1. Moving Past Conflict and Confrontation to Positive Action for Adults and Children Deborah Gilboa, MD #INA30 AskDoctorG @askdocg

2. If you could wave a magic wand... What conflicts would you never have to face again?

3. DOES CONFLICT MAKE YOU… Back down? Cry? Give in? Yell? GIVE UP? Throw things? Drink? Pretend ?

4. CONFLICT MAKES CORTISOL

5. CORTISOL MAKES BAD STUFF HAPPEN

6. HOW DO YOU GET RID OF CORTISOL? Breathe slowly. Change your focus. Connect with something positive. Exert yourself. Bond with someone. What do you do?

7. The ability to RECOVER from ADVERSITY! What do we know? – Bad things happen. – There are always choices to be made. – Feelings change over time. – Recovery requires tools and experience. What do people need? PRACTICE. WHAT IS RESILIENCE?

8. RESILIENCE IS NOT STOICISM Resilience requires emotion – Ignoring emotions -> damaging behavior – Expressing emotions -> positive coping mechanisms Resilience moves beyond emotion to action. What you do matters MORE. How you feel matters.

9. WHO NEEDS IT? Adults! When we are… – Hurt – Angry – Scared – Overwhelmed – Stressed! Kids! When they are… – Hurt – Angry – Scared – Overwhelmed – Stressed!

10. WHAT DO WE ALL NEED?

11. PREP YOUR RELATIONSHIPS Build trust Establish a pattern of communication Demonstrate respect Verbalize expectations Be reliable

12. RESILIENCE vs CONFLICT Strategy: 1.Attend to emotions - once 2.Gather information 3.Goal share 4.Plan together 5.Follow up

13. WHAT DO WE ALL NEED?

14. If you were stuck on a desert island and could only take one thing… Can be learned Takes practice Within your control RESILIENCE

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