2. Lesson 4a – Revision & Edit Essential Question How can I revise and edit my persuasive essay? Students will: -Review revision tips -Find out some specific revision tips for persuasive writing Success Criteria I can improve the fluency and voice of my persuasive essay

3. Persuasive Writing - Review What are some revision tips that we have used before, which will help us for our persuasive essays

4. Revising our drafts Transition Words? – What are transition words? – Ex. Then, place the dropper above the coin. For example, it should look like a …. Therefore, 10 drops can fit on…. Editing – Where do the commas go?

5. Revising our drafts Voice – Which shows more confidence? I think video games are bad Vs. Students should not play video games Which voice did you use?

6. Revising our drafts Voice – What is the difference? Playing the extremely violent video game Call of Duty creates psychopathic kids that will go on a rampage and kill everyone in the school. The action packed game Call of Duty allows the gamer to create and develop complex strategies, while taking into consideration the consequences of a ill thought of plan. These strategies could then be applied into the classroom as students weigh the pro and cons of their study choices.

7. Revising our drafts Picture + Caption – Look at your pictures you included What is this paragraph about? Does this Picture help? Why? Does the caption explain the picture?

8. Persuasive Revision Tips 1.Tips from previous major writing assignments 2.Fluency – Transition Words – Editing – ensure there is a comma after each transition word Ex. Therefore, Ex. As shown in the above example, 3.Voice – Strong language only Ex. I think – Biased voice Opposite of expository 4.Picture + Caption – Is your picture in the correct location? – Does your caption explain how the picture connects to your argument? Playing the extremely violent video game Call of Duty creates psychopathic kids that will go on a rampage and kill everyone in the school. The action packed game Call of Duty allows the gamer to create and develop complex strategies, while taking into consideration the consequences of a ill thought of plan. These strategies could then be applied into the classroom as students weigh the pro and cons of their study choices.

9. For Next Class All Revision and Editing must be complete Next Class, we will read other students persuasive essays and mark them using the rubric

10. Lesson 4b – Revision & Edit Essential Question How can I revise and edit my persuasive essay? Students will: -Look at the rubric -Read other students work Success Criteria I can find tips from others persuasive essays to use in mine

11. Rubric Let’s check out the rubric – Organized the same way as previous ones, but directed specifically for persuasive essays

12. Did I do it Correctly? You will go around and look at 6 other student’s drafts – Students will mark other students work – Student 1 – Ideas ONLY – Student 2 – Organization ONLY – Student 3 – Voice – Student 4 – Word Choice – Student 5 – Sentence Fluency – Student 6 - Conventions

13. My Persuasive Essay What did I get on the rubric? – What did students like about my essay? – What do I need to improve for Monday? – What ideas could I steal from other students work?