1. Bristow Run Elementary School Presented by Amy Cunningham and Robin Vaneman, School Counselors Nonnie King, BRES Parent

2. Building a Happy Healthy Family…In a Stressful World What words would you use to describe your family/life at home? What words do you wish described your family/life at home? What is your “vision” for your family and each of its members?

3. Workshop Goals Introduce/Review Love and Logic philosophy of parenting. Introduce The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families book. Learn ways to strengthen your family relationships, improve communication, and create a happy, healthy family environment. Learn about helpful resources to help reach your goals for your family.

4. 4 Principles of 1. Shared Control 2. Shared Thinking and Decision-Making 3. Equal Shares of Consequences and Empathy 4. Maintaining the Child’s Self-Concept

5. 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families “You’re going to be off track 90% of the time…so what?” “The Key is in having a destination, a flight plan, and a compass.” “The jet stream has changed-dramatically. And to “go with the flow” today is family-fatal!”

6. Habit #1 – Be Proactive STIMULUS “Freedom To Choose” RESPONSE Create a PAUSE Button

7. Habit #1 – Be Proactive Love Is a Verb Focus on “Circle of Influence, Not Circle of Concern” A Little Kindness Goes A Long Way People Need 12 Hugs a Day – Hugs come physically, verbally, visually, and environmentally

8. Habit #1 – Be Proactive 3 Ways to Be Proactive: Apologize Make and Keep Promises Forgive

9. Habit #2 – Begin with the End in Mind Creating a Family Mission Statement “For the most part, families don’t have the kind of mission statement so critical to organizational success. Yet family is the most important, fundamental organization in the world.”

10. Habit #2 – Begin with the End in Mind Step 1: Explore What Your Family Is All About The process is as important as the product! Step 2: Write Family Mission Statement It doesn’t have to be a long formal document. Step 3: Use It to Stay on Track CAUTION: Don’t Announce It, Rush It, or Ignore It

11. Habit #3 – Put First Things First Family Must Be The Priority Rock Analogy – You can’t fit the big ones into a container if it’s already full of the small stuff. “To those who would say “We don’t have time to do these things!” I would say, “You don’t have time not to!” The key is to plan ahead and be strong.”

12. Habit #3 – Put First Things First What was the culture in the home 40 to 50 years ago? What is the culture in your home today? Who is raising today’s children?

13. Habit #3 – Put First Things First Weekly Family Time – Mission Statement in Action Includes – Planning Teaching Problem Solving Fun One-on-One Bonding Times

14. Habit #4 – Think Win-Win “ You’re right. You’re bigger. You’re stronger. And it seems so much easier to go for “win-lose.” Let Agreement Govern – Natural and Logical Consequences – THINK BIG PICTURE You can let them win in the little things and try to problem solve together over the big things as much as possible.

15. Habit #5 – Seek First to Understand…Then to be Understood EMPATHYEMPATHYEMPATHY Know what constitutes a deposit into someone else’s “account.” “Most mistakes with family members are not the result of bad intent. It’s just that we really don’t understand. We don’t see clearly into one another’s hearts.”

16. Habit #5 – Seek First to Understand…Then to be Understood 5 Empathetic Listening (Within the other’s frame of reference) 4 Attentive Listening 3 Selective Listening 2 Pretend Listening 1Ignoring (Within one’s own frame of reference)

17. Habit #6 - Synergize “Synergy is not just teamwork or cooperation. Synergy is creative teamwork, creative cooperation. Something new is created that was not there before.” “The key to your family culture is how you treat the child that tests you the most.” “ Once you realize that each problem is asking for a response instead of just triggering a reaction, you start to learn. You become a learning family.”

18. Habit # 7 – Sharpening the Saw PhysicalSocial/EmotionalMentalSpiritual

19. Tools You Can Use The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen Covey The 7 Habits of Happy Kids by Sean Covey Parenting with Love and Logic by Jim Fay and Foster Cline The Bristow Run Agenda – contains weekly tips and stories to discuss with your child based on The 7 Habits