1. QCS Feedback – Writing Task1 2014 paper – Who Cares Top result possible: 1+ Bottom result possible: 6- Ensure that all of your peers are paying attention to this … it will undoubtedly be those that aren’t watching that are the ones that need to the most! 1/18

2. Overall Results for Cohort Central Idea 3+ Vocabulary 2- Responsiveness 2- Grammar, Spelling and Punctuation 2- Structuring and Sequencing 2- 2

3. Ask yourself these questions regarding CENTRAL IDEA…  Did you have a clear, deliberate well focused central idea?  Did you give enough details to develop your central idea?  Did you write a title that tied in to the central idea?  Did your introduction include the central idea?  Did your conclusion relate back to the introduction?  Was your conclusion useful? Did it summarise or offer a resolution for your central idea? 3/18

4. Ask yourself these questions regarding VOCABULARY… 4/18  Is the language used appropriate to your audience?  Is the language used appropriate to your genre?  Have you used interesting words (i.e. not just ‘got’ or ‘pretty’ or ‘nice’)  Have you used adjectives and adverbs (describing words)?

5. Ask yourself these questions regarding RESPONSIVENESS… 5/18  Did your writing connect with the stimulus?  Did your writing connect with the concept?  Did each paragraph refer to the concept and stimulus?  Did you do something interesting with the concept and stimulus?

6. Ask yourself these questions regarding GRAMMAR, SPELLING & PUNCTUATION… 6/18  Was your tense consistent throughout?  Did you check spelling? E.g. loose/lose, accept/except, there/their and other words commonly spelt incorrectly.  If you used direct speech, did each new speaker’s words start on a new line?  Did you correctly use apostrophes? e.g. It’s can only mean it is  Did you use uncommon punctuation correctly? e.g. colon and semicolon.  Did you use ‘could have’ instead of ‘could of’, etc?

7. Ask yourself these questions regarding STRUCTURING and SEQUENCING… 7/18  Did you use a clear genre? Did you adhere to the conventions of your chosen genre?  Did you use a variety of sentence lengths?  Did you check if your long sentences needed more punctuation, or stronger punctuation, such as a semi-colon?  Did you use a variety of sentence structures?  Was your expression clear and precise?  Did your sentences make sense?  Did you use paragraphs appropriately?  Did your ideas follow in a natural sequence/logical order?  Did you vary the first word of each sentence/paragraph?

8. Summary 8/18 Central Idea 3+ Vocabulary 2- Responsiveness2- Grammar, Spelling and Punctuation2- Structuring and Sequencing2- Overall3+ These results are very pleasing. We would like to see all of the mean results in the 2 range. Another important observation: Responsiveness is actually weighted TWICE as much as any of the other criteria!!! A 2- result suggests that your cohort can have success in the WT.

9. Some Specific Comments from the Markers… Several students did not give their work a title. A title alerts the reader to the possible content and puts them in the zone. It is a clear instruction (number 8). Students should tick only those stimulus pieces they have made a clear connection to. Some students did not tick any of the stimulus pieces. You should only tick one (at most two) stimulus pieces. Decide on whether you are using 2 nd (you/me) or 3 rd person (they) and then stick to it for the entire task. 9/18

10. 10/18 Some students quoted directly, even at some length, from the stimulus sheet. These quoted words do not count towards the total. Students should not refer to the items e.g.' as noted in Stimulus 8....' Reference to the material should be through the ideas written on the page - the aim is not a critique of the stimulus items. Handwriting is important. If the reader has to struggle to work out what a word is meant to be, he/she loses the thread of the passage. In reality, at the marking of the actual test, readers will lose patience.

11. As always, the best scripts were those written from a point of knowledge or personal experience. Students could ask ‘what do I know about that I can relate to something on this task paper’. The conclusion should provide a summary or some message which refers back to the introduction/central idea. Some scripts, even some of the pretty good ones, did not really address the overall concept of ‘who cares' in any way. This means they can only receive a maximum of 4+ on the criterion for 'Responsiveness', which is the most heavily weighted criterion. 11/18

12. Allow time at the end to proofread your work. During this time pretend to read it aloud (though obviously do this silently). Does it read well? Commas? Sentence Structure? More paragraphs? Less paragraphs? Make a plan first. Take some time before you start writing your actual response to plan the STRUCTURE of your script. 12/18

13. Now… having completed one WT practice, and by acting on the above feedback and advice, your aim for the next WT practice is to improve your result (regardless of how well you achieved) and thus improve your cohort’s overall results. We will be monitoring both your individual and your cohort results for exactly that – improvement! If you are not sure how to improve your results, please see your English teacher, your PSD teacher, me, or even your QCS handbook and SIB. For the sake of all of your OPs, please (please, please!) don’t just let it go when you KNOW you can improve. 13/18 From Mrs Thatcher…