1. Friends for Life Parent’s evening

2. Fun FriendsEarly Childhood4-7 years FRIENDS for LifePrimary School8- 11 years My FRIENDS Youth Upper Primary/ Middle Secondary 12-15 years Strong Not Tough Adult Resilience Upper Secondary to Adult 16 onwards How the programme works

3.  Overview anxiety and resilience  Information FRIENDS  Questions Agenda

4.  Cognitive/ Thinking  Physiological/ Body  Behavioural/ Actions Emotional distress is…

5. 0-5 MonthsLoss of support, loud noises 7-12 MonthsFear of strangers, fear of the unexpected 1 Years Separation from main attachment figures, toileting and injury fears 2- 6 Years Many fears: loud noises, animals, darkness, separation, life changes, strangers, injury 7-8 YearsSupernatural beings, dark, media events, left alone, injury 9-12 Years Test and exams, school performance, bodily injury, physical performance, thunder and lightning, death, dark (low percentage) AdolescentsSchool, home, safety, political issues, personal relationships, personal appearance, natural phenomena, uncertainty/ future, animals All children experience anxiety as part of their normal development

6. Emotions  Emotions become challenging when… -Significant impact -Beyond developmental appropriateness -Significant distress -Present for long periods -Significant interference  Risk Factors -Temperament -Traumatic experiences -Developmental challenges

7. Scientifically proven resilience skills Attachment/ Affection promoted through: 1.Being mindful of your physical and psychological connection with your child 2.Facial expressions act as a mirror 3.Be mindful that exploring with a feeling of security is circular 4.Differentiate between love and the behaviour of your loved one 5.Genuine feedback and praise Positive thinking style Attention Support networks Health Factors Skills taught in FRIENDS Protective Factors

8.  Unconditional love/ Positive, stable attachment  Attention to the positives  Positive thinking style  Time to be children (themselves)  Resilience skills Some of the important gifts you can give your child

9.  Attentive to surroundings  The here and now  Aware of and enjoying all of your senses  Pay attention to them and be accepting of them  Be non-judgemental- It just is  Resilience – to spring back or rebound  Oxford dictionary- Ability to overcome adversity; achieving good outcomes regardless of life events or circumstances What is emotional well-being? Mindfulness

10.  Ability to form and maintain positive and stable attachments - Self regulation - Self soothing - Empathy - Friendship skills - Self and Social awareness Emotional and Social Skills necessary for Resilience

11.  Trying and learning new things  Managing feelings and ‘meltdowns’  Knowing triggers (if any)  Making friends  Handling bullying  Fitting into the family and school environment  Benefits of Resilience  “Children who are emotionally and socially skilled are more successful at school” (Durlak et al., 2011) Childhood challenges

12. Feelings (ourselves & others) NormalisationBeing BraveBody Clues Specific Skills and Techniques taught Relaxation BreathingMusclesVisualisation Cognitive AttentionSelf-TalkChallenging Behavioural/ Social Problem-solvingStep plansSupport/ Role Models

13. Theoretical Model of Anxiety/ Depression Prevention and Resilience Building

14.  Attachment is the number one predictor of positive well being -Unconditional love -Use attachment skills Tools -Understanding feelings -Emotional Self-regulation -Self-soothing ability -Empathy Skills -Circle of support Attachment

15.  Tools -Problem solving/ coping skills -Gradual Step Plans to Achieve goals -Identification of Positive Role Models -Peer support -Benefits of giving to others -Interpersonal Rewards Learning

16.  Tools -Awareness of Self- talk -Choosing helpful Self-talk and Thinking -Changing Unhelpful Thinking to Helpful Thinking -Expecting Good things to happen -Understanding of Feelings- Thoughts- Behaviour Interactions Mind

17.  Tools -Becoming friends with your body -Deep Breathing Exercises -Relaxation Activities -Mindfulness -Self-Awareness -Health Factors -Having fun and enjoying life Body

18.  Important to know -Self-awareness -Changing Habits -Reciprocal Skills -Modelling Skills In the FRIENDS Programme

19.  Realistic expectations about long term change -Responsibilities: - Child (learn and use new skills) - Parent (make an effort to notice small positive changes) How can we help? -You play a vital role -Skills each week need to be reinforced during the group and at home in order for change to occur What are your expectations?

