1. Singleness and Marriage

2. What will this talk involve? Your perspectives Bible perspectives How we can change our perspectives if they’re not in line with God’s

3. “Lord, I give you permission to change my mind about any area of my thinking in which you and I don’t agree”

4. Your perspective on singleness ?

5. Your perspective on marriage ?

6. What does the world around us say? Mixed messages!!

7. What does the church say?

8. What message is a single person given?

9. Perspectives how you view something

10. Current theory & research We ‘think’ therefore we ‘do’ !!! Thought  Feeling  Behaviour Change thinking  changed feelings  changed behaviour

11. Biblical perspective "The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent and believe the good news!" [Mark 1:15] “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.” [Romans 12:2] “Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” [1 Thessalonians 5:16-18] “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” [Philippians 4:8]

12. Vs Singleness Vs Marriage Benefits Independence? More free time? Less responsibilities? Emotionally easier?Challenges Not being selfish?Not being selfish? Finances – more expensive?Finances – more expensive? Not fixating on getting married?Not fixating on getting married? What to do with your sexuality / desire for intimacy / children?What to do with your sexuality / desire for intimacy / children? Companionship / intimacy? Support practically and emotionally? More disposable income? Sex / eros love? Not being selfish?Not being selfish? Keeping relationship alive?Keeping relationship alive? More responsibilities: Balancing partner, work and friends? (+ children?)More responsibilities: Balancing partner, work and friends? (+ children?) Less privacy / time alone?Less privacy / time alone?

13. Singleness – a Biblical perspective

14. It is good – not undesirable “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” [1 Corinthians 7:8] Can be better than marriage - frees you to do more for God “So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he that does not marry her does even better.” [1 Corinthians 7:38] Less complicated than being married “I would like you to be free of concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lords affairs – how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about affairs of this world – how has can please his wife – and his interests are divided………. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” [1 Corinthians 7:32- 35] A gift which is God’s plan for some of us “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” [1 Corinthians 7:7] Universal state of humanity in Heaven “For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.” [Matthew 22:30]

15. Marriage – a Biblical perspective

16. A mystery symbolising the relationship between Christ & the Church “ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.” [Ephesians 5:31-33] Brings much responsibility – needs to be protected “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.” [Deuteronomy 24:5] A gift / blessing “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.” [Proverbs 18:12] Ordained by God “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” [Matthew 19:6] Permanent in this life-time “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” [Matthew 19:9] To prevent sexual sin “But if they can not control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” [1 Corinthians 7:9] For a season – it won’t exist in Heaven

17. Your perspective versus Biblical perspective Which does yours ‘marry up’ with the most?

18. What are the common themes?

19. Behind the feelings……..what could be going on in your head or heart?

20. God is not holding out on you!! Embrace whatever gift God has given you NOW! Take your feelings to God and ask him to show you what is going on

21. Summary

22. Changing perspectives Trust in God’s love for youTrust in God’s love for you Ongoing daily attempts to counteract lies with truth (scripture / affirmations)Ongoing daily attempts to counteract lies with truth (scripture / affirmations) Relationships: Accountability, vulnerability & honesty. Speak truth to one anotherRelationships: Accountability, vulnerability & honesty. Speak truth to one another

23. More teaching And listen to talks by Pastor Mark Driscoll

24. What now? ”Lord, I give you permission to change my mind about any area of my thinking in which you and I don’t agree”