, not tell? It is important to show not tell because you need to get your reader to picture what you are writing about. http://www.brainpop.com/ english/writing/shownottel l/index.weml
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In the movie, Tim and Moby said that these show not tell: ACTION VERBS IMAGERY (sensory details: hear, see, smell, touch, taste), COMPARISONS (simile - uses like or as) COMPARISONS (metaphor - describing something as though it is actually something else) When my dog eats, he is a pig. My sister cried like a baby. My stomach is grumbling. The bells chimed four times, a high-pitched fairy sound. Matching Game! “Drag down” the phrase that describes how each sentence shows not tells. Put the phrase in back of the matching sentence. action verbs imagery (sensory details) comparisons (simile) comparisons (metaphor)
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http://www.writedesignonline.com/assignments/shownottell.html http://www.writedesignonline.com/assignments/shownottell.html Read the 2 telling and 2 showing sentences at the top of the page the 4 telling and 4 showing sentences at the bottom of the page. Copy and paste one good example of show, not tell : Color code an example of IMAGERY, COMPARISONS, or ACTION VERBS The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window- panes The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening, Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains, Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys, Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap, And seeing that it was a soft October night, Curled once about the house, and fell asleep. Copy and paste one poor example of show, not tell : It was foggy.
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http://www.writedesignonline.com/assignments/shownottell.html http://www.writedesignonline.com/assignments/shownottell.html Read the 2 telling and 2 showing sentences at the top of the page the 4 telling and 4 showing sentences at the bottom of the page. Copy and paste one good example of show, not tell : Color code an example of IMAGERY, COMPARISONS, or ACTION VERBS Giggles and screams filled the arena. The soft curls were now damp with perspiration and the anticipation of the event. They held tight to each other in a mock effort to contain themselves. Arms flailed upward, and voices echoed in varying tones. The moment was here. Copy and paste one poor example of show, not tell : The girls were excited.
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http://www.gigglepotz.com/hpchamber.htm http://www.gigglepotz.com/hpchamber.htm Read the first two paragraphs, noting the descriptions. Choose, then copy and paste, 4 words or phrases that are good examples of show, not tell: The steam pouring vivid hair Raindrops the size of bullets Hagrid's pumpkins swelled to the size of garden sheds
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http://www.kidsreads.com/harrypotter/book1.html#excerpt http://www.kidsreads.com/harrypotter/book1.html#excerpt Look for the description of Dudley and Harry. Choose, then copy and paste, 4 words or phrases that are good examples of show, not tell:
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PIZZA: Poor Example The pizza was good. It was hot. I liked it.
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PIZZA: Good Example Steam rising up off the melted cheese made my mouth water. The first bite, my teeth sinking into the cheese through the tomato sauce and into the moist crust, made me chew and swallow rapidly. Even the cheese and tomato sauce, sticking to my fingertips, begged to be licked. http://www.writedesignonline.com/assignments/shownottell.html
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Look at the following pages of examples. Choose one topic from the list: Write 3 telling sentences on the poor example slide. Now, let’s PLAN then WRITE 3 showing sentences on the good example slide.
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Let’s do one together! First we’ll write three “Tell” sentences. Then, we’ll write three “Show” sentences.
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ICE CREAM: Poor example
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ICE CREAM: Good exampleGood example
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Now do one with your partner. Each of you will write on your own computer, but discuss with your partner and write the same information. Choose one topic from the list. Write 3 telling sentences on the poor example slide. Now, PLAN then WRITE 3 showing sentences on the good example slide.
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REMEMBER 1. Choose one of the topics: pet nervous swimming 2. Write 3 telling sentences on the poor example slide. 3. Now, PLAN then WRITE 3 showing sentences on the good example slide.
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PET: Poor example
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PET: Good example
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NERVOUS: Poor example
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NERVOUS: Good example
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HOW YOU FEEL WHEN SWIMMING: Poor example
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HOW YOU FEEL WHEN SWIMMING: Good example
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After choosing, your example: Now, open Inspiration * Paste the picture of the Good Example in the corner. * Make the topic your main idea. * Drag over 5 senses images: eye, nose, ear, etc. * With your partner, web as many ideas of sense reactions and feelings for this topic. * Have your descriptions be vivid and detailed. * Think of your five senses. * What can you hear? See? Smell? Taste? Feel? Use these details!
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Now you’re ready to write five wonderful sentences that show your topic, including senses and feelings. Put this right on the slide next to the picture!right on the slide
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YOUR OWN CHOICE: Poor example
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YOUR OWN CHOICE: Good example
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Good job learning more about Show, Not Tell! Save by going to File, Save Print your page that has your GOOD PARAGRAPH ON IT –Make sure your names are on the page! We’ll be posting your paragraphs on the Internet so others can learn from you!
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