1. Title | 1Revised 2007RESET Groups | 1 RESET Readiness [Break Out Group] 2010

2. Title | 2Revised 2007RESET Groups | 2 Objectives  To share information about what Soldiers and Family members think about “how things are going,” now that the Soldier is back home  To discuss approaches to these challenges  To identify symptoms and problems, and review use of resources that are available to help

3. Title | 3Revised 2007RESET Groups | 3 Reconnecting  How are things going?  Was being “reunited,” everything you thought it would be?  How are you feeling?  What things are starting to feel normal? Soldiers and Family members need to be proactive by talking about their worries and concerns, prior to the Soldiers’ return home as well as upon their return.

4. Title | 4Revised 2007RESET Groups | 4 Challenges… Soldiers and deployed Civilians generally need time to gradually ease into their responsibilities at home. And it will take time for Soldiers and Family members to adjust to the Soldier’s return home.

5. Title | 5Revised 2007RESET Groups | 5 Questions You May Be Asking Yourself Soldier –  What happened while I was gone?  I feel like a stranger.  Where do I fit in now?  What about finances?  When will things feel normal again? Spouse/Adult Family Member –  Will my Soldier be different?  Will I need to change the way I have been doing things?  Will I feel like a stranger to my Soldier.  Will he/she spend more time with a battle buddy? Children –  Will I have to do things differently?  Will there be new or different rules?  When will Dad or Mom have to leave again?

6. Title | 6Revised 2007RESET Groups | 6 Restarting

7. Title | 7Revised 2007RESET Groups | 7 Restarting – Realistic Expectations  Expect things to be different or changed  Be caring and compassionate  Recognize that there may be a few doubts and worries  Redirect fantasies and keep expectations realistic  Commit to talk with one another openly  Pace time adjusting to being together

8. Title | 8Revised 2007RESET Groups | 8 Expect change - things will be different than they were prior to the deployment “You’ve changed, your kids have changed, your spouse is different. It becomes a problem when no one admits to the changes…it seems to work as long as you have someone to talk to.” “Everyone grows and changes with separation. Everyone is a little shy to come home, even if they don’t admit it. Sometimes the relationships are better and sometimes they are worse. It depends on the situations.”

9. Title | 9Revised 2007RESET Groups | 9 Adding and Subtracting Roles, Routines, and Rules  New roles established  Different Family rules Change may cause some concern  New competence and independence Difficulty assuming, letting go, or sharing roles and responsibilities Renegotiate roles, routines and rules, and reestablish relationships!

10. Title | 10Revised 2007RESET Groups | 10 Restarting – Reconnecting When reestablishing relationships, it is important to…  Spouses/Family Members –  Let go of anger/resentment/disappointment  Share information; new skills learned  Listen to one another  Be proud of your accomplishments and contributions  Soldiers –  Take time to listen  Share your experiences  Be proud of your accomplishments  Be proud of your Family’s accomplishments

11. Title | 11Revised 2007RESET Groups | 11 Restarting – Reconnecting (continued)  For everyone –  Spend quality time to get to know one another  Pace family activities – it’s important to not try and make up for lost time all at one  Build in quiet time  Take time to listen and acknowledge thoughts and feelings  Find different solutions to deal with tougher hurdles Remember…it is important to acknowledge each other’s contributions and accomplishments.

12. Title | 12Revised 2007RESET Groups | 12 Communication is Crucial “The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.” ~ Rachel Naomi Remen “Being vulnerable doesn't have to be threatening. Just have the courage to be sincere, open and honest. This opens the door to deeper communication all around. It creates self- empowerment and the kind of connections with others we all want in life. Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us.” ~ Sara Paddison, The Hidden Power of the Heart

13. Title | 13Revised 2007RESET Groups | 13 Talking It Out – Healthy Communication Listen  Set aside time to talk without distractions  Check in regularly at the first signs of a problem  Create a receptive frame of mind  Listen with eyes and ears Empathize  Clarify the other’s point of view, paying attention to their feelings  Convey a connectedness, having a willingness to compromise

14. Title | 14Revised 2007RESET Groups | 14 Talking It Out – Healthy Communication Listen Empathize Recognize the impact of stress on communication

15. Title | 15Revised 2007RESET Groups | 15 Communicate… Getting your message across:  Talk softly, do not “Shout”  Use “I” statements  Own your feelings  Make eye contact  Avoid intimidating gestures or body posture

16. Title | 16Revised 2007RESET Groups | 16 Problem Solving  Brain Storming  Pros and Cons  Consensus or Compromise Be spontaneous and know when to be serious or silly, but always show kindness.

17. Title | 17Revised 2007RESET Groups | 17 Questions?

18. Title | 18Revised 2007RESET Groups | 18 Issues of Particular Concern  Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)  Combat Related Stress Response and PTSD  Depression  Alcohol and Substance Abuse  Suicidal Thoughts  Domestic Abuse  Child Abuse and Neglect Emotional fitness – Resiliency – Preparedness – Safety

19. Title | 19Revised 2007RESET Groups | 19 Staying Healthy  Dare yourself to try new things, attend new events, or discover new skills.  Laugh at unexpected stories and try not to apologize for everything.  Relax using many strategies: Meditation, deep breathing, yoga, reading inspirational books, listening to quiet music etc.  Have healthy conversations with peers, buddies, Family members and other helpful people.  Change thinking patterns and be open to new solutions.  Be resourceful by making creative decisions.  Learn to accept responsibility for one’s feelings and behaviors.  Use spirituality to provide courage and hope – a time honored source of strength.

20. Title | 20Revised 2007RESET Groups | 20 Where and How to Get Support  Military OneSource  Army OneSource  Comprehensive Soldier Fitness (CSF)  Army Community Service (ACS)  Army National Guard Family Program  Army Reserve Family Programs  Family Readiness Group  Chaplain  Military Life Consultants  Behavioral Health: Social Work Service, Psychiatry, Psychology  Red Cross and other Community Service Agencies  Department of Veteran Affairs

21. Title | 21Revised 2007RESET Groups | 21 Closing Remarks