1. The Chemical Tsunami of Romantic Love  Arlene R. Taylor PhD www.arlenetaylor.org Brain References – by topic

2. Your brain is the most outstanding organ on this planet It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth—until you fall in romantic love Then it gets hijacked by PEA or phenylethylamine and you become a Pea Brain Hijacked Brain  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc

3. When you and another human being are sexually or romantically attracted to each other and say, “We have chemistry” – you're right! It’s Brain Neurochemistry Neurochemistry triggers sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach, a sense of attachment / anxiety / excitement / anticipation, and so on ‘We Have Chemistry!’  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc

4. Brain Chemicals  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc Falling in romantic love or being in love is fueled by a tsunami of at least three neurochemicals: 1.Phenylethylamine 2.Norepinephrine 3.Dopamine Without this chemical impetus some likely would never marry or have children...

5. PEA is a naturally occurring neurotransmitter that resembles an amphetamine (stimulant); it triggers the release of norepinephrine and dopamine It is also found in some foods such as chocolate and avocado PEA is responsible for the elation and head-over-heels sensations associated with falling in love 1. Phenylethylamine or PEA  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc

6. The couple may not make it past the PEA brain stage (if sexually active, PEA may last a little longer) Some move from one relationship to another as soon as PEA begins to fall— seeking that passionate PEA brain stage If they marry, one or both may have extramarital affairs trying desperately to re-experience that romantic hormonal tsunami Addicted to PEA …  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc

7. Both a hormone and a neurotransmitter, it works with the autonomic nervous system (acts largely unconsciously) and regulates sexual arousal PEA triggers the release of norepinephrine, you feel the effects in the form of sweaty palms and a pounding heart 2. Norepinephrine (Noradrenaline)  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc

8. Dopamine is released when you feel better or anticipate feeling better (50% is in the GI) Release is triggered by phenylethylalanine, adrenalin, and by sexual activity Emory University: voles (a rodent) chose their mate based on dopamine release - when a female vole was injected with dopamine in the presence of a male vole, she later selected him from a group of males 3. Dopamine: Feel-better Hormone  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc

9. “Honeymoon”...  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc Chemically speaking, the honeymoon is over, about 18 – 48 months into a relationship (especially if relationship includes sexual activity) You may have some small neurochemical tsunamis but rarely like it ‘used to be’ – so grow up, get over it, and work on building the relationship (Most Hollywood relationships are dreadful role-models...)

10. Unconditional love is a choice and requires maturity, constant nurturing, and commitment Relationships that last longer than 18-48 months are assisted by three other (different) neurochemicals: 1.Oxytocin 2.Serotonin 3.Endorphins Unconditional Love  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc

11. 1. Oxytocin – Bonding Hormone  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc Plays a role in the neuroanatomy of intimacy, pair bonding (sexual activity increases oxytocin) and maternal behaviors Oxytocin crosses the BBB but is destroyed in the GI Tract Evokes a sense of contentment, reduction in anxiety and stress, promotes feelings of calmness and security when in the company of the mate, and allows orgasm to occur

12. 2. Serotonin  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc A neurotransmitter found primarily in the brain and central nervous system or CNS and in the gastrointestinal tract (90%) It is believed to impact mood and has been found to contribute to feelings of well-being and happiness Increases with mild to moderate physical exercise

13. As the brain develops tolerance to ‘love chemicals,’ it starts to release endorphins— produced during exercise, love, and sexual activity Endorphins can calm anxiety, reduce stress, relieve pain, and increase attachment and comfort 3. Endorphins – Brain Opiates  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc

14. Attraction  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc Notices first the person’s clothes, eyes, and figure Appreciation of sex partner is more romantic than sexual Attracted to wealth, position, skill, and see possibilities Attracted first to looks (figure, face, clothing) Decide in about seven seconds if they want to get better acquainted More aggressive and fall in love faster (25% by first date)

15. Socialization Differences  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc Males are encouraged to sow their wild oats; females are not and there is more censure for female sexuality Even in the era of ‘free love,’ promiscuity is accepted as more of a male norm Some cultures: females are encouraged to LOOK sexual (arm candy for male partner) but then punished emotionally if they respond to flirting from other males

16. Think Ahead  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc To compensate for the hormonal tsunami that hits you when you’re ‘in love’ Be clear about your standards Identify key characteristics for a partner Be the type of person you want to attract Get to know the ‘family’ Decide if you want that individual as the parent of your child(ren)

17. Get to know the family—do you want them as relatives for your child? The more you have in common, the less energy it will require to keep the relationship going Trying to change someone is a dead end street The past is the best predictor of the future Think Ahead, Cont’d  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc

18. Where there is an ongoing relationship of caring. Where there is a sense of humor. Where there is a sense of mutual mercy. Where there is a sense that God has given sex to you... there is nothing livelier. But when it is merchandised as a commodity for instant gratification, there is nothing deadlier than sex. ―William Swing (Your body is a temple…) The Best and the Worst  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc

19. Know Better – Do Better  Arlene R. Taylor PhD Realizations Inc It is not that I do not know what to do; it is that I do not do what I know. –Confucius By itself, knowing is insufficient Knowing must be practically applied by choice in doing... What do you know and what do you do?