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“Yesterday I ran in a half marathon, and while I run, it is chilly. I will finish in under my goal time of two hours. Today I was rather sore, to say the least.”
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1. Review homework- PSN typed draft and adult reader revision sheet 2. SoW #6 Lesson- Verb Tense: Simple Tense 1. Please glue the verb tense chart in your Writer’s Notebook Writer’s Workshop 1. Verb tense consistency in narrative lesson 2. “Trim the Fat” from narrative
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Week 6: Verb Tense –Simple Tenses
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“In English my name means hope. In Spanish it means too many letters.” – The House on Mango Street. “The days of September passed, one after the other, much the same.” – Number the Stars, Lois Lowry “There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;” ‘The Love Song of Alfred J. Prufrock’, T.S. Eliot
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Present tense verbs are “Right Now” verbs. They can also represent a widespread truth Past tense expresses an action or situation that was started and finished in the past. Most past tense verbs end in -ed. Future tense expresses an action or situation that will occur in the future. ( This can be accomplished several ways: by adding will/shall to the verb, by using am, is, or are with going to, and We can also use the present tense form with an adverb or adverbial phrase to show future time.)
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SIMPLE PASTSIMPLE PRESENTSIMPLE FUTURE Portrays an action or state of being that took place before the time when the sentence is written. I WAS I RAN I ATE HE SMILED Used to describe an action or state of being that occurs at the time the sentence is written. I AM I RUN I EAT HE SMILES Portrays an action or state of being that will occur sometime after the sentence is written. It is often formed with the word will. I WILL BE I WILL RUN I WILL EAT HE WILL SMILE
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Have I had a shower. (Past simple) I have a shower every day. (Present simple) I will have a shower later. (Future simple) See I saw Chris yesterday. (Past simple) I see Chris at work. (Present simple) I will see Chris at the party this evening. (Future simple) Run I ran five kilometres yesterday. (Past simple) I run very fast. (Present simple) I will run tomorrow morning. (Future simple) It is important to remember that in the Present simple with ‘he’, ‘she’, and ‘it’ add an ‘s’ to the verb. Like He liked the film. (Past simple) He likes swimming (Present simple) He will like the party. (Future simple) Eat She ate her lunch outside. (Past simple) She eats lunch at the restaurant near her office. (Present simple) She will eat with me. (Future simple) Know I knew her when I was a child. (Past simple) I know your Father. (Present simple) I will know what to do later. (Future simple) Cook I cooked dinner. (Past simple) I cook dinner. (Present simple) I will cook dinner tomorrow. (Future simple)
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Using the subject “Athlete” and the verb “practice,” create a present, past, and future tense sentence in this section of your notes.
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Photoshopped Summer Narrative Verb Tense Consistency
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Using the correct verb tense allows you to clearly express the time relationships among your ideas. Whenever possible, keep your verbs consistent. It’s important for the reader to know if your event took place in the past or if it’s an event happening right now. Video: http://education-portal.com/academy/lesson/identifying-errors-of- verb-tense.html
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Fix It If you suspect inconsistency in your writing: 1.THINK about what “tense” or “time” you want to convey our story– past or present. 2.LOCATE verbs in the first sentence, and see what tense they are in. (This will likely be the tense you use throughout your story). 3.REREAD your other sentences, and spot shifts in the initial tense you chose. 4.CORRECT the shifts in verb tense to make sure they’re all consistent.
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Student Example #1 Today was a bright sunny Friday at the beach. There are a lot of surfers, boogie boarders, and people are just swimming in the gigantic waves. The sun was so strong that it was so uncomfortable to relax in your chair-- sweat would drip down your face and form puddles on your bathing suit drawstring waist. My Mom, Dad and I were sitting in our beach chairs, and my sister Gianna and my brother Rocco were out in the ocean swimming in the waves. I look over and I see a life guard boat, and it has painted on the side Sea Isle City, NJ. It is a perfect beach day, a day I’ll never forget – one that is almost too perfect.
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Student Example #1 Today was a bright sunny Friday at the beach. There are a lot of surfers, boogie boarders, and people are just swimming in the gigantic waves. The sun was so strong that it was so uncomfortable to relax in your chair-- sweat would drip down your face and form puddles on your bathing suit drawstring waist. My Mom, Dad and I were sitting in our beach chairs, and my sister Gianna and my brother Rocco were out in the ocean swimming in the waves. I look over and I see a life guard boat, and it has painted on the side Sea Isle City, NJ. It is a perfect beach day, a day I’ll never forget – one that is almost too perfect.
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Student Example #2 I was riding down the bumpy, narrow street when I see that Anthony Elgord or “professor” is doing another one of his stupid experiments that usually never works. This time there’s a bigger group of people watching him fail, or maybe he’s actually created something. I zoom home, hoping I won’t miss it. I run inside, grab my iPhone 5, and hurry back. “I didn’t miss it” I said… but when I say it I’m panting like a dog and my house is not that far away. Anyway, I sit down and as soon as he lays his eyes on me, his face turns as red as a burning fire ball. Anthony walks up to me and whispers, “Don’t mess me up.”
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Student Example #2 I was riding down the bumpy, narrow street when I see that Anthony Elgord or “professor” is doing another one of his stupid experiments that usually never works. This time there’s a bigger group of people watching him fail, or maybe he’s actually created something. I zoom home, hoping I won’t miss it. I run inside, grab my iPhone 5, and hurry back. “I didn’t miss it” I said… but when I say it I’m panting like a dog and my house is not that far away. Anyway, I sit down and as soon as he lays his eyes on me, his face turns as red as a burning fire ball. Anthony walks up to me and whispers, “Don’t mess me up.”
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Trim the Fat from your Narrative You are the butcher in this meat shop!
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Listen to the Oral Narrative and consider the following questions: What details were unnecessary? When were you bored? When did the story get interesting? What details were essential? What details added to the suspense or interest? What details made you want to hear more?
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Are your details essential, meaningful, purposeful? When revising, I remind myself I’m not writing a documentary. If I show Jack driving to school, the trip must reveal something, create tension, or move the plot. Does Mary run him off the road? Does a cobra slither from his glove box? Does he head to California instead of going to history class? If not, skip the drive. -Merle Drown Consider a paragraph from your narrative, and ask yourself: Do my details have purpose? Do they add to the suspense or interest in my story? If I took out this detail, would my story really change?
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Consider your dialogue… We stack descriptive details up like mismatched dishes at a yard sale. We politely clear our throats for every line of dialogue and include “Hello” “Goodbye” “How are you?” and “What’s up?” as if they were original gems. We document our characters’ to-and-froing, in and out of buildings, across floors, up stairs. -Merle Drown Consider a paragraph from your narrative, and ask yourself: Does my dialogue sound authentic? Have I included lines that don’t necessarily add anything to the plot or character development? What lines can I take out so that what remains really shines?
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