1. Revising a Draft YOUR BHS ERC

2. Format  Verify the format is what the teacher requested  Format makes the writing universal and easier to understand  The most popular formats at BHS are APA (American Psychological Association) and MLA (Modern Language Association)

3. MLA Format The Heading  Your name  Your instructor's name  The course  The due date  One inch margins  Use double-spaced text  Looks like this

4. MLA Format The Header  Create a header in the upper right-hand corner that includes your last name, followed by a space with a page number  Looks like this Hint: Easy header manipulation? (Insert -> Page Number -> Top of Page-> 3 rd choice from top-> type your last name and a space-> double click on lower portion of page)

5. MLA Format Works Cited  Separate page that lists in alphabetical order by author all published information that was referred to anywhere in the text of the paper  Looks like this

6. APA Format Title Page  Running Head  Title  Your Name  Institution  Looks like this  Smells like paper

7. APA Format Abstract  Short paragraph of 150 words or less that summarizes your research, including your thesis  Researchers read to decide whether or not they are interested in looking at the rest of the paper  Looks like this

8. APA Format The Body  Has clean paragraph breaks with headings that represent changes in discussion  Looks like this

9. APA Format References  Lists in alphabetical order by author all published information that was referred to anywhere in the text of the paper.  Looks like this

10. Clarity  Do you have that friend that finishes telling a 5 minute story (that causes you to arrive late to class) but NEVER gets to a point?  As you know, your thesis is your point – an arguable claim that is the foundation of your essay  Ensure your thesis is clear and its position in the essay is deliberate  What’s the most important idea you’d like the reader to take away from your essay?

11. Tone Deaf  Tone is the attitude conveyed by the author’s word choice.  Often, when we text a friend, we have the ability to share tone by emoticons like smiley faces or acronyms like JK or LOL. When we do not clarify the tone, we run the risk of being misunderstood.  Stay consistent in your tone  Hover around a tone that is academic and informative but beware of being too casual or too pretentious  When critiquing an author, avoiding being negative or condescending - but be firm in your stance and confident in your analysis

12. Topic Sentences  On the paragraph revision level, the most important sentence in a paragraph is the topic sentence, the controlling idea for a paragraph  A paragraph is a complete thought – a separate idea from the other ideas (paragraphs) offered to the reader to educate them  Imagine driving a car. Your engine is your thesis, your tires are your topic sentences, and your destination is your reader understanding your point  The thesis cannot thrust forward without the topic sentences moving it along  Topic sentences also create unity between paragraphs

13. Topic Sentence Check  Does each topic sentence preview the main idea of the paragraph?  Does each topic sentence feed into the thesis?  Would the essay’s overall flow be disrupted if the topic sentence was eliminated?  Is the topic sentence neither too broad nor too specific?

14. Claims and Evidence  Just as topic sentences should feed into a thesis, evidence within each paragraph should feed into each topic sentence  Consider this scenario. You can win a scholarship for five thousand dollars if you attend a contest at lunch that that demands you to know state capitals, and you’re allowed to bring a teacher with you for help. Would you ask your science teacher or your government teacher?  You want help that will serve your purpose. Your evidence needs to serve your thesis.

15. Claims and Evidence Check  Does your evidence only move your argument or analysis forward and not just added for “looks”?  Do you show how you understand what the author’s intentions (you do not take quotations out of context)?  Would your argument be compromised if you removed any of the evidence?

16. Clincher Statements  Strong paragraphs have clear topic sentences, convincing evidence, and…? Clincher statements!  A clincher statement reiterates the main idea and finalizes the thought offered in the paragraph

17. Clincher Statement Check  Is your clincher sentence in the form of a final thought?  Does your clincher sentence answer the question “so what?”  Does the clincher promote further thinking on the topic?

18. Academic Voice  At the word level revision step, look that you have maintained academic voice in your writing  Academic voice is the common language of academics and professionals  When you use academic voice, your reader sees that you are a serious student with respect for language and the power of words

19. Academically Sound  Common Errors Concerning Academic Voice:  Diction (abbreviations and symbols)  Clichés (hungry as a horse, sleeping like a baby, dumb as a doornail)  Hyperbole (very, awesome, totally)  Slang (kids, cops, stuff)  Redundant terms (end up, finish up, hanging out)  Contractions (can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t)

20. Slang  Slang, the enemy of academic voice, shows little effort on the part of the writer, and compromises credibility  Slang is the language we use around people with whom we are comfortable but is not encouraged in academia  Slang is important enough to examine closely

21. Slam Slang  Enemy of academic voice  Shows little effort from the writer to carefully choose words and construct phrases  Compromises credibility

22. “And now, the end is near…”  Does your conclusion answer the question “so what?” It must. Does your conclusion not only provide a logical ending to your essay, but reestablish your point in writing the essay? Is it fresh and crisp?  You are beyond the phase of the tell-what-you’re- going-to-say-then say-it-then-tell-what-you-said style of essay writing  This essay is yours  It shows how you analyze  It shows how you synthesize  It shows how you THINK

23. Okay. The end is here.  Thanks for coming! Ask if you have questions! We’re here to help!