1. Communication Principles
from Verderber and Verderber Chapter 1

2. Communication is Predicated on the Past
We learn language
We learn rules of behavior
We all have our own “canned plans” of scripts we draw upon when confronted with specific situations.
Not all scripts we use are ideal BUT
We CAN learn new scripts.

3. Why do we communicate? To Share Meaning To meet Social Goals
To Manage our Personal Identity
Barnlund’s six selves
To conduct our relationships

4. Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication (Principles)
Interpersonal Communication is Continuous
It may not be intentional
Nonverbal communication is analogical
Verbal communication is digital (or discrete)
Interpersonal Communication is Transactional

5. Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication (Principles)
Interpersonal Communication is unavoidable, unrepeatable, and irreversible.
Interpersonal Communication is situated (contextual)
Interpersonal Communication is indexical
We measure our relationships at particular points in time. (Trust, Control, and Intimacy)
Meaning is in people, NOT words!

6. Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication (Principles)
Communication Contains both Content and Relationship Dimensions
Interpersonal Communication Messages Vary in Degree of Conscious Encoding
A. Ritualized communication:
Phatic (used to convey a pleasant social mood; Have a nice day!)
Daily Rituals
B. Technical communication
Communication is a Series of Punctuated Events.

7. Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication (Principles)
Communication Involves many Channels
A. Mass Media
B. Interpersonal Media
C. Mixed media
Communication varies in the level of Media Richness
Communication is Historical

8. What makes Social Media Different than Face to Face?
The temporal structure is different:
F2F communication happens in real time (synchronous)
It allows for asynchronous messages
The media lack many social cues of conversation
It’s less media rich in some ways.
Lean Rich
Bulk Mail Letters, Facebook Telephone Skype Face to Face
Posters Texting, Twitter

9. Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication (Principles)
*Interpersonal Communication often presents Ethical Challenges. Ethical communicators. . .
are Truthful and Honest?
have Integrity (or are consistent in their beliefs or actions)
are Fair
act with Respect to other points of view
are Responsible for their actions
demonstrate Empathy for others
The Dark Side also affects interpersonal communications.

10. Come to the Dark Side!
Dark Side messages occur when we fail to use appropriate or ethical behavior
We don’t always act ethically.
Q1: Why?
Q2: Should we always act ethically?
Q3: Are there consequences for doing so?
Q4: Do you use scripts (or canned responses)?

11. Strange Situations
Your brother spends a lot of money on his car, the problem is, he spends your mom’s money, not his own. He buys a new set of rims for the car and asks you if you like them, how do you respond?
Your best friend is in a verbally abusive relationship. Your friend’s partner constantly uses degrading language. Your friend tells you that they might move in together, what do you say?
Your friend Monica has a birthday coming up and asks you not to say anything to her husband about it because he forgot it the previous year and she wants to see if he remembers it.
Q1: Do you tell him anyway?
Q2: If you don’t and he forgets, what do you say to your friend about him?

12. Don’t go to the Dark Side!
Appropriate Inappropriate
Bright Side
Hard Dark Side
Unethical Ethical
Easy Dark Side
Evil Dark Side

13. Interpersonal Competence
Is a perception by others that your messages are both Effective AND Appropriate
Effective messages achieve the goals of the interaction (the instrumental purpose of the message)
Appropriate messages conform to the social, relational, and ethical expectations of behavior.

14. Generalized Personality Types
Concern for self Concern For Others
Steamroller
Aggressive Personality
Winning is Everything
(I win, you lose!)
Diplomat
Cooperative Personality
Relationships are important but so are personal needs
(I win, You win!)
Getting what you want
Ineffective Effective
Accommodative Personality
Relationships or more important the personal needs. (You win, I lose)
Doormat
Recluse
Abrasive Personality
I lose, therefore I will make sure you lose too!
Roadkill
Appropriateness of Communication Style

15. Ways to Improve Competency (this is the focus of the upcoming chapters)
Acquire Interpersonal Communication Knowledge
Work to increase your emotional intelligence (rhetorical sensitivity)
Increase Your Skills
Micro-skills sets include learned message templates with a specific interaction purpose.
Active vs. Critical listening
Paraphrasing (to verify understanding)
Praising
Describing behaviors
Describing feelings
Use these skill sets to develop or modify your skill scripts.

16. Ways to Improve Competency (this is the focus of the upcoming chapters)
Be Motivated to Demonstrate Competence
Understand the benefits to you AND others
Be willing to UNLEARN old/ineffective scripts and create new ones.
Develop Behavioral Flexibility
Develop Improvement Plans (Page 25)
State the problem
State the Goal
Outline a specific plan for reaching the goal
Identify how you will know you have reached the goal

17. Understanding Social Media and Interpersonal Communication
Social Media are those highly accessible technologies that facilitate communication and interaction
Do you agree with this definition?
We use digital communication to manage our personal identities.
Our “social network” consists of people we know and are connected by friendship, common interests, family ties, beliefs, or knowledge