1. Notes on Writing How to make it even better…

2. A few rules Don’t use personal pronouns in an essay. ( I, me, my, etc.) Don’t use personal pronouns in an essay. ( I, me, my, etc.) “I really liked this story because…” “I really liked this story because…” “My opinion is that…” “My opinion is that…” “If it were up to me…” “If it were up to me…”

3. You are the authority If you are writing it, the reader already knows it is your opinion. You do not need to preface statements with: I, me, my. If you are writing it, the reader already knows it is your opinion. You do not need to preface statements with: I, me, my. “My opinion is that Brother was cruel to Doodle when he…” “My opinion is that Brother was cruel to Doodle when he…” INSTEAD INSTEAD “Brother was cruel to Doodle when he…” “Brother was cruel to Doodle when he…”

4. A Few Rules Do not address your audience directly Do not address your audience directly “Have you ever done something you weren’t proud of” INSTEAD “Have you ever done something you weren’t proud of” INSTEAD “Is it possible for any person to say he/she has never been ashamed of a decision?” “Is it possible for any person to say he/she has never been ashamed of a decision?”

5. The text is the authority Do not address audience directly Do not address audience directly “We can see from this quote…” INSTEAD “We can see from this quote…” INSTEAD “The quote proves that…” “The quote proves that…” “This quote illustrates…” “This quote illustrates…” “The author clearly states in this quote that…” “The author clearly states in this quote that…”

6. No Naked Quotes Brother’s pride is the reason for helping Doodle. (Naked) “But all of us must have something or someone to be proud of, and Doodle was mine.” (184) Brother’s pride is the reason for helping Doodle. (Naked) “But all of us must have something or someone to be proud of, and Doodle was mine.” (184) Brother proves his motivation for helping Doodle was his own pride when he said, “But all of us must have something or someone to be proud of, and Doodle had become mine” (184). Brother proves his motivation for helping Doodle was his own pride when he said, “But all of us must have something or someone to be proud of, and Doodle had become mine” (184).

7. No Naked Quotes The day before school brother’s pride still wouldn’t let him quit. (Naked) “I should have already admitted defeat, but my pride wouldn’t let me.” 187 The day before school brother’s pride still wouldn’t let him quit. (Naked) “I should have already admitted defeat, but my pride wouldn’t let me.” 187 When brother says, “I should have already admitted defeat, but my pride wouldn’t let me” he clearly identifies his motivation for helping Doodle.(187) When brother says, “I should have already admitted defeat, but my pride wouldn’t let me” he clearly identifies his motivation for helping Doodle.(187)

8. Avoid Casual Lingo “And brother was like, “Awe, come on Doodle” (184). “And brother was like, “Awe, come on Doodle” (184). “Brother was so lame when he…” “Brother was so lame when he…” “He’s all, “Awe, come on Doodle” (184). “He’s all, “Awe, come on Doodle” (184).

9. Think outside the quote CD: “Doodle walked only because I was ashamed of having a crippled brother.” CD: “Doodle walked only because I was ashamed of having a crippled brother.” Comm: “This shows that brother was ashamed of having a crippled brother because he says it.” Comm: “This shows that brother was ashamed of having a crippled brother because he says it.” INSTEAD INSTEAD Comm: “This shows that brother’s motivations for helping Doodle were selfish. This also shows that brother is more concerned about what others think than he is with his own family’s needs.” Comm: “This shows that brother’s motivations for helping Doodle were selfish. This also shows that brother is more concerned about what others think than he is with his own family’s needs.”