1. Bethami A. Dobkin Roger C. Pace Communication in a Changing World McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. C H A P T E R 4 Listening and Responding to Others

2. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Listening and Responding to Others Communication in a Changing World The Listening Process Active and Passive Listening Obstacles to Effective Listening Becoming a Responsible and Effective ListenerBecoming a Responsible and Effective Listener

3. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Communication in a Changing World Listening is a major part of communication that many of us take for granted Good listening skills are important in both our professional and personal lives Improving your listening skills will make you a better communicator, assist you in your professional life, and enrich your interpersonal relationships

4. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Communication in a Changing World “The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.” —Maya Angelou, poet

5. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Communication in a Changing World Hearing and Listening –Hearing refers to the act of perceiving sounds or other related stimuli –Listening is the process of perceiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken or nonverbal messages

6. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Communication in a Changing World Figure 4-1. Communication Time Spent Listening

7. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Listening Process Attending, the first stage in the listening process, involves making the conscious choice to listen Interpreting, the second stage, involves giving meaning to sounds or related stimuli

8. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Listening Process Figure 4-2. Stages of the Listening Process

9. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Listening Process Think it Over –Do Deaf People Listen? Do we listen for messages that go beyond sound? Can we listen with our eyes?

10. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Listening Process Responding, the third stage of the listening process, involves any discernable reaction including both verbal and nonverbal feedback Remembering, the final stage, involves the retention and recall of messages

11. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. The Listening Process “The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.” —Richard Moss, relationship counselor and author

12. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Active and Passive Listening Active listeners focus on the moment, are aware of interactions as they unfold, respond appropriately, and are aware of distractions Passive listeners expend little or no energy in the listening process

13. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Active and Passive Listening The differences between passive and active listeners lie in 1. Responsibility each takes for communication 2. Energy each puts into becoming interested in a message 3. Importance each places on both verbal and nonverbal messages 4. Value each places on interaction 5. Willingness each has to listen to an entire message 6. Effort each invests in taking notes (Floyd 1985)

14. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Obstacles to Effective Listening Overcoming External Distractions –Physical Environment Ask speaker to pause or repeat a statement Sit closer to the speaker Turn down the volume on electronic devices –Message Context Understand and pay attention to the context in which we listen to messages –Media Noise Think about the influence that medium will have on the listeners ability to understand you

15. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Obstacles to Effective Listening Overcoming Attitudinal Obstacles –Preoccupation with the Self Communicators who are consistently thinking about what they are going to say instead of listening to others miss much of the meaning in messages –Preconceived Attitudes and Beliefs Often interfere with our listening effectiveness by leading us to categorize messages before fully understanding them

16. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Obstacles to Effective Listening Overcoming Attitudinal Obstacles (continued) –Personal Investment Personal investment can lead to selective attention, ambushing, and avoidance of threatening information Can be triggered by semantic noise, a barrier to listening triggered by a particular word or phrase used by a speaker, or indifference, a lack of interest in listening Indifference often results in pseudolistening, or pretending to listen

17. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Obstacles to Effective Listening Exploring Communication Concepts –Cognitive Dissonance Under which conditions are you most likely to experience dissonance? For example, think about personal habits that you consider distasteful or unhealthy, or an uncomfortable point of view help by someone you care about. What might you do to eliminate your discomfort?

18. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Obstacles to Effective Listening Figure 4-3. Active Listening Requires Energy

19. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Obstacles to Effective Listening “Let us draw closer to the fire, so that we might be able to see what we're saying...” —Chinese Proverb

20. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Becoming a Responsible and Effective Listener Identifying Listening Goals –Appreciation is the goal of listening for pleasure or enjoyment –Comprehension is the goal for listening for understanding

21. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Becoming a Responsible and Effective Listener “Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.” —Jimi Hendrix, rock musician

22. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Becoming a Responsible and Effective Listener Identifying Listening Goals –Empathy is the goal of establishing common ground between people by acknowledging the legitimacy of feelings and giving support to others Expressive communicators verbally acknowledge how others feel and share experience Instrumental communication is listening or responding to help other solve problems or goals –Evaluation is the goal of listening to render an opinion or judgment

23. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Becoming a Responsible and Effective Listener Preparing to Listen –Clear your mind –Eliminate distractions –Set goals –Take notes when listening to presentations

24. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Becoming a Responsible and Effective Listener Exploring Communication Concepts –Evaluative Listening and Narratives What is your reaction to this story? With stories such as this one, how would you listen for evaluation? Is the story coherent? How would to test its fidelity?

25. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Becoming a Responsible and Effective Listener Applying Communication Concepts –Listening Effectively to Electronic Media Are you prepared to view the presentation? Can you separate stimuli from your interpretations? Did you participate in a discussion about the presentation? What were the central ideas?

26. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Becoming a Responsible and Effective Listener Improving Comprehension –Maintaining an Open Mind 1.Recognize your own interests and biases 2.Separate the message from its source 3.Identify key points in the message 4.Listen for unanticipated information –Using Perception Checks Paraphrase in your own words what the speaker said Ask questions Identify areas of agreement with the speaker

27. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Becoming a Responsible and Effective Listener Choosing Your Response –The response you make will influence what happens next in the interaction 1.Make active choices about your feedback 2.Be careful about using negative feedback 3.Validate the speaker

28. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Becoming a Responsible and Effective Listener Making Communication Memorable –Staying Involved While Listening The best way to remember an interaction is to make an investment in it –Organizing Information To be effective, the listener must often identify key points and regroup material

29. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Becoming a Responsible and Effective Listener Applying Communication Concepts –Listening and Responding During Interviews Are your questions clear and direct? How might you rephrase your questions if the respondent has difficulty understanding you? Have you though of follow-up questions that will allow the speaker to stress points more clearly?

30. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Summary By improving our listening skills, we strengthen the foundation for shared meaning in communication and increase satisfaction with our interpersonal relationships The four stages of the listening process are (1) attending, (2) interpreting, (3) responding, and (4) remembering

31. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Summary Active listeners frequently remember more information than passive listeners There are many obstacles, both internal and external, to effective listening in every communication situation The four listening goals are (1) appreciation, (2) comprehension, (3) empathy, and (4) evaluation

32. McGraw-Hill © 2003 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Summary Some of the ways to listen responsibly and effectively include –Preparing physically and mentally to listen –Taking notes –Being open-minded –Using perception checks –Actively providing feedback –Demonstrating comprehension –Staying involved –Organizing material and information