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HISTORY ESSAYS SAMPLE
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WHAT IS THE QUESTION? Question: To what extent did the Qin contribute to the creation of the Han Golden Age? A lot Some Very Little Why?
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THESIS PARAGRAPH During the Han Golden Age, China enjoyed a period of prosperity and innovation. The foundation of this Golden Age was established when the Qin united China under a strong central government. By establishing an effective bureaucracy, the Qin built new roads and established uniform weights and measures, all advancements that promoted trade and innovation. However, the Qin erred in being too harsh with the people. It was therefore the Han’s rejection of Legalism and adoption of the more responsive Confucianism that allowed China to truly flourish. Thus, while the Qin laid the foundation for the Han Golden Age by uniting and standardizing China, the Golden Age did not begin until the Han changed the government’s focus from control to tolerance.
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THESIS PARAGRAPH BACKGROUND During the Han Golden Age, China enjoyed a period of prosperity and innovation. The foundation of this Golden Age was established when the Qin united China under a strong central government. By establishing an effective bureaucracy, the Qin built new roads and established uniform weights and measures, all advancements that promoted trade and innovation. However, the Qin erred in being too harsh with the people. It was therefore the Han’s rejection of Legalism and adoption of the more responsive Confucianism that allowed China to truly flourish. Thus, while the Qin laid the foundation for the Han Golden Age by uniting and standardizing China, the Golden Age did not begin until the Han changed the government’s focus from control to tolerance.
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THESIS PARAGRAPH THESIS STATEMENT During the Han Golden Age, China enjoyed a period of prosperity and innovation. The foundation of this Golden Age was established when the Qin united China under a strong central government. By establishing an effective bureaucracy, the Qin built new roads and established uniform weights and measures, all advancements that promoted trade and innovation. However, the Qin erred in being too harsh with the people. It was therefore the Han’s rejection of Legalism and adoption of the more responsive Confucianism that allowed China to truly flourish. Thus, while the Qin laid the foundation for the Han Golden Age by uniting and standardizing China, the Golden Age did not begin until the Han changed the government’s focus from control to tolerance.
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THESIS PARAGRAPH ESSAY MAP During the Han Golden Age, China enjoyed a period of prosperity and innovation. The foundation of this Golden Age was established when the Qin united China under a strong central government. By establishing an effective bureaucracy, the Qin built new roads and established uniform weights and measures, all advancements that promoted trade and innovation. However, the Qin erred in being too harsh with the people. It was therefore the Han’s rejection of Legalism and adoption of the more responsive Confucianism that allowed China to truly flourish. Thus, while the Qin laid the foundation for the Han Golden Age by uniting and standardizing China, the Golden Age did not begin until the Han changed the government’s focus from control to tolerance.
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BODY PARAGRAPHS TOPIC SENTENCES During the Han Golden Age, China enjoyed a period of prosperity and innovation. The foundation of this Golden Age was established when the Qin united China under a strong central government. By establishing an effective bureaucracy, the Qin built new roads and established uniform weights and measures, all advancements that promoted trade and innovation. However, the Qin erred in being too harsh with the people. It was therefore the Han’s rejection of Legalism and adoption of the more responsive Confucianism that allowed China to truly flourish. Thus, while the Qin laid the foundation for the Han Golden Age by uniting and standardizing China, the Golden Age did not begin until the Han changed the government’s focus from control to tolerance. Before China could flourish, the Qin needed to defeat the feudal lords and create a strong central government. Once unified, the Qin established an effective bureaucracy that facilitated trade through the construction of roads and standardization of weights and measurements. Despite the Qin’s achievements, innovation did not take off until the Han replaced the Qin’s oppressive Legalist policies with Confucianism.
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BODY PARAGRAPHS TOPIC SENTENCES During the Han Golden Age, China enjoyed a period of prosperity and innovation. The foundation of this Golden Age was established when the Qin united China under a strong central government. By establishing an effective bureaucracy, the Qin built new roads and established uniform weights and measures, all advancements that promoted trade and innovation. However, the Qin erred in being too harsh with the people. It was therefore the Han’s rejection of Legalism and adoption of the more humane Confucianism that allowed China to truly flourish. Thus, while the Qin laid the foundation for the Han Golden Age by uniting and standardizing China, the Golden Age did not begin until the Han changed the government’s focus from control to tolerance. Before China could flourish, the Qin needed to defeat the feudal lords and create a strong central government. Once unified, the Qin established an effective bureaucracy that facilitated trade through the construction of roads and standardization of weights and measurements. Despite the Qin’s achievements, innovation did not take off until the Han replaced the Qin’s oppressive Legalist policies with Confucianism.
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BODY PARAGRAPHS TOPIC SENTENCES During the Han Golden Age, China enjoyed a period of prosperity and innovation. The foundation of this Golden Age was established when the Qin united China under a strong central government. By establishing an effective bureaucracy, the Qin built new roads and established uniform weights and measures, all advancements that promoted trade and innovation. However, the Qin erred in being too harsh with the people. It was therefore the Han’s rejection of Legalism and adoption of the more humane Confucianism that allowed China to truly flourish. Thus, while the Qin laid the foundation for the Han Golden Age by uniting and standardizing China, the Golden Age did not begin until the Han changed the government’s focus from control to tolerance. Before China could flourish, the Qin needed to defeat the feudal lords and create a strong central government. Once unified, the Qin established an effective bureaucracy that facilitated trade through the construction of roads and standardization of weights and measurements. Despite the Qin’s achievements, innovation did not take off until the Han replaced the Qin’s oppressive Legalist policies with Confucianism.
