1. THE EVOLUTION OF DATING

2. DATING-THE PURPOSE  Dating has three purposes: 1. Socialization-Dating helps individuals build social skills. In dating, individuals must find ways to communicate with one another, to find common interests, to balance one another's personalities, etc. 2. Recreation-Dating is usually meant to be fun. It offers the opportunity to enjoy the company of others. 3. Mate Selection-Eventually, dating will become about finding a life partner— someone whose personality, character traits, values, and so forth are those which fit with yours. The goal is to find someone you can marry.

3. 1700s  Dating was called “courting.”  It’s entire purpose was to find a mate for marriage.  Less about love, more like a business deal.  Parents picked out the man and arranged the date.  Almost always chaperoned  Same-sex relationships were not discussed publically and were not explicitly made an option 1800s  Still a courtship; however, more romance was involved.  Parental influence still a large part of choosing dating partners.  Dates must be chaperoned.

4. PAUSE TO THINK Do you think arranged dating is ok? What would you do if you could only date a man/woman your parents picked out for you?

5. Early 1900s:  No longer “courtship,” but “dating.”  Individuals began to be allowed to pick their own partners, rather than parents picking them.  Men had to initiate the date.  Love became a much bigger component when looking for a spouse, as well as compatibility.

6. Mid 1950s:  The idea of “going steady” developed, meaning exclusively dating  boyfriend and girlfriend.  Men asked the women out.  Men expected to carry out all major activities of the date: walk up to the door to get her, open and close all doors (car, restaurants, etc.), order for the girl, pay for everything, and so forth.  Women submissive in order to help the man feel as though he is fulfilling his manly duties.  Anti-Miscegenation Laws: Interracial/“mixed” dating, marriage, and sexual relations illegal in 30 states

7. What do these advertisements tell you about the expectations of a woman in the 1950s?

8. PAUSE TO THINK 1. Men, what do you think a woman’s job is in a relationship? What is the man’s job? 2. Women, what do you think a man’s job is in a relationship? What is the woman’s job?

9. 1960s  Women gained more autonomy—could ask men out on dates (i.e. sadie hawkins dances).  In 1967, the Loving v. Virginia Supreme Court decision made Anti-Miscegenation Laws unconstitutional.  In 1960, the first oral contraceptive was introduced—”The pill”.  Many thought this sparked a “Sexual Revolution”—premarital sex. However, a 1953 Kinsey report on female sexual behavior — found that half of all women had premarital sex. Instead, it made premarital sex more widely acceptable. 1970s  By the 1970s, men stopped having to ask fathers for permission to take their daughters out.  Couples began living together before marriage. However, marriage was still perceived as the next step.  “Dating” still meant exclusively being with one another.  Same-sex couples began to become public in the 1970s.

10. 1960s1970s

11. 1980s:  Dating became far more casual.  More casual interactions such as group dates and co- ed parties.  Marriage no longer seen as the main purpose for dating.  Proms and formals became very popular.

12. 1990s:  Having a title— ”boyfriend/girlfriend”—and commitment no longer necessary for sexual relationship.  Marriage not considered at all as a primary goal of dating.  Internet dating develops.  Same sex couples became much more open about their relationship by this time.

13. PAUSE TO THINK What would be other reasons for dating, if not to eventually marry?

14. 2000s:  Today, dating goes by several different names and consists of several different stages  Talking  Hooking up  Boo status  Bae  Hubby/wifey status  Friends with benefits  Boyfriend/girlfriend

15. ACTIVITY Split up into groups of 3-5. Explain what it means to do and/or be each of the following terms:  Talk  Hook up  Hubby/wifey status  Friends with benefits  Dating

16. ACTIVITY  If we had to interview couples on their dating rules growing up, what would we ask them?  In your same groups, come up with five questions you would ask an older couple about their dating rules when they first began dating.

17. QUESTIONS

18. HOMEWORK  Using the questions we came up with together as a class, interview two couples—one older and one younger—on their dating rules.  Record their responses using the “Dating Rules: Interview” activity sheet.  Bring back to class TOMORROW!