1. SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS

2. DEFINITIONS  Human Sexuality — Every aspect of being male and being female. This includes gender roles, physiological and psychological differences, reproduction, intimacy, sexual behaviour and healthy sexuality.  Sexual Well-Being — Feeling happy and well about one’s sexual choices. Being physically healthy and free from the negative consequences of sexual behaviour.

3.  Intimacy — A close, familiar and affectionate personal relationship, established through sharing, openness and self-disclosure.  Does intimacy mean sex?  Is sex a very intimate act?  Commitment — To give in trust an obligation, assurance, or binding promise.  What is the relationship between intimacy and commitment?

4. WHY TEENS HAVE SEX?  Peer Pressure  Popularity  Partner Pressure  Feel Normal I Feel “with it”  Have someone to love / Prove their love  Feel loveable / Feel worthwhile, wanted  Statement against parents

5.  Rite of passage  Make relationship better  Keep or hold on to a partner  Feel grown up  Satisfy curiosity  Seems right  Feels good physically

6. WHY TEENS SAY NO TO SEX  No pregnancy  No disease (STD’s/STI’s)  Each day in the USA, 4219 teenagers contract an STD, 1106 teenage girls abort their babies, 6 teens commit suicide  No infections (infertility, cervical cancer)  No “bad” reputation  No worry  No guilt (going against values, beliefs)  Chance to grow up  Get to know partner

7.  Build relationship I Test the relationship  So sex can be special  Don’t have to worry about “getting caught”  Don’t have to worry about hiding it from parents  Don’t have to worry about “doing it right”  Premature sex can result in sexual dysfunction in adult life  Don’t have to deal with commitments that you may not be ready for

8. COMMITMENT IN AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP  Dr. Sol Gordon, a nationally known sex-educator, has defined what he considers to be nine important aspects of an intimate relationship: 1. First is showing that you care for the other person. This means being there when you’re needed and wanting to do things that will make your partner happy. 2. A sense of humour is next in importance. Laughter gives us a better perspective on ourselves and can help smooth out the difficult times in any relationship.

9. 3. Dr. Gordon considers communication to be the third most important aspect of intimacy. Being able to talk to each other about your opinions and desires - even if you don’t agree on everything - is essential to developing mutual trust. 4. Doing meaningful things together is next on the list. Working for a local political candidate, participating in a school club, pursuing a mutual hobby  activities such as these can help strengthen the value of time spent together.

10. 5. Fifth is realizing the importance of maintaining relationships with other people. If your partner doesn’t get along with your best friend, for example, you can - and should - still see that friend on your own. It’s also important to respect each person’s need for private time. Being intimate doesn’t mean being together constantly. 6. The sixth point stresses the importance of understanding your partner’s decisions on issues that are important to him or her - like whether or not to go to college, to pursue a career, or to have children. Dr. Gordon also notes that you need to tolerate each other’s weaker moments. Everyone gets silly or irritable once in a while - and we all have to learn to overlook these occasional mistakes.

11. 7. Next in importance is learning to accept each other’s style. One person may be outgoing, the other quiet. Some people need to be physically active almost constantly, while others like to relax. These differences help make each person unique. If they create a real problem, chances are the relationship has a problem too. 8. All of the above can be indicators of mature love. 9. For some relationships, sexual fulfillment is part of intimacy. Dr. Gordon says that it should come last because, without the first eight, sex in a relationship doesn’t mean very much. If sex comes before the other commitments to intimacy, it is more likely to ruin the relationship.

12. DON’T ASK  Are my actions lawful?  Will anyone find out?  Would anyone condemn me?  Is this socially acceptable?  Are my clothes too revealing?  How can I get what I want?  Can I get away with saying this?  Will this hurt anyone? ASK  Are my actions loving to others?  Is this something I’d be proud of?  Is this my highest standard?  Is this in line with my convictions?  Am I dressing for attention?  What is my motive for wanting this?  Would this be better left unsaid?  Will this benefit others? Questions of CompromiseQuestions of Integrity

13. greenyellowred 6 Stages of Emotional Connection (1 &2 — green light 3&4- yellow light 5&6- red light!) 1. Attention (you lock eyes) 2. Attraction (you like him!) 3. Affection (refer to the Five Love Languages- gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch) 4. Attachment (will I marry him???) 5. Affairs (with non-belivers, married men, or other women) 1. 2 Cor 6:14 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” 2. Heb 13:4 “Marriage should be honored by all, an the marriage bed me kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” 3. Lev 18:22 “Homosexuality is absolutely forbidden, for it is an enormous sin” 6. Addiction (Romance and sexual activities can be more addicting than drugs and alcohol)

14. To date or not to date suggestions:  know the guy for at least a year  both Christians  no major flaws that you want to change later  grade 12  you have your own goals  your family approves  you know his family

15. Types of Relationships Virtual Relationships  based on fantasy  require little effort  involve no accountability  involve false mystique and pretense  give a one-dimensional view of the person Real Relationships  built on reality  require relational work  lived out in the presence of others  require integrity and mutual trust  give a three-dimensional view of the person

16. Senses Fail - Save YourselfSave Yourself Turn out the light Just say goodnight, to yourself May I remind you When you find you, you're all alone is when you've got to be strong Cause that's when they call you, in the night He's got your picture in his mind He's got your number on a paper at his disposal anytime Is it really true Could you save yourself for someone who, loves you for you So many times we just give it away, to someone who Someone who you Met in bar The back of a car And for a moment you felt important but not in your heart My self esteem, it's been low, go ahead and count it's been lower than low I know the feeling of it stealing life out from under me I want to learn, how you save yourself for someone who, loves you for you So many times we just give it away to someone who, couldn't even remember your name Could you save yourself for someone who, loves you for you, loves me for me Give it away to someone who someone who will cherish your name Cause I want to learn, can you save yourself for Someone who will love you for you so many times we Just give it away, someone who, couldn't even remember your name You save yourself for someone who, loves you for you, Loves me for me Give it away to someone who, someone who will Cherish your name Cherish your name