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REVIEW DO PARTS REINFORCE WHOLE? THESIS STATEMENT Thus, while the Qin laid the foundation for the Han Golden Age by uniting and standardizing China, the Golden Age did not begin until the Han changed the government’s focus from control to tolerance. Qin united and standardized China Before China could flourish, the Qin needed to defeat the feudal lords and create a strong central government. Once unified, the Qin established an effective bureaucracy that facilitated trade through the construction of roads and standardization of weights and measurements. Han modified the Qin’s central government Despite the Qin’s achievements, innovation did not take off until the Han replaced the Qin’s oppressive Legalist policies with Confucianism.
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BODY PARAGRAPH SUPPORTING EVIDENCE Intro 1: Before China could flourish, the Qin needed to defeat the feudal lords and create a strong central government. Fact 1: Warring States Period – with the collapse of the Zhou Dynasty in 256 B.C.E., regional feudal lords began competing with each other for power and control. As a result of the violence, prosperity and innovation declined. Fact 2: In 221 B.C.E. Zheng defeats regional feudal lords and declares himself Shi Huangdi, first emperor and leader of the Qin dynasty. As a result, China is once again unified under one leader.
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BODY PARAGRAPHS COMPLETE PARAGRAPH Before China could flourish, the Qin needed to defeat the feudal lords and create a strong central government. Prior to the Qin, China was ruled by numerous feudal lords who constantly fought with each other for power and control. Named the Warring States Period, violence was prevalent and prosperity and innovation suffered. Then, in 221 B.C.E., a feudal lord named Zheng defeated his rivals and named himself Shi Huangdi, first emperor and leader of the Qin Dynasty. As a result, China was united under the Qin.
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BODY PARAGRAPH SUPPORTING EVIDENCE Intro 2: Once unified, the Qin established an effective bureaucracy that facilitated trade through the construction of roads and standardization of weights and measurements. Fact 1: Created 36 military districts, each led by an official appointed by Shi Huangdi and expected to follow his policies and commands. Fact 2: Standardized weights, measurements and coins, facilitating commerce throughout the empire. Fact 3: Builds many roads and canals, thereby lowering transportation costs and increasing trade.
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BODY PARAGRAPHS COMPLETE PARAGRAPH Once unified, the Qin established an effective bureaucracy that facilitated trade through the construction of roads and standardization of weights and measurements. The bureaucracy was centered on 36 military districts, each led by an official appointed by and loyal to Shi Huangdi. As a result, the emperor’s decisions were uniformly executed throughout the empire. Significant policies included the standardization of weights, measurements and coins, which made it much easier for merchants to trade or sell goods throughout the empire. In addition, the Qin built many roads and canals, thereby lowering transportation costs and increasing trade.
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BODY PARAGRAPH SUPPORTING EVIDENCE Intro 3: Despite the Qin’s achievements, innovation did not take off until the Han replaced the Qin’s oppressive Legalist policies with Confucianism. Fact 1: Legalism believes that people are fundamentally evil and must therefore be ruled by a strong and all-powerful leader. Shi Huangdi therefore imposed harsh laws with strict punishments. As a result, people were not allowed to innovate. Fact 2: Roads and canals paid for with heavy taxes. Fact 3: Gao Zu led a peasant revolt against the Qin after Shi Huangdi’s death in 210 B.C.E. The revolt was against the Qin’s harsh policies. Fact 4: Goa Zu established the Han Dynasty. Fact 5: The Han ended Legalist policies and reintroduced Confucianism. Fact 6: During the Han, the economy improved dramatically.
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BODY PARAGRAPHS COMPLETE PARAGRAPH Despite the Qin’s achievements, innovation did not take off until the Han replaced the Qin’s oppressive Legalist policies with Confucianism. Under the Qin, the government controlled the people with harsh laws and strict punishments. While this Legalist approach allowed the Qin to force standardization, it also limited innovation. In addition, roads and other major projects were financed with heavy taxes. As a result, the people became resentful and rebelled under the leadership of Gao Zu. After toppling the Qin, Goa Zu established the Han Dynasty and reintroduced Confucianism. As laws became more lenient and focused on making the government more responsive to the people’s needs, the economy improved dramatically and a golden age began.
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CONCLUSION While much of the credit for the Han Golden Age is given to the Han’s reintroduction of Confucianism, this interpretation of events ignores the Qin’s significant contributions. Prior to the Qin, China was a heterogeneous collection of competing governments with incompatible infrastructures. Through harsh rule, the Qin pulled China together. However, their strict approach prevented the start of a true golden age. The Han Golden Age was therefore the product of both dynasties; the Qin’s efforts to unify and standardize the empire and the Han’s desire to make these changes beneficial to all, not just the emperor.
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