1. Working With Parents Michelle S. Alkon Adult Services, AANE michelle.alkon@aane.org 617.393.3824 ext. 25 DDS Autism Training January 28 2016

2. Agenda: Working with Parents 4 stories Appropriate Advocate or Helicopter Parent Parents in the Process Tips for Parents ©Asperger/Autism Network

3. Sheldon grows up 3 ©Asperger/Autism Network

4. 4 stories 4 ©Asperger/Autism Network

5. Appropriate Advocate or Helicopter Parent Is the adult self-aware? Can the adult self-advocate? Is the adult socially competent? 5 ©Asperger/Autism Network

6. Appropriate Advocate or Helicopter Parent Role of parent of child or teen is different than role of parent of adult Transition is hard on everybody 6 ©Asperger/Autism Network

7. Appropriate Advocate or Helicopter Parent Client skills Over-parenting Mis-aligned expectations Parental Anxiety Extraneous Circumstances 7 ©Asperger/Autism Network

8. Appropriate Advocate or Helicopter Parent 8 Self-Awareness and Self-Advocacy ©Asperger/Autism Network

9. Self-Awareness and Self-Advocacy Successful adults are able to understand the issues that are problematic for themselves and to respond appropriately. Parents need to help their transitioning adults to understand the nature of their challenges and the kinds of supports that they require. 9 Appropriate Advocate or Helicopter Parent ©Asperger/Autism Network

10. Parents in the Process Listen to the parent Explain your role Do your homework Agree on success 10 The Right Start ©Asperger/Autism Network

11. Parents in the Process Respecting the Adult Once he is over 18 he is technically an adult. Consult with the individual on preferences and perspectives. 11 ©Asperger/Autism Network

12. Parents in the Process Yes Does Not Mean Yes “I really want you to like me” “Make it stop” 12 ©Asperger/Autism Network

13. Parents in the Process “I didn’t think of that myself” “I’ll think about it” No Does Not Mean No I am processing more slowly than you are” 13 ©Asperger/Autism Network

14. Parents in the Process Measuring Success Look for Forward Movement 14 ©Asperger/Autism Network

15. Tips for Parents Working with Agencies Parents should… Set Reasonable Expectations Prepare the client to be the client Clarify their role in the process Preview/Practice Incentivize 15 ©Asperger/Autism Network

16. Tips for Parents Working with Agencies Parents should… Provide:  Information  Context  Background  Feedback Respect the Adult Confer with AANE 16 ©Asperger/Autism Network

17. Resources Webinar: Holding on and Letting Go: https://vimeo.com/ondemand/21655/11 8722260 https://vimeo.com/ondemand/21655/11 8722260

18. About AANE 18 The Asperger/Autism Network (AANE) works with individuals, families, and professionals to help people with Asperger Syndrome and similar autism spectrum profiles build meaningful, connected lives. We do this by providing information, education, community, support, and advocacy, all in an atmosphere of validation and respect. AANE provides support and community to: Adults and their families Families of children and teens Educators and professionals Diverse leadership includes adults, family members and professionals Advocate for appropriate quality services for people with AS profiles.