1. 3 Strategies for Revision: Coherence, Cohesion, & Clarity

2. 3 Strategies; 3 stages of revision 1.Revise for Coherence (between paragraphs) 2. Revise for Cohesion (between sentences in a paragraph) 3. Revise for Clarity (within sentences)

3. What is “Coherence” again?

4. Coherence means that every thing “fits” together, harmoniously, in your document. Creative Commons Image

5. What is “cohesion” ?

6. “Think of cohesion as pairs of sentences fitting together in the way two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle do.” --Joseph Williams, Style and Clarity Creative Commons Image “UC Davis has more than doubled the size of its pool of international applicants in less than two years. A record 9,413 foreign students have applied for freshman status—up 130 percent from two years ago. That growth will be fueled by adding more international and out-of-state students…” (Golden, Corey. “UCD Applicants Span the Globe,” Davis Enterprise 1/19/2014)

7. “Think of cohesion as pairs of sentences fitting together in the way two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle do.” --Joseph Williams, Style and Clarity “UC Davis has more than doubled the size of its pool of international applicants in less than two years. A record 9,413 foreign students have applied for freshman status—up 130 percent from two years ago. That growth will be fueled by adding more international and out-of-state students…” (Golden, Corey. “UCD Applicants Span the Globe,” Davis Enterprise 1/19/2014)

8. “Think of cohesion as pairs of sentences fitting together in the way two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle do.” “Think of coherence as seeing what all the sentences in a piece of writing add up to, the way all the pieces in a puzzle add up to the picture on the box.” --Joseph Williams, Style and Clarity Creative Commons Image

9. How can I do anything about either?

10. TOPICS & TOPIC SENTENCES Use clear, consistent topics to guide your reader. Topics tell readers not only what a particular sentence is about, but can preview the passsage/section that follows will be about with a topic sentence. What’s the difference between a topic sentence and a topic?

11. A topic sentence: leads a paragraph connects ideas between paragraphs “Topics” lead sentences within a paragraph connect ideas between sentences in a paragraph

12. Grammar Point and 3 rd Strategy: Clarity “Characters” perform “actions” Who did what (to whom)? Subjects have verbs. Nouns are topics. The angry father kicked the dog.

13. Grammar Point and 3 rd Strategy: Clarity Try to align characters as subjects, which are topics in their sentences. “Characters” perform “actions.” Grammatical subjects have verbs. Topics are usually nouns. The angry father kicked the dog.

14. “The Internet is supposed to be a color- blind medium.”

17. “The Internet is supposed to be a color- blind medium. There are no races, no genders, no rich or poor there.

18. OLD INFO + NEW INFO 1 + New info 2 OLD INFO OLD INFO = NEW INFO 1 Sentence Cohesion with Topics

19. “The Internet is supposed to be a color- blind medium. There are no races, no genders, no rich or poor there. Internet culture promised to liberate the people who used it. And it has.

21. The only problem is, most people who use it are white, middle class, and well educated.

22. “The Internet is supposed to be a color- blind medium. There are no races, no genders, no rich or poor there. Internet culture promised to liberate the people who used it. And it has. The only problem is, most people who use it are white, middle class, and well educated.

23. What is the topic of this paragraph? Assets are economic resources that contain value and are owned and used by the firm. Cash, short-term investments, receivables, inventory, and pre-paid expenses all fall under the category of assets. The most liquid asset, or the one that can be converted through an action, is cash. On the other hand, long-term assets, such as real estate, are less capable to sell as fast, and that is why they are classified as less liquid.

24. What is the topic of this paragraph? Assets are economic resources that contain value and are owned and used by the firm. Cash, short-term investments, receivables, inventory, and pre-paid expenses all fall under the category of assets. The most liquid asset, or the one that can be converted through an action, is cash. On the other hand, long-term assets, such as real estate, are less capable to sell as fast, and that is why they are classified as less liquid.

26. The particular ideas toward the beginning of sentences defines what a passage is centrally “about” for a reader, so a sense of coherence crucially depends on topics. Moving through a paragraph from a cumulatively coherent point of view is made possible by a sequence of topics that seem to constitute this coherent sequence of topicalized ideas. A seeming absence of context for each sentence is one consequence of making random shifts in topics. Feelings of disolcation, disorientation, and lack of focus will occur when that happens. A Scary Demonstration(topics highlighted in blue)

27. ?

28. Readers understand what a passage is generally about when they see consistent ideas toward the beginnings of sentences, especially in their subjects. They feel a passage is coherent when they read a sequence of topics that focuses on a narrow set of related ideas. But when topics seem to shift randomly, readers lose the context of each sentence. When that happens, they feel they are reading paragraphs that are unfocused and even disorganized. The particular ideas toward the beginning of sentences defines what a passage is centrally “about” for a reader, so a sense of coherence crucially depends on topics. Moving through a paragraph from a cumulatively coherent point of view is made possible by a sequence of topics that seem to constitute this coherent sequence of topicalized ideas. A seeming absence of context for each sentence is one consequence of making random shifts in topics. Feelings of disolcation, disorientation, and lack of focus will occur when that happens.

29. A few guidelines/reminders from professional writers: KNOW WHAT EACH PARAGRAPH IS ABOUT USE CONSISTENT TOPICS “SCAFFOLD” INFORMATION REMEMBER TRANSITIONS AVOID VAGUE LANGUAGE

30. To Revise for Coherence: Ask: What is each paragraph about? (restrict topics in paragraphs; divide and conquer) Ask: How does this paragraph relate to the next? Do I have transitions topic chains that make sense in linking words and ideas between paragraphs? To Revise for Cohesion: Use consistent topics across sentences in a paragraph. Underline the “subject” and the “characters,” count the # of words before the verb (not counting introductory clauses). Link old to new topics, that is “scaffold” across sentences; begin most sentences in a familiar place; end with the unfamiliar. Ask: how does this sentence relate to the next? Do I have topic chains for cohesion, between “puzzle pieces”; link words and ideas; scaffold between sentences in a paragraph.

31. 3 Strategies; 3 stages of revision 1.Revise for Coherence (between paragraphs) 2. Revise for Cohesion (between sentences in a paragraph) 3. Revise for Clarity (within sentences)

32. I need more help. Williams, Joseph. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace. ANY Edition. New York: Longman.