1. Chapter 8: Setting Limits CED 629: Dr. Marino_Spring 2016

2. Setting Limits In the 50’s the perspective changed and therapists began setting limits “Without limits there would be no therapy” (Moustakas, 1953, p.15). Involves some structured method of letting children know that certain behaviors are not permissible in the playroom

3. 54 Behaviors (Ginott, 1961) Taking a playroom toy home, taking home art the child made, deciding whether to enter or leave the playroom at will, spilling sand on the floor in the playroom, painting toys or furniture, bringing a friend to a session. Bringing food or drinks to the playroom, doing homework or reading books the child brought to the session, lighting matches, starting fires, smoking, throwing sand or other things at the therapist, tying the therapist up, shooting darts on the therapist, kissing or sitting on the therapist’s lap, hugging the therapist for long periods of time, eating mud or chalk, and urinating or defecating on the floor.

4. 3 categories of limits (1) Absolute limits: safety first. Nonnegotiable and uniformly applied. (2) Clinical limits: leaving session when it is over. (3) Reactionary limits: set when a child reacts to the therapist setting an absolute or clinical limit. (4) Kottman added- relative or negotiable limits- collaborate with the child-where finger painting occurs.

5. Bixler (1949) Limits allow the therapist to be more accepting of children because they are not allowed to destroy property or hurt the therapist Limits teach children the skills of conforming to the specific rules of different environments and relationships

6. Ginott (1959)—Why limit? Limits help children use symbolic means for catharsis Allow the therapist to be accepting, caring, and empathic toward clients Protect children and the therapist from physical harm Help children increase ego controls by giving them practice in curbing socially inappropriate impulses Keep playroom behavior from violating legal, ethical, and social rules, and Prevent excessive outlay of money for repair of the physical plant and replacement of broken toys and play materials

7. Landreth (2002)-Why limit? Limits help children feel physically and emotionally secure in the playroom, which maximizes their potential for growth Help protect the physical safety of the therapist, which increases his or her ability to fully accept children. Limits can anchor play therapy sessions to reality and help children focus on situations in the here and now.

8. Landreth cont… Limits can anchor play therapy sessions to reality and help children focus on situations in the here an now. Establish a sense of predictability and consistency in the play therapy relationship and environment Help maintain the parameters of the play therapy relationship within professional, ethical, and socially responsible guidelines Can reduce potential damage to toys, play therapy materials, and the playroom.

9. Kottman (2003)—why limit? Builds an egalitarian relationship with children in which power and responsibility are shared between the therapist and the client To enhance children’s self-control Helps children learn that they have the capacity for generating alternative appropriate behaviors and for redirecting their own socially unacceptable behaviors

10. Kottman (2003)—cont.. To encourage children to develop a sense of responsibility for complying with limits and consequences To minimize power struggles in the play therapy process

11. Influence of theoretical perspective Nondirective therapists (child-centered, experiential, Jungian, narrative, and psychodynamic) keep limits to a minimum Directive and nondirective (Adlerian, cognitive- behavioral, prescriptive, Gestalt, and object relations) use all four categories of limits. Directive therapists (Theraplay and ecosystemic) use structuring as a way of limiting.

12. Discussion Does accepting equal permissiveness? Example of acting out aggression Physical intervention is a controversial option. Must be trained. How might the relationship be altered as a result of physical intervention?

13. Setting Matters School counseling Expensive private practice Incurring expenses for damages In-home family counseling and respecting family rules

14. Therapist’s Personality High need for control. Little control=danger High tolerance level for activities that some might consider to be dangerous or out of control Timid Fear of snakes Religious beliefs and profanity

15. Other considerations You MUST examine yourself- and your prejudices to determine whether there are behaviors you find intolerable so as to not harm the client/therapeutic relationship. Developmental age and personality of the child matters Limit mostly in the moment but discuss with child

16. Other considerations You don’t want to inadvertently convey disapproval to the child. Know your triggers and limits. Keep your tone consistent when setting limits- don’t send a judgment (sarcastic, condescending, baby-like). Alter according to child’s needs. Be concise. Don’t lecture. Don’t repeat the child’s name. Consider culture

17. Landreth’s Method ACT-- A- Acknowledge the feelings, wishes, and wants of the child (e.g., “You seem really angry at me, and you want to shoot the gun at me.” C- Communicate the limit to the child, using passive voice formulation (e.g., “I am not for shooting”). T-Target appropriate alternative behaviors and redirect (e.g., “Elizabeth, you can choose to shoot the doll or the bop bag instead of shooting at me”). 4 th ultimate limit added—but last option.

18. Guerney’s Method States the rule- “You may not throw anything at me” Repeat rule- “Remember…..” and warns the child of consequences.. “If that happens again, you will have to put the ball away.” Follow through with the consequence- “Since you decided to throw the ball at me again, it will have to be put on the shelf for the rest of the session.”

19. Kottman’s Method (Adlerian Play Therapy) (1) States the limit in a nonjudgmental way, emphasizing that the limit is a rule specific to the setting (“It is against the playroom rules to shoot at people”). (2) the therapist reflects the child’s feeling or makes a guess about the purpose of the child’s behavior (“You want to show me that I can’t control your behavior”)

20. Kottman cont… (3) Therapist engages the child in generating alternative appropriate behaviors (“I bet you can think of something in the playroom you could shoot that would not be against the rules”). Then reiterate negotiation (“Okay, remember that you can shoot anything but me, you, and the mirror”). Most stop here. (4) But if not, reflect feelings or purpose of behavior and then set up logical consequences for further transgressions. (“We will need to decide the consequences if you choose to shoot me again”). Respectful and not punitive or harsh. Set a timer.

21. Examples of Limit Setting Review examples on page 157-159. Which method stands out to you? How so? Practice exercises in groups/ Whole class discussion Questions to ponder in groups/ Whole class discussion