2. Opening Activity Work in small groups and brainstorm: – How does someone know when they are “ready”? – What kinds of issues need to be discussed? – What kinds of questions should they be asking themselves as individuals, or as a couple? – If it helps to create a scenario, then do that. Jot down as many ideas as you can think of…

3. The 3 most common phrases from teens who have unplanned pregnancy:

4. “ I don’t know what happened” #1: “ I don’t know what happened”

5. “We never talked about it”. #2: “We never talked about it”.

6. #3: Any statement involving the word “alcohol” or “drunk”. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, and makes people do things they wouldn’t do when they are sober. -Sometimes they abandon birth control or use it improperly. -Sometimes they engage in acts they didn’t plan on doing when they were sober.

7. Are You Ready? How do you know? This is a hard question, one that only you can answer.

8. Keep in mind that this is not a test that you should try to pass or try not to fail… …It is more like a list of things to consider when making this decision.

9. #1 Are you ready to be active as an individual? Only you can answer that question.

10. #2 Are you ready to be active as a couple?

11. Are you able to talk comfortably to your partner about other important relationship issues?

12. #3 Have you addressed the issue of STD’s?

13. You need to discuss your intimacy history, not just your sexual history.

14. #4 Do you have a pregnancy prevention plan?

15. Are both partners willing to make a plan together? The more methods you perform correctly, the lower the odds of unwanted pregnancy.

16. #5 What will you do if there is an unplanned pregnancy?

17. Girls: You get to decide because it is your body and you would carry the baby or choose to end the pregnancy. Guys: You don’t really have as big of a say as you would like, and she makes the final decision. Both of you should still discuss this issue.

18. #6 Are you sure your partner wants to be with you for reasons that go beyond a physical attraction?

19. #7 Have you considered the ethical or religious aspect of this decision?

20. #8 Have you considered the emotional consequences of sexual activity? This is the most unpredictable aspect of sexual activity…you just can’t predict how you or your partner will feel after you have had sex.

21. #9 Is there pressure on either partner? There should be no pressure from either partner to become sexually active. Pressure from a partner is a clear sign of immaturity and selfishness, and neither of those are desirable qualities in a partner.

22. Don’t forget to write these in your notes… 1-Partner Pressure (direct or indirect…can also be imagined or assumed pressure) Sexual Pressures

23. 2-Family/Culture Pressure Can be implied or directly stated.

24. Sexual Pressures 3-Internal Pressure Curiosity, hormones, natural desires and attractions we feel for someone…

25. Sexual Pressures 4-Media Pressure (TV, movies, music, internet…)

26. Sexual Pressures 5-Ethical or Religious Pressure

27. Sexual Pressures 6-Peer Pressure Can be direct or indirect. Direct pressure is obvious. Indirect pressure can come from assuming others are sexually active.

28. Sexual Pressures 7-Pressure not be a virgin by a certain age This is another internal pressure that can influence teens.

29. Sexual Pressures 8-Alcohol/Drugs Alcohol is an influencing factor that can cause pressure. (over 80% of college students say alcohol was involved in their first sexual experience)

30. Sexual Pressures 9-Gender Pressure Guys report feeling pressure to be active, while girls report feeling pressure NOT to be active

31. REFLECTION REFLECTION What does it say about your relationship if your partner doesn’t want to have these conversations with you?

32. What kinds of guidelines should you have for these conversations? Be sober. No physical contact. No distractions. Promise that this is the first of a number of conversations about your relationship. More…

33. What kinds of guidelines should you have for these conversations? Have patience. That is normal. – Uncomfortable? That is normal. Not cool. – Losing tempers? Not cool. If it happens, stop and take some space and try again some other day or reconsider your relationship. Promise to continue the dialogue. More…

34. What kinds of guidelines should you have for these conversations? Make no promises for sex after the conversation. Promise honest answers. Do not treat it like a test. Passing the test does not = sex! When in doubt, wait it out!