20.  Our body is our friend.  We need to be a good friend to ourselves.  We can make friends.  Talking to our friends is important.  FRIENDS is an acronym for the skills and strategies taught in the program.  For Life: We need to use these skills throughout the rest of our lives when faced with challenges. Why do we use the word “Friends”?

21.  Feelings  Remember to Relax. Have quiet time.  I can do it! I can try my best.  Explore Solutions and Coping Step Plans.  Now reward yourself! You’ve done your best!  Do it every day!  Smile! Stay calm and talk to your support networks! The FRIENDS Acronym

22.  Talk about our own feelings  Talk about other people’s feelings  Learning to understand and regulate our own feelings and learn empathy for other’s feelings  Working on feeling happy, brave and confident F = Feelings

23. Tips for families  Verbalise  Validate  Talk about feelings  Strengths F = Feelings

24.  ‘Milkshake Breathing’ – Slow deep breathing  Muscle Relaxation  Visualisation  Quiet Time  Fun activities with the family are a great way to relax and feel good. R = Relax

25. Tips for families  Verbalise what is happening inside their bodies  Aware of clues- then do something about it  Quiet time each day  Practise breathing  Family menu of activities R = Relax

26. Two main steps Red Thoughts Green Thoughts (negative self-talk) (positive self-talk) I = I Can Try! (Helpful Thoughts)

27. Red vs Green(powerful) Thoughts Red “I’m dumb” “I give up” “I hate my sister/ brother” “I have no friends” Green “I’m ok at lots of things” “If I try I’ll get better” “I find my brother/ sister annoying sometimes, but other times they are fun to play with” “I have 2 people to play with and my dog is my friend”

28.  Unhelpful Helpful thoughts  Challenge them by asking certain questions - But you do many things well, don’t you?  Make it a green thought… Challenge Unhelpful thoughts

29.  Am I exaggerating?  Am I sure this is really going to happen?  Am I forgetting the positives?  What is the worst that could possibly happen?  Am I going to let this red thought boss me around? Yellow Challenger Thoughts

30. Tips for families -Glass as ‘half-full’ rather than ‘half-empty’ -Aware of their self-talk -Bossing back unhelpful thoughts -Notice negative thinking in yourself or your child -Model what they see and hear around them I = I Can Try!

31.  Friendship skills  Be brave  Look people in the eye  Listen  Smile  Share  Take Turns  Help E = Encourage (How to be a good friend)

32.  Teaches children how to be brave by taking small steps towards something they find tricky or scary.  Break down challenge  Gradually more difficult until fear overcome  FRIENDS as they climb  Feel calm before moving on  Goals could relate to: - learning a new skill, completing a task, trying something new Step Plans

33. Tips for families -Descriptive phrase -Practise saying GREEN thoughts -Share your own experiences -Break skills and activities into small steps Step Plans

34. Rewards  Examples: -Favourite activity -Relaxing -Relaxation time together -Encourage rewarding with non material rewards  Tips for families -Reward themselves -Give straight after the effort -Trying important -Try and ‘have a go’

35. Tips for families -Identify the people you look up to -Sources of support available to you e.g. family, friends, teachers… N = Nurture

36. Tips for families  Incorporate into everyday life  Challenge unhelpful thoughts  Discuss situations…coping step plans  Reward themselves D = Do it every day!

37.  Identify future challenges  Realistic goals  Practising everyday  Setbacks may occur S = Stay Happy (Skill practice sessions)

38. What to expect -Increased family communication -More empathy -Being braver -More positive -Deal directly with challenging situations

39. Are there any questions about the programme?