2. Journal In the futures, what are some things that you can do to strengthen your marriage? Why is this important? Text Read pg. 206-208 Do Review #14, 15 pg. 210

3. A Happy Marriage Necessary Components Marriage is #1 Fidelity Commitment Unselfishness Put time into your relationship Talk and listen Touching Be positive about your spouse and marriage

4. Bugs Out of Your Marriage Getting the

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6. Verbal Terminosis A termination of open and honest communication between you and your spouse. Caution: Highly contagious. Should be treated at first sign of infection.

7. Verbal Terminosis Symptoms Tendency to watch for double meaning in our spouse’s statements. You and your spouse both complain of being misunderstood. Increasing difficulty in verbally expressing your feelings. Loss of intimate gestures, eye contact and private jokes only the two of you can understand. Increasing difficulty in finding something to discuss with your spouse.

8. Verbal Terminosis Advanced Stages Difficulty in having a conversation which doesn’t end in an argument. Long silences. Cannot relax with your spouse…conversation is stilted and repetitive.

9. Verbal Terminosis Treatment Have two one-hour discussions per week without interruptions. Avoid accusations or defensive statements. Allow equal uninterrupted expression of thoughts and feelings.

10. Lackco Affectionitis Lack of affection between you and your spouse.

11. Lackco Affectionitis Symptoms You must always have a special occasion to give your spouse a gift. You have not sincerely said “I Love You” in at least 24 hours. You seldom kiss your spouse “hello” or “goodbye” in public or private. There is a decreasing use of verbal endearments between you and your spouse. You seldom hold your spouse’s hand or display any similar physical affection in public.

12. Lackco Affectionitis Advanced Stages You have never been “caught” kissing your spouse by your children. You consider romance unrealistic.

13. Lackco Affectionitis Treatment Make one phone call per day to your spouse “just to talk.” Experience one date per week. Evenly apply verbal endearments and physical affection. Exercise continuous use of the words, “I Love You.” Plan to spend more meaningful moments together.

14. Perfectomania Unrealistic expectations for a perfect marriage and/or a perfect spouse.

15. Perfectomania Symptoms You or your spouse have a tendency to ignore problems affecting your marriage. You expect your spouse to look perfect at all times. You or your spouse expect every moment to be romantic. You expect your spouse to always be in a good mood. You have a feeling your spouse is not giving enough.

16. Perfectomania Advanced Stages You cannot cope with misunderstanding or disagreement with your spouse. You experience increasing disenchantment with your spouse and your marriage.

17. Perfectomania Treatment Plan and have one, two or more discussions with your spouse as required. Apply honesty as you compare your personal expectations with your actual marriage. Allow equal expression of thoughts and feelings. Exercise a realistic and an open mind as you and your spouse consider ways to make marriage more satisfying. Bee realistic.

18. Companion Minusis Deficiency in time spent with spouse.

19. Companion Minusis Symptoms You are usually too busy to sit down and talk with your spouse. You are not aware of the current interests of your spouse. The two of you have not gone on a “date” in at least a month. You are only together when you are with children, family or friends. You only participate together in activities which involve family management and/or problems.

20. Companion Minusis Advanced Stages You and your spouse have not had a half-hour of uninterrupted companionship in two weeks. You have not seen your spouse during waking hours in over a week.

21. Companion Minusis Treatment Conduct one planning session per week with your spouse to systematically schedule the time you will spend together. Schedule at least one date per week... NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

22. Spouse Modificosis Obsession with remaking your spouse.

23. Spouse Modificosis Symptoms You feel uncomfortable with your spouse’s appearance, habits or personality. You have a tendency to point out your spouse’s faults. You have not sincerely complimented your spouse recently (24-48 hours). You tend to avoid introducing your spouse to friends. I’m going batty

24. Spouse Modificosis Advanced Stages Increasing desire to make biting comments to and about your spouse. As a result of your discomfort with your spouse, you spend less time together.

25. Spouse Modificosis Treatment Privately determine why your spouse’s traits are causing you irritation. Consider how your behavior could be modified to bring out the best in your partner. Discuss your problem with your spouse, evenly applying love and support. Mix well with suggestions of how you can work together to become your “best selves.” Exercise patience, acceptance and understanding.

26. Non Directionalicosis Deficiency of goals in your marriage.

27. Non Directionalicosis Symptoms Lack of direction in daily activities…your marriage seems to be going nowhere. An increasing restless feeling between you and your spouse. You have not discussed the future with your spouse in two months. You experience an increasing desire to turn back the clock and have things as they were. You sense a realization that you have not accomplished the goals you set when first married. You and your spouse have not jointly set goals for your marriage.

28. Non Directionalicosis Advanced Stages You feel a sense of fear when you think about your children going out on their own and leaving you alone with your spouse. There is a feeling of failure and despondency between you and your spouse.

29. Non Directionalicosis Treatment Together, set specific, attainable goals for your marriage. Strive to have daily, as well as long-term, activities which will help you both achieve your goals. Exercise consideration and mutual support.

30. Budgetitis An inability to accept your spouse’s attitudes toward money.

31. Budgetitis Symptoms Finances are primary topic of arguments. A feeling your spouse is spending you into financial ruin. Tendency to “surprise spouse” with items such as new car, boat, etc.

32. Budgetitis Advanced Stages Tendency to spend money to get back at your spouse. One spouse has complete control of the budget, forcing the other spouse to account for all money spent.

33. Budgetitis Treatment Plan and hold one or more yearly discussions on budget and financial priorities. Evenly apply compromise. Exercise understanding and consideration of your spouse’s values and background.

34. State #4 Strengthening a Marriage

35. Internet Quiz & Review Test next time. Notebook due next time.