1. Domestic Violence

2. What is it? Is a ____________ __________of abusive behavior used by one person in a relationship to gain and/or maintain ___________ and control over another. This includes dating, partner, spouse and elder abuse. As well as abuse between present or former household member.

3. Domestic Violence usually follows a pattern… 1.__________ 1.__________ – Tension builds 2.__________ 2.__________ – abuse erupts 3.__________ 3.__________ – period of calm, denial or apology But then the cycle ________…

5. Types of abuse… _________ & Verbal Isolation _________ Threats & Intimidation __________

6. Emotional & Verbal Survivors recount stories of put-downs, public _____________, ________- _______, mind games and manipulation by their partners. ___________ abuse leaves the deepest scars…

7. Isolation EXTEMELY _____________ Insist on ____ seeing friends and family High ____________ Loss of job

8. Sexual Any non-consensual sexual act or behavior ________ Sex Unwanted __________ Sexual degradation Violence targeted at the ________ area

9. Threats and Intimidation If you leave I will… ________ you! (threat of violence) I will _________ myself! (threat of suicide) You will never see your ______ again! (threat of taking away the children)

10. Physical Pinching __________ Grabbing __________ Scratching __________ Using weapons Throwing objects at the victim Restraint Hair Pulling Strangulation __________ Shoving Slapping __________ Punching __________

11. Economical Taking car keys or __________ away Forbidding the victim from having a __________ Controlling all of the finances, leaving the victim with ____ access to resources

12. CHARACTERISTICS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

13. CHARACTERISTICS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

14. You might be in an abusive relationship if he/she… Is __________ or __________ toward you. Tries to control you by being very __________ or demanding. Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships. Is violent and / or loses his or her temper quickly. Pressures you __________, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with. __________ drugs or alcohol. Claims you are responsible for his or her __________ state. Blames __________ when he or she mistreats you.

15. Has a history of bad __________. Your family and friends have __________ you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being. You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do. Makes " __________ " that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, weather privately or around family and friends. Your partner grew up __________ an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.

16. Your partner "rages" when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control. Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain. You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones. You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.

17. Healthy Relationship __________ Independence Open communication Sharing desires and feelings Allows personal change and growth Based on _________ Encourage self-care Accepts limitations/flaws Partners retain sense of self Enhances personal qualities __________ Risks vulnerability __________

18. Unhealthy Relationship __________ Overly dependent __________ Deceitfulness Promotes stagnancy Based on need Perfectionist __________ Uses denial and avoidance Partners lose identity Brings out the "worst" __________ Fears intimacy

20. Domestic Violence & Children They exhibit " _____________________ " symptoms even as infants. They may exhibit "general aggressiveness" or violence to siblings or the "victim parent" in ways that emulate the abusive parent. They often suffer from ________ self-esteem. They often suffer poor _________. They may have poor impulse control. They often experience academic problems. They, along with their mothers, comprise nearly ____% of the homeless population in the U.S.

21. They are more often abducted by the abuser parent than other children. They may have a fear and distrust of close relationships. They experience confusion over correct behavior. They experience psychosomatic complaints, i.e., stomachaches, headaches, stuttering, anxiety, fear, etc. They experience “_______ terrors" (waking up screaming in the night). They may wet the bed. They are likely to __________ learned behaviors.

22. They blame themselves for the violence or the inability to stop it and protect the victim parent. They often experience PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). They are more likely to be victim of child physical and sexual abuse, most often by the abuser parent and less often by the victim. They are four times as likely to be arrested eventually. They are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs. They are more likely to engage in antisocial behavior. They are more likely to commit crime against other persons and sexual assaults.