1. Working Through Marital Conflict Marriage Enrichment Seminar Session #3

2. Introduction: Every marriage has its ups and downs. Every marriage has its ups and downs. The following are six principles to follow in the process of a “love fight.” The following are six principles to follow in the process of a “love fight.”

3. 1. Adopt a Learner’s Posture. Colossians 3:18-19 Colossians 3:18-19 Titus 2:4-5 Titus 2:4-5 Be teachable and kind to one another. Be teachable and kind to one another.

4. 2. Listen With Your Heart. Proverbs 15:31 Proverbs 15:31 We reach the root of the problem more readily if we invite our spouse to tell us what he/she is feeling and what their needs are. We reach the root of the problem more readily if we invite our spouse to tell us what he/she is feeling and what their needs are.

5. Are you listening?

6. 3. Keep Your Emotions Under Control. Anger will never help us to resolve a conflict or help us grow. Anger will never help us to resolve a conflict or help us grow. James 1:20 James 1:20 Ephesians 4:31 Ephesians 4:31 Proverbs 15:1 Proverbs 15:1 Ephesians 4:26 Ephesians 4:26

7. 4. Think Before You Speak. James 1:19 James 1:19 Some of us have our mouths in motion before our minds are in gear. Some of us have our mouths in motion before our minds are in gear. Proverbs 10:19 Proverbs 10:19

8. 5. Focus On Your Part of the Blame. Blaming others usually stems from a low self-esteem. Blaming others usually stems from a low self-esteem. Matthew 7:3-5 Matthew 7:3-5 If we are serious about strengthening our relationship, we must ask ourselves what we have done to agitate the conflict. If we are serious about strengthening our relationship, we must ask ourselves what we have done to agitate the conflict.

9. 6. Keep Short Accounts. 1 Corinthians 13:5 1 Corinthians 13:5 Be more readily willing to acknowledge your fault, seek your partner’s forgiveness, embrace, and proceed joyfully! Be more readily willing to acknowledge your fault, seek your partner’s forgiveness, embrace, and proceed joyfully!

10. Conclusion: Have the attitude of Christ in your marriage – in which you put the needs of your spouse ahead of your own. Have the attitude of Christ in your marriage – in which you put the needs of your spouse ahead of your own. Philippians 2:3-5 Philippians 2:3-5 Stick your pride on the backburner, and let you love burn bright! Stick your pride on the backburner, and let you love burn bright!

11. Keys to a Successful Marriage Marriage Enrichment Seminar Session #4

12. Introduction: Marriage is a beautiful, God-given gift. Genesis 2:18, 20-25; Matthew 19:4-6 Sadly, we live in a time in which the marriage relationship is often viewed as a temporary arrangement with no real honor. There are three keys to a successful marriage: There are three keys to a successful marriage:

13. 1. Marriages Must Be Christ- Centered. The marriage relationship is equivalent to Christ’s relationship with His bride, the Church (Eph. 5:22-27). – Submission – Selflessness – Sacrifice – Sanctification

14. A meaningful prayer-life is essential in maintaining a Christ-centered home. The family that prays together, stays together! 2 Timothy 3:16-17

15. 2. Marriages Must Have a Committed Love. Hardships and heart-wrenching times will come in your marriage. Marriages that lack an iron-willed determination to stick it out at all costs are like the fragile Roman bridges. Love is an action, not a gooshy, erratic feeling!

16. 3. Marriages Must Have Clear Communication. The inability or unwillingness of husbands to reveal their feelings to their wives is one of the common complaints of women. The solution to such communicative problems at home is compromise. Time must be reserved for meaningful conversations.

17. Speaker Listener Technique Rules for the Speaker – Speak for yourself, don’t mind read! – Keep statements brief. Don’t go on and on. – Stop to let the listener paraphrase.

18. Rules for the Listener – Paraphrase what you hear. – Focus on the speaker’s message. Don’t rebut.

19. Rules for Both – The speaker has the floor. – Speaker keeps the floor while the listener paraphrases. – Share the floor.

20. Three-Step Couple’s Dialogue: Summarizing: “What I hear you saying is … Is that Right?”… Is there anything else?” Validating: “What you’re saying makes sense because..." Empathizing: "I imagine that makes you feel..."

21. Conclusion: The three keys to a successful marriage are: – Christ-Centeredness – Committed Love – Clear Communication Sticking to the three keys requires sacrifice, sweat, and tears.