1. Alternative Child Rearing Practices Briefing - Disabled Children Delivered by Sharon Cumberbatch Family Services Manger/Deputy Director Carers of B&D/Lay Member LSCB

2. Biography Local – live and work in LBBD Parent Carer – to 32 year old disabled son Family Services Manager – Carers of B&D Working with approx. 1300 Young Carers and approx. 900 Parent Carers

3. Am I different? Parenting a child with a disability or additional needs can often be a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences. It can be really hard to talk to others about how you feel or what you are doing as you may feel they might not be able to understand it fully.

4. FEELINGS AT DIAGNOSIS TASKS PARENTS FACE ON DIAGNOSIS OF DISABILITY IN THEIR CHILD THE TASK OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: to face up to our child’s disability and come to grips with it. Deeper currents of feeling: PAIN – LOSS – GRIEF FOR THE NEW PARENT: I.Handling powerful feelings that are breaking through normal composure II.Experiencing a range of intense feelings, in particular loss (and grief) III.Questioning self and others – what is wrong with my child? How did it happen? IV.Needing to include family and friends in the experience.

5. Poverty Mental & Physical Health Discrimination Damaging labels Pain of disability Stigma What makes me different?

6. Disclosure of a disability “lays down” an emotional Template of parental responses which may be evoked, but also resolved, in subsequent transitional adjustments such as : HOMEMAKING BELONGING WORK/LEISURE ACTIVITIES MOVES FOR HEALTH & EDUCATION EDUCATIONAL STATEMENTS & SCHOOLING EARLY INTERVENTION NEW DIAGNOSIS/ DISCLOSURE OF DISABILITY PARENT’S EMOTIONAL TEMPLATE SHOWING CARRY OVER OF UNRESOLVED TASK OF SURVIVAL WHICH MAY ADVERSELY EFFECT DECISION MAKING RELATING TO THE DEVELOPEMENTAL TASKS OF THEIR CHILD/DEVELOPMENT UP TO 2 YEARS EMERGENCE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT SURVIVAL FOCUS IMPAIRMENT DISABILITY TASKS OF ADJUSTMENT FOR PARENTS FOLLOWING DIAGNOSIS OF DISABILITY IN THEIR CHILD

7. Risk of Abuse and the Position of Disabled Children 1. Reviewing available research found that disabled children represent a disproportionate number of the total known child abuse victims 2. Given there is no co-ordinated approach to data collection, it is difficult to tell accurately what the overall incidence of abuse among disabled children might be. Those studies that do exist clearly suggest disproportionate representation of the disabled child. 3. In child abuse investigations for all children in the USA in 1994 about 1 in 3 cases reported maltreatment of children were substantiated. Of cases reported only about 60% were investigated. In that year neglect was the most frequent type of maltreatment (53%), followed by physical abuse (26%), sexual abuse (14%) and emotional abuse (5%).

8. The likelihood that an individual child will experience abuse or neglect may be influenced by: the family situation: poverty is especially related to serious neglect and severe abuse, as is the presence of male batterer of his partner; also unemployment, or social isolation. Most poor families do not maltreat their children these factors interact with care giver characteristics such as: the caregiver i.e. personal experience of child abuse, substance abuse, witnessing domestic violence as a child, psychological impairment, negative attitudes towards parenting, low self-esteem, poor impulse control, aggressiveness, anxiety and depression, inappropriate expectations of the child and inaccurate knowledge of child development. the child’s vulnerability is increased by being: younger children, girls, premature infants and children with more irritable temperaments are more likely to suffer abuse and neglect.

9. Encourage Independence Direct payments Benefits transferred to the young person when sixteen Further education Seeking opportunities Whose problem? Letting goEmploymentOur focus on disability issues Alternative living Don’t assumeWork experience AdvocateCircle of friends After school clubs Human rightAllowing choice Don’t compare SocializationManaging one’s own life

10. Conclusion REFLECT - How challenging is it to parent a disabled child? REFLECT - on your own working practices in this area.

11. QUESTIONS THANK YOU FOR LISTENING

12. Contact details Sharon Cumberbatch Family Services Manager/Deputy Director/LSCB Lay Member Carers of B&D 334, Heathway Dagenham Essex RM10 8NJ 02085934422 sharon.cumberbatch@carerscentre.org.uk Website: www.carerscentre.org.ukwww.carerscentre.org.uk B&D SCB website: www.bardag-lscb.co.ukwww.bardag-lscb.co.uk 02082273578 lscb@lbbd.gov.uk