1. The Other Talk A Guide to talking with your Adult Children about the rest of your life

2. The Talk

3. Wall of Procrastination Emotionally challenging Emotionally challenging Inevitable transformation Inevitable transformation Changing Parent/Child relationship Changing Parent/Child relationship

4. The Talk

5. The Other Talk

6. “I’ll never put my kids through what happened to me!”

7. When should you start the Other Talk?

8. “Retirement, in a lot of ways, is like being a kid again.”

9. “Why? There’s nothing I want to talk about.”

10. When should you start the Other Talk?

11. “See, I can still handle just about anything!”

12. “I’ll get to it... when the time is right”

13. When should you start the Other Talk?

14. O.M.G.

15. “Tim, I think it’s time to have that talk!”

16. Consequences of waiting until the Waterfall - time frame is compressed - options are limited - everyone around you is freaking out

17. When should you start the Other Talk?

18. Understanding the older generation

19. The Rose Garden Exit Strategy

20. “ “ Everything will turn out just fine, so we don’t need to talk about it.”

21. Emotional Obstacles

22. Denial

23. Emotional Obstacles Denial Role reversal

24. Role Reversal For the Parent I’m about to lose control of the life and lifestyle that I’ve worked so hard to create for myself and my spouse

25. Role Reversal For the Parent I’m about to lose control of the life and lifestyle that I’ve worked so hard to create for myself and my spouse For the Kids I need to start taking responsibility for my parents life: physically, financially, socially

26. Emotional Obstacles Denial Role reversal Loss of control

27. Changing the Perception of the Communication

28. Change the transaction Kids’ intervention

29. Change the transaction Kids’ intervention Parent initiative

30. Parent Initiative Take the initiative now while you can still lead the discussion Don’t wait for a crisis to hit to have The Other Talk

31. Change the dynamic Taking Control or Losing Control

32. Change the dynamic Taking Control orSharing Control Losing Control

33. Change the focus End of life

34. Change the focus End of lifeRest of your Life

35. Change the focus End of lifeRest of your Life Surrendering

36. Change the focus End of lifeRest of your Life SurrenderingActively planning

37. Change the focus End of lifeRest of your Life SurrenderingActively planning Confrontation

38. Change the focus End of lifeRest of your Life SurrenderingActively planning ConfrontationCollaboration

39. Preparing for The Other Talk

40. Commit to full disclosure

41. Preparing for The Other Talk Commit to full disclosure Get your documents in order

42. Key Information for The Other Talk binder Financial Housing Medical End of Life

43. Preparing for The Other Talk Commit to full disclosure Get your documents in order Work out Decisions with Spouse

44. Discussion points with Spouse Consensus/working POV on shared decisions Consensus/working POV on shared decisions Philosophy on personal decisions Philosophy on personal decisions Working knowledge on individual responsibilities Working knowledge on individual responsibilities

45. Preparing for The Other Talk Commit to full disclosure Get your documents in order Work out Decisions with Spouse Consider “Third Party transaction”

46. Third Party transaction Parent Adult children

47. Third Party Transaction Parent The Other Talk Adult Children The Other Talk

48. Turning the Other Talk into an Action Plan

49. Financing your uncertain future Selecting the best living arrangement Getting the medical care you need Taking charge at the end of your life

50. Turning the Other Talk into an Action Plan Financing your uncertain future

51. Financial Planning made easy “ I want the last check I write before I die

52. Financial Planning made easy “ I want the last check I write before I die to bounce!”

53. Retirement expectations My spending in retirement will: Perception Decrease 56% Stay the same 36 Increase 8

54. Retirement expectations My spending in retirement will: Perception Reality Decrease 56% 36% Stay the same 36 47 Increase 8 22

55. Turning the Other Talk into an Action Plan Financing your uncertain future

56. Creating a framework for an Unpredictable Future “What if” scenarios

57. Personal Goals in Retirement What will each of them cost? How will you prioritize them? What’s your time frame for each?

58. Personal Goals in Retirement What do I want to accomplish? What am I able to do, financially and physically?

59. Creating a framework for an Unpredictable Future “What if” scenarios Personal Goals Financial Power of Attorney

60. Creating a framework for an Unpredictable Future “What if” scenarios Personal Goals Financial Power of Attorney Family orientation meetings

61. Turning the Other Talk into an Action Plan Financing your uncertain future Selecting the best living arrangement

62. Turning the Other Talk into an Action Plan Financing your uncertain future Selecting the best living arrangement Getting the medical care you need

63. utilization by 65+ Healthcare utilization by 65+ 44% of hospital care 44% of hospital care 38% of emergency room 38% of emergency room 35% of prescriptions 35% of prescriptions 26% of doctor visits 26% of doctor visits

64. Healthcare utilization by 65+ 44% of hospital care 44% of hospital care 38% of emergency room 38% of emergency room 35% of prescriptions 35% of prescriptions 26% of doctor visits 26% of doctor visits 13% of population 13% of population

65. Turning the Other Talk into an Action Plan Financing your uncertain future Selecting the best living arrangement Getting the medical care you need Taking charge at the end of your life

66. Documents for taking charge Advanced directives Advanced directives Will and trusts Will and trusts POA Financial and Medical POA Financial and Medical POLST POLST Five Wishes Five Wishes Funeral instructions Funeral instructions

67. When is the right time to have The Other Talk?

68. What can happen if you don’t?

69. What can happen if you do?