1. Intimate Relationships and Marriage
Unit 3: Chapter 7

2. Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection
NATURAL SELECTION
Women preferred to mate with men:
who would be good fathers
who would stay around to be good providers for themselves and their children
Men preferred to mate with women:
who could bear healthy babies
who could feed their children
who had the intelligence and temperament to raise them well

3. Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection
SOCIAL HOMOGAMY
Individuals are attracted to those with similar social backgrounds
Tests rating attractiveness have shown correlation for social homogamy:
Highest correlations found for age, race, ethnic background, religion, socio-economic status, and political views
Correlations were also found for physical characteristics, such as length of fingers and space between eyes, suggesting that people find others with a similar appearance attractive. (Buss, 1994).

4. Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection
IDEAL MATE THEORY
Attraction is based on an individuals unconscious image of the ideal mate formed from his or her perceptions of the meaning of certain characteristics

5. Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection
PROXIMITY 
Is a major factor in mate selection
We are attracted to, fall in love with, and marry those who live and work nearby, belong to the same groups/religious community and attend the same cultural events (Broderick, 2000)

6. Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection
ROBERT STERNBERG’S LOVE TRIANGLE

7. Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection
Romantic love has three faces:
Passion, Intimacy and Commitment
Passion: a strong feeling of sexual desire for another, develops the most quickly of the three
Intimacy: an intense friendship, develops more slowly, each individual shares himself or herself with another and becomes willing to meet the other’s psychological needs
Commitment: grows as the rewards of the relationship over others becomes evident, individuals accept reciprocal roles

8. Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection
BERNARD MURSTEIN’S FILTER THEORY
Choosing a partner is a multi-step process
“Sifting”: individuals pass their dates through a series of filters to screen out unacceptable marriage partners and to select those who are similar to themselves

9. Murstein’s Filter Theory
Field of Eligibles
Propinquity Filter
Attraction Filter
Physical Attraction Personality
Homogamy Filter
Age, Race, Education, SES, Religion
Compatiblity Filter
Temperament, Attitudes, Values, Needs, Roles
Trial Filter
Cohabitation, engagement
Decision Filter
Marriage

10. Courtship
Free-Choice Mate Selection: individuals are attracted to each other, fall in love, and decide to marry Courtship: allows individuals to win the affection of those to whom they are attracted Bundling: The young couple would be tucked into bed with a “bundling board” between them so that they could have private conversations without sexual contact

11. Speed Dating Activity
Write down 5 questions you would ask someone on the first date.
You will have about 2 minutes for each “date”
When I say SWITCH, rate how compatible you think you are with your date.
1=not compatible, 10=very compatible
Move onto your next “date”