1. District 4 Area Workshops 2016 Conflict Resolution or I say tomato you say…

2. 2 A Team A team is a small group of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common purpose

3. Barriers to communication So – we are working towards a common purpose – what gets in the way? Information overload Time Energy Message congruency Personality differences Lack of trust

4. We’d be fine if they weren’t so different Why do people behave the way they do? innate personality cultural differences learned responses This adds richness to our culture and org communication more challenging causes judgement may create tensions/contribute to conflict

5. Separate realities My favorite theory Misconceptions Motivated by same things To be successful understand differences respond without judgment Leads to more positive interactions and less conflict

6. Separate realities 2 Take advantage of different personalities We need people with different strengths Detailed people as well as those with vision Creative and analytical Those who work best in groups, and those who think best on their own

7. This relationship would be great if it weren’t for you Real title of a book How do we try to sell our ideas to others? What will work with other person Task focused person needs ??? Relationship focused person needs??? Technical person needs???

8. Trust Most important ingredient Consider One time felt trust in a friend One time felt trusted by a friend

9. What is trust? I trust you will tell me the truth Confidence in good intentions No reason to need to be protective Comfortable with being vulnerable

10. Trust Takes time to develop Is the foundation of team work Is never complete, always needs work Is about vulnerability

11. Costs of low trust Takes time and energy Dread of team meetings (will I be safe?) Reluctance to take risks in asking questions or offering opinions

12. …this is really about conflict How it affects us How we can learn to deal with it good communication trust assertiveness

13. What is conflict? What words come to mind?

14. Conflict Fear Loss Humiliation Flight Loss of productivity Hurt bad tense angry …all negative words

15. Another look at conflict The absence of conflict is not harmony, it is apathy Conflict over ISSUES is natural and necessary Some words that define conflict in a positive way

16. Positive conflict Better relationships Increased confidence Less anger and depression Greater respect from others Increased intimacy Peace Less fear Greater sense of personal strength

17. Sources of conflict

18. Poor communication Unclear responsibilities Different goals Divergent personalities Different methods/styles Different perceptions/opinions Conflict of interest Using same old solutions over and over

19. When does conflict occur Interdependence AND differences It is a fact of life No one’s fault Concerns of team members are incompatible

20. Interdependence Need to work together High when decisions affect all members Differences Varying values, temperaments, experience, responsibilities More diverse, more conflict

21. Positive conflict Thoughts??

22. Positive conflict Teams that engage in conflict Have lively, interesting meetings Extract and exploit ideas of all Solve real problems quickly Minimize politics Put critical topics on table to discuss

23. Teams that fear conflict Have boring meetings Back channel politics and personal attacks thrive Ignore controversial topics Do not tap into all members perspectives Waste time and energy

24. Tips for managing conflict Control your temper and emotional response Understand the issues Pick your battles Search for a common goal or ground Look at the content of the conflict

25. Content of conflict Motivation – mine and hers Beliefs and values Limitations influencing perspective Fears, lack of skills, stresses, pressures

26. Conflict management styles Avoidance Competition Accommodation Compromise Collaboration

27. Process of conflict management Analyze the situation Plan a strategy Prepare your strategy Implement your strategy

28. Effective tactics Be calm Maintain eye contact and be aware of body language Explain your concerns in a descriptive manner Supply only relevant data I statements Clarify other’s message by paraphrasing Get feedback That is, really listen

29. Personal action plan What is one strength of yours in dealing with conflict? What is one area you could focus on and improve? What is the hardest behavior for you to deal with? Why? What are you willing to do differently in the coming weeks?

30. Lee Fogarty, Co-Chair District Advocacy Committee lfogartyzonta@gmail.com