2. FIGHTING WORDS n It is what you say u it triggers what they hear u it helps them set their minds

3. Habitual, Conditioned Responses n Gender -Men and women use language differently men cherish independence women cherish trust women cherish trust n Culture- each culture imprints different pictures for the same intangible words

4. Words translate into pictures n emotional responses n memories

5. Word Selection – “Languaging.” n There are choices between words in every situation. n Choosing words that communicate the “spirit” of your meaning is an art. n Being aware of the intrinsic meanings attached to each word helps one make better word choices.

6. The Word Exchange n The following words and their less emotional counterparts are offered for your consideration. n Read the headline word and consider the reactions each engenders. n Then consider learning to replace that word with one or more of the alternatives.

7. Always n sometimes n often

8. Wrong n not what I would do n different

9. Bad n uncomfortable n interesting

10. Hate n don't understand n do not enjoy

11. Should have n Next time

12. Stupid n interesting n different

13. This is how it is n What if we?

14. The problem is n Here's what we could do n As I see it

15. Listen to me! n Consider this, Please

16. You Said n I heard n I think you said n Did you say?

17. No! n Oh. n Oh. no thank you. n Have n Have you considered? n Thanks n Thanks for thinking of me and …….. n Not n Not at this time. Thank you.

18. Yes, BUT n Please n Please consider n No n No thank you n NO, n NO, I don't think so.

19. But n And

20. Don't let me catch you State what you want to happen

21. You never n seldom do you

22. Problem n Opportunity n Challenge n Situation

23. Can't n Won't n Can't YET

24. Try n Depend on it!

25. They said n Be specific

26. You! n Human Beings n Many people n I have been known too

27. We'll see n Yes n No n I am not sure

28. Later n Pick the time

29. We tried that already n Last time we learned....

30. It’s too complicated n n We need to break this down to simpler tasks

31. It will never work n We ‘re the only ones who could possibly make this work.

32. I can not get to it right now! n We are on the same team and I promise I am doing everything I can to get to you

33. Why did you n What reaction were you expecting when you

34. Bored n Make different choices

35. Should n Next time

36. Don’t n People can’t don’t do tell them what you want to have happen not what you DON’T want to happen.

37. Failing n F –finding n A –an n I – important n L –lesson n I –inviting n N-needed n G-growth

38. Languaging IS a choice n Use your words to maximize your effectiveness. n Remember it takes a 21 days to make or break a habit and changing your word pattern will not occur overnight. n But you can do it!!! Good luck.