1. Live, Laugh, Learn But, let’s stop the violence

2. The war 1994 How bout it.Lets laugh to keep from crying

3. What is Bullying What is Bullying? When someone repeatedly hurts or threatens another person on purpose. This can come in many forms: in person, in writing, on-line, cell phones, anywhere….

4. EXAMPLES Name-calling, taunting, teasing and put-downs Saying or writing inappropriate things about a person; deliberately excluding a person from activities or conversation Threatening a person with bodily harm Hitting, kicking, tripping, shoving or otherwise inappropriately touching a person Taking or damaging a person’s belongings Making a person do things he or she does not want to do Can also occur through electronic means via Web postings, e-mails, chat rooms and text messaging

5. Where did it all go WRONG

6. Boys& Girls bully differently: Girls (“OMG”) And I have a DAUGHTER usually engage in RA (Relational Aggression: behavior that is intended to harm someone by damaging or manipulating relationships with others) girls bond more intimately with other girls girls are socialized to be “nice” trauma = isolation for girls when girls are troubled they are sad girls talk on the playground

7. Boys Play on the playground form social bonds through group activities socialized to be “tough” smothering = trauma for boys boys are troubled they usually get angry

8. Bystander A bystander is a person who sees unacceptable behavior— including bullying—but does nothing to stop it. – passively accept bullying by watching and doing nothing – contribute to the problem because they provide the audience a bully craves; silent acceptance allows bullies to continue their hurtful behavior

9. Is any of this normal? Conflict is a part of every child’s life As children learn about cooperation and social interaction, conflict naturally occurs Common response to frustration is rejection Aggression and hurtful remarks are part of conflict at all ages; they don’t necessarily mean a problem exists Gossiping vs. venting

10. 4 Things to share No one wants to confront a bully. Bullies want to look good in front of peers. Some children will build the bully up to get in his inner circle and be safe from attacks. They engage in verbal hostility and physical violence

12. Leaving a little to SOON Sirdeaner Walker, the mother of an 11-year-old boy who committed suicide in April after antigay bullying, spoke about school safety to two House subcommittees today. Walker, who says her son complained that classmates threatened him, called him gay, and made fun of how he dressed, has been fiercely critical of the school's refusal to address the bullying. www.cbsnews.com/.../main6363045.shtml

13. Video Discussion In groups of 3-4, consider the statistics that you read in the previous activity and the video clip that you just saw: – What stood out to you the most? – Was there anything that surprised or shocked you? – Will your knowledge of this issue change the way that you carry out your job as a youth development professional? How?

14. Statistics 6 out of 10 American teens witness bullying at least once a day. For every gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender student who reported being harassed, 4 straight students said they were harassed for being perceived as gay or lesbian. Over the course of a year, nearly ¼ of students across grades reported that they had been harassed or bullied on school property because of their race, ethnicity, gender, religion, sexual orientation or disability. An estimated 160,000 children miss school every day out of fear of attack or intimidation by other students. 1 out of every 10 students who drops out of school does so because of repeated bullying. Victims of bullying are more likely to suffer physical problems such as common colds and coughs, sore throats, poor appetite and night waking. Those who are bullied are five times more likely to be depressed and far more likely to be suicidal. The effects of bullying can be long-lasting. By age 23, children who were bullied in middle school were more depressed and had lower self-esteem than their peers who had not been bullied. Harassment and bullying have been linked to 75% of school-shooting incidents, including the fatal shootings at Columbine High School near Littleton, Colorado, and Santana High School in Santee, California. Studies show that most bullies have confidence and high self-esteem.

15. They called me GAY Jaheem Herrera, the 11-year-old Georgia boy who committed suicide after months of harassment and anti-gay bullying. As well-wishers attended a vigil to remember the fifth grader, new reports suggest the little boy was repeatedly called "gay" hours before taking his life. Jaheem's sister, Yeiralis Herrera, says she witnessed cruelty toward her brother "more than a dozen times" including his last day. That same day, Alice Brown, mother of Jaheem’s 10-year-old classmate A.J. Brown, tells the Atlanta Journal- Constitution: "Jaheem asked if anyone would miss him if he wasn’t here. A.J. told him ‘He was his friend and he would miss him.’ " Alice Brown and Masika Bermudez, the boy's mother, says they both "they repeatedly complained about the harassment" to the DeKalb County Schools but "nothing" was done. Jaheem Herrera's suicide comes two weeks after the suicide of Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, an 11-year-old Massachusetts boy who also suffered taunts that he was gay, feminine and "talked funny."

16. Signs a child may be being bullied: Sudden decrease in grades Does not want to go to school Is fearful he or she will be hurt Complains of stomach aches, headaches, etc. Has other new behavior as a result of bullying (acting out)

17. What If my child is being bullied: CBS Sunday morning (Jan. 9 th ): “When it begins affecting how the student feels or how they are learning or not learning it is a problem.” It is important that parents approach the situation in a calm manner. And that parents keep records of facts in the situation. It is helpful if parents and school staff work together to resolute the issue. Parents can use the following steps to resolve the issue. Signs a child may be being bullied: Sudden decrease in grades Does not want to go to school Is fearful he or she will be hurt Complains of stomach aches, headaches, etc. Has other new behavior as a result of bullying (acting out)

18. Strategies to help: Thank your child for telling you. Tell your child that the bullying is not their fault. Talk with your child about the specifics of the situation and ask: Who is doing the bullying? What happened? Was it verbal? Physical? Cyber bullying? What days and times was the student bullied? Where did the bullying take place?

19. Strategies to help: Find out how your child responded to the bullying and if other children or adults might have observed the bullying. Does your child know the names of these people? Keep a written record of this information. Practice possible ways for your child to respond to bullying/ develop strategies. Empower your child! Tell (teacher, principal or counselor) of these events and give the recorded information.

20. PLEASE STAND CLOSE YOUR EYES- NOW OPEN THEM JUMP ONE TIME- NOW STAND STILL TOUCH THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU AND NOW BRING THEM TO YOUR SIDE RAISE ONE HAND OVER YOUR CHEST NOW TURN AROUND 360 DEGREES

22. References Support/References: Pacer.org/bullying Stopbullyingnow.org Salvaging Sisterhood – Taylor, Julia V. (Wake County Public Schools) CBS.com