1. A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Successful Solutions Professional Development LLC Chapter 3 Positive Guidance

2. Caregivers should respond to behaviors positively and respectfully. This module will discuss a variety of factors which may influence a child’s behavior and provide examples of appropriate ways that adults can respond to misbehavior. A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Chapter Topics

3. Limits and rules need to be age- appropriate and allow children more responsibility and freedom as they grow and mature. Limits are necessary to help children effectively work in groups. They promote safety, respect, and responsibility. In child care programs, effective limits serve as a kind of shorthand to state the goals of the program. Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

4. Limit or rule setting gives children safe boundaries in which to work and play. Limits and rules help prevent children from hurting themselves or others, and help prevent destruction of property. Limits should focus on actions and behaviors that reflect goals. As a child care professional, your input in suggesting limits for the center is important. Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

5. Children feel safer and are able to experience a greater sense of independence and competency when they know what the limits are. Staff should discuss with children the reasons for the rules. They should involve the children in the process of deciding what rules are necessary for the group. Children will be more cooperative when they realize staff do not make up rules and change them whenever they want to. Rules can be as simple as: We keep ourselves safe We keep each other safe We keep our things safe (Adams & Baronberg, 2005 ) Limits should be few in number, firm yet flexible, and maintained with consistency. Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

6. Children follow limits best when the limits are enforced. Children need to know what is expected of them. However, children will often test these well-established limits. You should feel comfortable with this testing process. Enforcing limits also requires that limits be flexible at times. Flexible limits allow you to adapt to the needs of an individual or situation. For instance, your limit states that children are expected to wear smocks in the art area. If an art activity is not messy, you might be flexible about this limit and allow the children to work without a smock. Your limits must be flexible enough to handle such situations. Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

7. The way you react to children who break limits affects children’s feelings of security. Children feel secure knowing the limits protect them. However, when one child violates a limit, another child’s security may be threatened. For instance, a child may express his or her anger in a violent way, such as hitting. He or she has lost some security. You need to reassure and pay attention to this child. In fact, giving attention to the injured child shows that hitting is not a good way to gain attention. That child is violating a limit. You must tell the child that hitting is not allowed. The child who was hit is also affected. Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

8. There is a direct link between your words and how the children behave. Positive guidance focuses on the positive or desired behavior. Staff should tell children what TO do instead of what NOT to do. Words like stop, no, and don’t are good for an emergency, but do not give children the necessary information they need to make good choices. Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

9. Say: “Please walk.” Examples of stating the positive are: Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Rather than: “Stop.” Rather than: “Don’t play with your food.” Say: “You need to eat your food to keep your body healthy.” Rather than: “Don’t play with that over there.” Say: “Play dough stays on the table.” Rather than: “Be quiet.” Say: “We take turns talking at circle time.”

10. In addition to having rules, you teach children what to do and not do by your own example. One of the simplest ways to encourage positive behavior is to model it. Behave the way you want the children to behave. For example, if you want them to respect others, model respect yourself. Say "please" and "thank you" when you talk to them. Be calm, patient, and considerate. Model the Behavior that You Want from the Children Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

11. Children remember how adults act and will imitate their behavior in similar situations. “We wash our hands like this and then we dry them and put the paper towel here in the garbage can.” “I don’t know if I like this vegetable or not. I will put a little bit on my plate and try it. Then if I like it I can have more.” “Oops, I forgot to throw my gum out when I entered the room this morning. I’d better do it now.” Children learn by watching others. Show them what to do along with giving an explanation. Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

12. Conflicts are a part of life in child care programs. They arise between children and between children and staff. When handled effectively, they can become a productive method for teaching children how to effectively communicate and resolve conflicts. Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

13. Conflicts between children and staff are reduced when child care programs have the following: The program provides opportunities for children to learn to work cooperatively. Cooperative behavior is encouraged and rewarded. Children can focus their energies on enjoying games and sports and not be overly concerned with winning or losing. Diversity is valued. Children learn to respect differences. Staff model good communication skills. They encourage children to express their needs and feelings effectively. Children are encouraged to express their anger and frustration in appropriate ways. Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

