1. COMMIT Communication Inventory for Couples developed in Auckland in 2011 Commit is a communication assessment inventory to be used as introduction to a skill’s enhancement course It is not a test – it cannot be failed. It raises issues for discussion; highlighting strengths, and areas of growth in relationships It is a snapshot of the relationship at this point in time. There is a need for honesty in answering the questions It is an opportunity for the couple to explore their relationship, to discuss results with each other and their possible implications

2. Contains a series of statements requiring a response of (D) Disagree, (U) Uncertain or (A) Agree Facilitators encourage discussion between you Certificate of completion issued COMMIT INVENTORY

3. A private session, held at Facilitators home The follow-up session is confidential between the couple, the facilitators and wedding celebrant. All papers will be destroyed after the session. Normally takes 2 to 3 hours The Commit follow-up session is confidential

4. Helpful aspects of the Commit Manual Icebreaker questions to introduce each category Resource section with support material for the facilitator Take home workbook for couples to make note during the session.

5. Skill’s enhancement course A variety of skill’s enhancement courses is offered throughout the country. The courses are held either weekly for a six week period, or on two Saturdays or Sundays; in general they cover the following topics:  Exploring our origins  Building a shared understanding of Marriage  Sharing ourselves, intimate communication  Coping with difference/ Conflict resolution  Intimacy/Sexuality  Sacrament of Marriage

6. The primary role of the facilitator is to guide the couple through the Commit-programme in a safe and non-judgmental environment Be personally secure Trust the material, the process and the Holy Spirit Warmly welcome the couple Start with a prayer Create relaxed, comfortable environment; good sense of humor helps Watch/listen for: dominance/ shyness/ misunderstanding/ anger/ escapism Avoid being ‘preachy’ or ‘professor’ Remember that we are not counsellors Ensure confidentiality

7. Feedback from engaged couples 1 The questions provided a great checklist of things we should know or think about and flagged some topics, we had just assumed, we knew what the other wanted or felt. Reinforced our compatibility. The questions focused on issues to discuss. It helped to understand our relationship and how we work well and what we can work on to improve our relationship/marriage. Helped us think about things we wouldn’t necessarily talk about on our own. Clarified how well we know each other and confirmed we are making the right decision As a non Catholic, I found the course helpful in opening up views on religion and new interest in religion( wow, from me )

8. Feed back from engaged couples 2 We liked talking about what we agreed on and disagreed on. It was helpful because we got a sense of how each other felt. Better for our relationship It was a real eye opener and it helped us talk/discuss issues and topics that we had not talked about or had avoided talking about. Extremely helpful when it comes to a neutral ear. The programme addresses what needs to be resolved before and after marriage. I would recommend it to everyone(from a Presbyterian marrying at St Luke’s Presbyterian Church, Remuera) The way the facilitators delivered the course was warm and friendly and non judgmental. Open and honest conversations helped to identify strengths and areas of improvements. The session made us aware of our differences and we spoke about our expectations and ways to resolve issues.

9. Feedback from facilitators 1 Statements simple, easy to comprehend Computer scoring and graph very helpful Responses with Flag 3 give an opportunity to positively promote skill’s enhancement course Manual is well set out and easy to use Questions introducing each session tends to open up communication