1. The Relationship Bank Account & Habit 4 Think Win-Win
“7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens”
By Sean Covey
Public Victory (Habits 4-6)

2. 7 Habits Review 1st 3: Private Victory
Habit #1: Be Proactive (you are the driver)
Habit #2: Begin With the End in Mind (control your own destiny or someone else will)
Habit #3: Put First Things First (will and won’t power)

3. The Seven Habits Tree

4. Private & Public Victories
Private Victories (Habits 1-3)
Help you become independent
“I am responsible for myself. I can create my own destiny”
Public Victories (Habits 4-6)
Help you become interdependent
Work cooperatively with others
Relationships: your ability to get along with others
“I am a team player & I have the power & influence with people”

5. PBA: Personal Bank Account
PBA Deposits
Keep promises to yourself
Do small acts of kindness
Be gentle with yourself
Be honest
Renew yourself
Tap into your talents
PBA Withdrawals
Break personal promises
Keep to yourself
Beat yourself up
Be dishonest
Wear yourself out
Neglect your talents

6. Possible Symptoms of Poor & Healthy PBA
Stand up for yourself & resist peer pressure
Not overly concerned with being popular
See life as generally positive
Trust yourself
Goal driven
Happy for the successes of others
Poor PBA
Cave into peer pressure easily
Wrestle with feelings of depression & inferiority
Overly concerned with what others think of you
Act arrogant to hide feelings of insecurity
Self-destruct by getting heavily into drugs, pornography, vandalism or gangs
Get jealous easily, especially when someone close succeeds

7. RBA: Relationship Bank Account
RBA Deposits
Keep promises
Do small acts of kindness
Be loyal
Listen
Say you’re sorry
Set clear expectations
RBA Withdrawals
Break promises
Keep to yourself
Gossip & break confidences
Don’t listen
Be arrogant
Set false expectations

8. The Relationship Bank Account
Be Loyal
Loyal people keep secrets
Loyal people avoid gossip
Loyal people stick up for others

9. The Relationship Bank Account
Listen
One of the single greatest deposits you can make into another’s RBA
People need to be listened to almost as much as they need food

10. The Relationship Bank Account
Say you’re sorry
Saying your sorry when you yell, overreact or make a stupid mistake can quickly restore an overdrawn bank account
It takes guts to say, “I was wrong,” “I apologize,” or “I’m sorry”
Don’t let pride stand in the way of being able to get on in life and feeling good about what you do
A good habit to do as you will continue to make mistakes

11. The Relationship Bank Account
Set clear expectations
Build trust by being honest about what you mean from the beginning
Avoid sending vague messages or implying something that is not true or not likely to happen
Our tendency is to want to flatter and please others, and the result may be that we set unclear or unrealistic expectations

12. What do we live for? Is it not to make life less difficult for each other? -George Elliot

13. Habit 4: Think Win-Win Life is an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
There’s enough to go around for everyone

14. Habit 4: Think Win-Win
The foundation for getting along well with others
Begins with the belief that you are equal
no one is inferior or superior
no one really needs to be

15. Win-Lose—the Totem Pole
Says the pie of life is only so big, & I need to get a bigger slice than you
Like a totem pole: “I don’t care how good I am as long as I’m a notch higher than you”
The focus is always competitive

16. Win-Lose Attitude Wears Many Faces
Uses other people, emotionally or physically, for their own selfish purposes
Tries to get ahead at the expense of another
Spreads rumors about some one else
Always insists on getting their own way w/o concern for others feelings
Becomes jealous & envious when something good happens to someone close to them

17. Lose-Win—the Doormat Lose-win is weak Easier to be the nice guy
Low expectations
Compromising standards
Gives in to peer pressure
Hides true feelings deep inside
Okay to let others win in the small things
Stand up for the important things

18. Lose-Lose—the Downward Spiral
“If I’m going down, you’re going down with me sucker”—misery enjoys company
Revenge—you’re only hurting yourself
“I don’t care what happens to me as long as my brother fails”
Co-dependent relationships

19. Win-Win The belief that everyone can win
Both nice & tough at the same time
“I won’t step on you, but I won’t be your doormat either”
You care about people & want them to succeed
You care about yourself & want to succeed

20. How do you think Win-Win?
Start with the Private Victory First
Be Proactive, Begin with the End in Mind, Put First Things First
Insecure people get jealous easily
By starting with yourself, by putting deposits in your PBA, taking responsibility for yourself, getting a plan in place for your life, your confidence & security will go up
Personal security the foundation for thinking Win-Win

21. How do you Think Win-Win?
Avoid the Tumor Twins
Competing
Competition is healthy when you compete against yourself—challenging yourself to reach, stretch & become your best
Competition is not healthy when you tie your self-worth into winning & when you use it in a way to place yourself above another

22. How do you Think Win-Win?
Avoid the Tumor Twins
Comparing
Everyone is on different developmental timetables
Each person has their own customized obstacle course in life to follow
Can become an addiction like alcohol or drugs

23. The Benefits of the Win-Win Spirit
Confidence
Happiness
Serenity