1. Love The Way You Lie: Supporting Teens in Developing Healthy Relationships June 10, 2011 Mardi Chadwick, JD Director, Passageway at Brigham and Women’s Hospital Marlenny Ramdehal, Advocate, Passageway at Brigham and Women’s Hospital

2. Prevalence of Abuse 1 in 3 adolescent girls in the US is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner. 1 in 3 adolescent girls in the US is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner. Women age 20 to 24 are at the greatest risk of experiencing nonfatal IPV as well as have the highest rates of rape and sexual assault, followed by those 16 to 19. Women age 20 to 24 are at the greatest risk of experiencing nonfatal IPV as well as have the highest rates of rape and sexual assault, followed by those 16 to 19. People age 18 and 19 experience the highest rates of stalking. 3 People age 18 and 19 experience the highest rates of stalking. 3 1 in 5 tweens – age 11 to 14 – say their friends are victims of dating violence and nearly half who are in relationships know friends who are verbally abused. 4 1 in 5 tweens – age 11 to 14 – say their friends are victims of dating violence and nearly half who are in relationships know friends who are verbally abused. 4 2 in 5 of the youngest tweens, ages 11 and 12, report that their friends are victims of verbal abuse in relationships. 4 2 in 5 of the youngest tweens, ages 11 and 12, report that their friends are victims of verbal abuse in relationships. 4 1 in 4 teens in a relationship say they have been called names, harassed or put down by their partner through cellphones and texting. 5

3. Why Higher Rates for this Group? More likely too: Use of threats or violence to solve problems- normalization through community, media, society Alcohol or drug use Social isolation: many teens do not report it because they are afraid to tell friends and family Difficulty managing anger or frustration Witnessing abuse at home Developmental considerations: negotiating boundaries, coping with stressful adult situations

4. Consequences of Teen Dating Violence for Adolescents Consequences of Teen Dating Violence for Adolescents Poor school performance Poor school performance Smoking Smoking Drug use Drug use Engage in unhealthy diet behaviors (taking diet pills or laxatives and vomiting to lose weight) Engage in unhealthy diet behaviors (taking diet pills or laxatives and vomiting to lose weight) Engage in risky sexual behaviors Engage in risky sexual behaviors Attempt or consider suicide Attempt or consider suicide Pregnancy STD diagnosis

5. What is Domestic Violence Physical Abuse Emotional abuse Cyber bullying Financial abuse Name Calling

6. What is Domestic Violence Dynamics of Domestic Violence Coercion Power and Control Cycle of Violence Pattern of behaviors over period of time

7. Cycle of Violence Honeymoon stage Calm Tension Building Incident

8. Kids and the Media Love the Way You Lie Love the Way You Lie Love the Way You Lie Love the Way You Lie Just the Way You Are Just the Way You Are Just the Way You Are Just the Way You Are Rhianna and Britney Rhianna and Britney Rhianna and Britney Rhianna and Britney

9. How to Talk to Teens 1. Start early. 2. Initiate conversations. 3. Even about sex and sexuality. 4. Create an open environment. 5. Communicate your own values. 6. Listen to what they say. 7. Try to be honest. 8. Be patient. 9. Use everyday opportunities to talk. 10. Talk about it again. And, again.

10. Talking to Teens How do you talk to teens about “tough” issues? Do you? How do you talk to teens about “tough” issues? Do you? What are some natural starting points for dialogue between you and the teen? What are some natural starting points for dialogue between you and the teen? Think about a plan to engage with the teen and the important information you want them to have. Think about a plan to engage with the teen and the important information you want them to have. What’s your first step? What’s your first step?

11. Web resources http://www.loveisrespect.org/ http://www.loveisrespect.org/ http://www.loveisrespect.org/ http://www.athinline.org/ http://www.athinline.org/ http://www.athinline.org/ http://www.seeitandstopit.org/pages/ http://www.seeitandstopit.org/pages/ http://www.seeitandstopit.org/pages/ http://www.thesafespace.org/ http://www.thesafespace.org/ http://www.thesafespace.org/ http://www.thatsnotcool.com/ http://www.thatsnotcool.com/ http://www.thatsnotcool.com/ http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/ http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/ http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/ http://www.reachma.org/pavenet/ http://www.reachma.org/pavenet/ http://www.reachma.org/pavenet/ http://www.breakthecycle.org/ http://www.breakthecycle.org/ http://www.breakthecycle.org/