14. Fairness is very important to children. To be effective, mediation can take time. It is productive time, however, if it helps children develop skills they can use to solve future problems by themselves. Mediation includes the following steps: 1.Each child tells his/her side of the story without interruption 2.Each child describes the problem as he/she sees it and then what happened in the conflict 3.Children are encouraged to consider alternatives to the course of action they chose 4.Children agree upon a solution Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

15. Sometimes children misbehave simply because they want your attention, even if it is negative attention. If a child misbehaves but is not breaking any rules, such as when they whine or complain, you can ignore a child's behavior. Below are two guidelines to safely ignoring children's behavior: Be aware of what the child is doing and make sure that she is safe. Tell the child that you will give her your undivided attention as soon as she stops the unwanted behavior. For example, say "Amy, I will listen to you as soon as you stop complaining about not getting your way." Chapter 3 Positive Guidance A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior

16. “I can see that you are not through playing yet, Sadie. Would you like to put that over here and finish it after lunch, or would you like two more minutes before washing up and coming to the lunch table?” “Mikhail has the red marker now. Would you like the green one or the blue one to use until he is finished with his?” When children are given choices they are more likely to cooperate. Offering choices promotes independence and gives the children some control over their own behavior. A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Chapter 3 Positive Guidance

17. “Can you decide which books you’re going to look at all by yourself or should I help you? (No response.) Would you like this book or this one? (No response.) I see you’ll need some help this time. Take this book to your table.” Sometimes children refuse to choose among the options available to them and you need to make the choice for them. Spending a lot of time with a child who refuses to cooperate focuses attention on negative behaviors. Some examples of how to bring a situation rapidly to a close are: “It looks like you can’t decide whether you’re going to put your shoes on or not. Why don’t you sit here and I will help you this time?” A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Chapter 3 Positive Guidance

18. Once children get used to choices, they usually want to make their own choices without protest. Remember to give only choices that you are comfortable allowing children to make. They can then choose which option they prefer. A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Chapter 3 Positive Guidance

19. Redirection involves focusing a child to a more appropriate activity. It is a useful strategy if a child is about to break a rule or if she is off-task. The following are tips for redirecting children: Remind the child what she is supposed to be doing. For example, say "Sally, you need to finish your homework before you can play on the computer." Offer the child a choice whenever possible. For example, if Joey is talking to a friend instead of cleaning up, say "Joey, would you like to pick up the glue bottles or put away the paints? A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Chapter 3 Positive Guidance

20. In most cases, children can solve their disagreements with friends if they are taught a few simple guidelines. Teaching children to solve problems will allow them to become more socially competent. Sometimes it seems children argue over every little thing. They are in the process of learning communication and social skills, such as negotiation and compromise. A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Chapter 3 Positive Guidance

21. In addition to learning how to compromise, children are learning how to make friends and how to get along with others. This also includes learning how to respond when others mistreat them. You can coach children on how to tell others when they are not treating them well. Teach the child to tell the other person: What the person is doing that is bothering him How the person's behavior makes him feel What he wants A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Chapter 3 Positive Guidance

22. Using I messages is a common tool used to tell others how you think or feel without laying blame on them. Most commonly I messages use the following format: “When…., I feel… because…” The when portion must state specifically what the upsetting behavior is without blaming the child. The I feel portion lets the child know your feelings about the behavior or the result of the behavior on you. The because portion states the effect of the behavior on you. They do not have to be used in the same order or wording. A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Chapter 3 Positive Guidance

23. Here are some examples of I Messages: “When you stand on the chair I am afraid because you will fall and get hurt.” “When it is noisy during circle time I am frustrated because I can’t talk loud enough for everyone to hear.” “When you fill the glass too full I worry that it will spill.” I messages are a respectful way of telling children what the problem is and allows them to come up with solutions to the problems. It allows them to self-regulate their behavior and to make better choices. When consistently modeled, the children eventually will be able to use I messages themselves. A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior Chapter 3 Positive Guidance

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