1. Revising Frankenstein’s Hero Journey

2. The good news: O Students used quotes from the text to support their analysis. O The quotes were good. Most people worked really hard to find the RIGHT quote. O Almost everyone tried to get a good hook. O Students organized their essays as essays should be organized (mostly). O Nearly everyone used in-text citations for their quotes.

3. The bad news: O Lots of quotes were just “dropped in” and not explained. O Quotes and steps are not explained. You need to make each step clear to the reader. Your essays sound like lists in paragraph form. O NO ONE connected back to the hero journey or the quest successfully in the essay. O Tone needs to be fixed in some essays. You need a scholarly tone. No use of pronouns.

4. So? What now? O Revise!!! Learn from your mistakes and fix them.

5. Purpose and Audience O If you scored a 2 or 4– Your thesis and introduction are weak. Your don’t connect to the hero journey or the quest throughout your essay. O If you scored a 6—Your thesis was strong, but you need to connect to the hero journey or the quest throughout the essay.

6. Idea Development O If you have a 2—You give very little information about each step of the hero journey. O If you have a 4—You give some information about the hero journey, but you don’t explain how your answer connects to the quote or the step in the hero journey. O If you have a 6—You give good information on the hero journey, you explain your answer, but you don’t connect this step in the journey with the quest to SHOW how your hero is changing. O If you have a 7—You make connections in some paragraphs, but not all paragraphs.

7. Structure O If you have a 2—Your structure is inappropriate for an essay. You may have faulty citations as well. O If you have a 4—Your transitions do not help the reader as they go through your paper. You don’t make connections between ideas. O If you have a 6—You have transitions, but it’s not always clear why the ideas go together. Connect back to the quest to help make this happen.

8. Language and Conventions O If you have a 2—Your language is not appropriate for a scholarly essay. Your tone is too conversational or uses inappropriate words. O If you have a 4—Your language has places where it is inappropriate, and this takes away from seeing you as a scholar. O If you have a 6—You need to use more specific and precise words to convey your ideas. You may have grammar mistakes that need to be addressed.

9. Idea Development If you have a 4: You need to explain yourself in your paragraphs. You need to show the reader WHY you know this example from Frankenstein fits with this point in the Hero Journey. If you have a 5: You need to explain HOW your quote shows proves that this example fits with the Hero Journey. If you have a 6: You need to connect HOW this step in the Hero Journey leads Victor or the Monster down the path to being a hero—transformation. In order to make it to an A, you must connect each step back to Joseph Campbell’s definition of a hero.

10. Reading/Research O If you have a 4: You probably didn’t cite or quote the hero notes. You just wrote what you know as if they were your ideas. O If you have a 5: You have good quotes, but they may be too long, or your quotes are inconsistent. O If you have a 6: You cannot get an A in this category unless you can show a seamless transition between your quotes and your words. As are reserved for those whose quotes are impeccable. Both the quotes from the Hero Journey notes and Frankenstein should be the BEST quotes available.

11. Conventions O If you have a 4: You likely were inconsistent citing sources, used tone that wasn’t scholarly, or had repeated the same sorts of punctuation errors again and again. You may have even done all three. O If you have a 5: You probably did one of the three things above. O If you have a 6: You did most things right, but to get the A you need to show that you can use all kinds of sentences and commit VERY few errors. To get the A, your citations need to be PERFECT.

12. Content Understanding O If you have a 4: You briefly noted the step in the hero journey, but you didn’t show a strong understanding of the steps. O If you have a 5: You add some details to the steps, but you may be inconsistent overall. O If you have a 6: To get the A in this category, you need to know the journey, be able to thoroughly explain each step, and show how each step changes the character into a hero.

13. Focus, Controlling Idea, and Organization O To get to an A in these categories, you need to continually support your very strong thesis. Each step in the journey would show how it’s Victor or the Creature who is clearly the hero. O An A in these categories happens when all the other categories are stellar. Because only through thorough idea development will readers see the connections in your focus and controlling idea. O Your transitions would be subtle. You wouldn’t use things like “the next step in the Hero Journey.”

14. Example Revision O As Frankenstein becomes disillusioned and sick, his childhood friend, Henry Clerval, becomes his caretaker and nurse. He is with Victor everyday until he reaches a stable condition. By this action, Henry is the “goddess” in this story’s Hero Journey. The “goddess” shows the hero unconditional care and love, nurturing him to help him in his quest. On page 60, Shelley writes, “[Clerval] knew that I could not have a more kind an attentive nurse than himself..” This meeting with the goddess is a stage of the initiation part of the Hero Journey. O How does this paragraph/step connect to the last one? O Where are we in the story? Where is the context? O How does the quote show that Clerval cares for Victor? O How does Clerval caring for Victor help him on his quest? O How should this quote be cited? O Is this quote embedded or dropped in?

15. Example revision According to Campbell, the Belly of the Whale is the point of no return. For the Creature, this is the point where he has been disappointed so many times that he turns to evil. When the Creature kills William, it is just the first of many deaths caused by the creature. “William is dead—that sweet child whose smiles delighted and warmed my heart... Victor, he is murdered” (Shelley 143). These are the words of Victor’s father, in the letter informing Victor of his brother’s death. The creature has murdered an innocent child in an attempt to avenge himself against Victor. It is significant that William is basically the opposite of the creature in every way. The monster is jealous. The creature then places the locket in Justine’s pocket, which causes Justine to be executed as William’s murderer. This shows that the creature has snapped under the weight of his own isolation. He has given up ever connecting with Victor or any other human in a positive way. O Where is the transition from the previous paragraph? O Where do you explain what this stage is supposed to look like? O How does this quote show that there’s no going back? O You say it is significant that William is the opposite of the creature, but you don’t explain the significance. O What does the locket have to do with anything? O The last two sentences are GREAT, but they should be the focus of the paragraph, not the end. O Get rid of things like “these are the words…” “this shows…” and inappropriate tone like “is basically “