1. Letting Go: Transitions from High School to College American International School Guangzhou Parent Workshop April, 2016

2. Welcome! - Introductions: Your Counselors - Julie Lindsay – Grades 9, 11, 12 - Sean Menton– 10, 11, 12

3. Our Purpose Today To talk about ideas and strategies for a smooth transition for parents and students from high school to college or university To share resources and readings related to parents letting go of their children as well as practical issues To give parents an opportunity to ask questions and share

4. This Morning’s Agenda Transitions Packing and Practical Tips Finances Tips for Going Off to College Closure: RAKE and RAFT Resources

5. Culture Shock and Transition Stage 1: Initial Euphoria Feelings of excitement, high expectations Everything is intriguing The focus is on the similarities of people around them

6. Stage 2 Irritation and Frustration Focus turns from similarities to differences Small difficulties can seem monumental Can feel anxious, homesick, confused, fatigued, inadequate

7. Stage 3 Gradual Adjustment The initial crisis is over! Gradual move forward with being comfortable in a new culture Competent with interpreting cultural cues Feel comfortable with, instead of isolated from, the new culture

8. Stage 4 Adaptation Now has the ability to function comfortably in two cultures Finds different customs and practices enjoyable

9. During the rough patches.. Encourage your student to think about self-care Talk to them about balance in their lives Suggest writing a journal or talking to a friend from AISG days or a new friend Help them to find a place and a person to vent to if they are having a hard time Let them know you have faith that they will get through this adjustment and this is a natural phase

10. Question Activity What is the thing you fear the most about your son or daughter going off to college? Please… talk for a minute with a person close to you and write your response on a post it note and stick it on our poster at the front.

11. Practical Matters Time to pack up and go!

12. Packing: What does she/he need? Use the school’s checklist Understand the size of the room. Get it here or there?

13. Let’s Have a Look Look at the different rooms to get a sense of size or design ideas, or maybe a dose of reality.

14. That’s your half.

15. Money Matters 2 Principles: Talk about it early Get it done right away

16. Talk Early Before you get to campus, figure these out: How much does your child need? (books, travel, entertainment, food, clothing, etc.) How will they have access to it? Bank account (joint or solo) Credit cards (who’s responsible?) Debit cards Wire transfers Paypal What about emergencies?

17. Get it done In the first couple of days: Look at the atms on campus. Open an account at a bank. Learn how to add money to account. Come up with a budget. Please note: Most universities and colleges close their residence halls and ask students to vacate during some holidays. Talking about what to do during these times and how many trips back home are feasible in the first year is important before they leave home.

18. Top Ten Tips Top Ten Tips for Parents of Students Going Off to College (from the Assistant Dean of Arts and Sciences, University of Virginia and mother of two) Tip One : Get Up! If your child is not getting him/herself up in the morning, take the summer to get them to learn this important habit. Tip Two: Grades, Problems, and Asking for Help Getting good grades should be a high priority. Remind your children to seek out help and the people and resources in the school if they are struggling.

19. More tips… Tip Three: Taking Care of Business Tell your student to pay attention to their email accounts for for emails from faculty members and to check the web pages frequently for deadlines and important dates. Tip Four: Establish Relationships Advise your kids to seek out their professors and develop strong relationships. They can go to the office hours and introduce themselves so they know where to go when help is needed.

20. Tips… Tip Five: Course Selection Think of your role as changing from coach to cheerleader. Don’t take care of your children’s academic business; provide just enough assistance for them to get the job independently. It is crucial for students to take responsibility for their own education. Please don’t register for your children, pick their classes, or develop a four year plan for them.

21. Tips… Tip Six: Choosing a Career/ Choosing a Major Each student must make her or his own choice- not you. Students will need 10 or more courses for their major so they should choose and love what they do The more they like what they do, the better they will do in that area. Focusing on an area where there’s lots of jobs now may not be wise for someone graduating in four more years.

22. Tips…. Tip Seven: Health Tips Immunizations – up to date? They may be required Dental care – try to avoid a wisdom tooth incident (and expense) Health insurance (what’s available from the family, what does the college offer?) Find a doctor and say hello before something comes up

23. Using University Services Tip Eight: Students should seek out these services and know how to access them before they need them Health Center Academic Counseling Support Services and Writing Center Counseling Center

24. Tips… Tip Nine: Outside the Classroom Encourage you kids to get out and go to lectures, plays, sporting events, concerts, etc. These events help students grow socially and explore new interests. Tip Ten: Pace Yourself! Don’t bombard your son or daughter with all of this advice at once. Store it until you need it. If you aren’t sure how to get a conversation started, have a look at our suggestions (see handout).

25. RAKE and RAFT RAKE: When others leave. Reconciliation: before leaving resolve personal conflicts. Forgive and be forgiven. Affirmation: Tell people how important they are to you. Let them know how much you appreciate them. Keep in Touch: Stay in touch with friends. Check in with them to see how they are and continue to be a part of their lives. Explore: Explore ways to make new friends and understand that they will be an important part of their lives.

26. RAFT When you are leaving Reconciliation: Resolve conflicts: forgive and be forgiven Affirmation: Tell people how important they are to you. Let them know how much you respect and appreciate them. Farewells: Take time to say goodbye people, places, pets, and possessions Think Destination: Think realistically about where you are going. What will you need?

27. Resources Don’t forget to read: Letting, A parent’s Guide to Understanding the College Years by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger HS Counseling Moodle Page

28. Thanks! Thanks for joining us today. You can always reach us in our offices or at; jlindsay@aisgz.org smenton@aisgz.org