1. BREVITY “Long sentences are not necessarily wordy nor are short sentences always concise. A sentence is wordy if it can be tightened without loss of meaning.”

2. BREVITY It seems to me that it doesn’t make sense to allow any bail to be granted to anyone who has ever been convicted of a violent crime. Bail should not be granted to anyone who has ever been convicted of a violent crime.

3. Eliminate redundancies When a more concise version is possible, choose it. Ex: Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center working as a registered physical therapist. Our fifth patient, in room six, is a mentally-ill patient. The best teachers help each student to become a better student both academically and emotionally.

4. Cut empty or inflated phrases (deadwood) In my opinion, I think that, it seems that, one must admit that… Ex: In my opinion, our current immigration policy is misguided. It seems that The Passion of the Christ is one of Gibson’s best works.

5. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was considered to be a great center. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was considered a great center.

6. Simplify the sentence  If the structure of the sentence is needlessly indirect, try simplifying it. Look for opportunities to strengthen the verb. Ex: The financial analyst claimed that because of volatile market condition she could not make an estimate of the company’s future profits.

7.  Estimates vs. make an estimate of  Is, are, was, were generate excess words There is and there are (there was and there were) can also generate excess words, same is true for constructions beginning with them. Ex: There is another module that tells the story of Charles Darwin and introduces the theory of evolution. Ex. It is important that hikers remain inside park boundaries.

8. There were many factors that influenced his decision to become a priest. Many factors influenced his decision to be a priest.

9. Condense clauses beginning with which, that, or who into fewer words. Avoid: The building, which was 28 stories, collapsed during the earthquake that struck last week. Better: The 28-story building collapsed during last week’s earthquake.

10. Shoppers who are looking for bargains often patronize outlets. Shoppers looking for bargains often patronize outlets.

11. The office which was at the heart of the city had the most clients. The office at the heart of the city had the most clients.

12. Avoid circumlocution Circumlocution is the roundabout way to say something. The experience that changed Andy most would have to be the hunting trip. The experience that changed Andy most was the hunting trip.

13. The curriculum was of a unique nature. It is not unlikely that the trend toward smaller cars will continue. The curriculum was unique. The trend toward smaller cars will probably continue.

14. Eliminate Trite Language Enclosed please find your new CD-ROM player. Your new CD-ROM player is enclosed. Please write us. The replacement parts will be sent separately. The replacement parts will be sent under separate cover. We would be favored with a written reply.

15. Thanking you for your order, I remain. Sincerely yours, Thank you for your order. Sincerely yours, Expecting your check soon, I remain. Please send us your check promptly. Looking forward to meeting you, I am… I look forward to meeting you.

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