1. 1 CM 220 College Composition II UNIT 8 Seminar Professor Tara Burge General Education, Composition Kaplan University

2. A. “Obesity is one of the most serious health problems facing the youth of the United States, and evidence suggests that the problem is worsening rapidly. The increase in the prevalence of childhood obesity, outlined by Troiano and Flegal,( n1) parallels the large increase in the prevalence of adult obesity that has occurred over the past 2 decades” (Hill and Trowbridge, 1998, p. 571). B. “Childhood obesity has been the focus of public and media attention in recent months. It is highlighted as a major risk factor in many health conditions, including those covered in government health priority planning such as coronary heart disease and diabetes” (Laing, 2002, p. 14) C. “If the schools in your district are like most in the United States, there is a good chance that today’s lunch features pizza, hot dogs, chicken nuggets or maybe hamburgers with processed cheese. Is serving these types of foods really in the best interest of our children’s health? (Wallace, 2009, p. 36). D “French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau argued in the 18th century that children shouldn't be considered miniature adults, and doctors have generally agreed--until now. But kids today are developing very adult health problems, from aging arteries to prediabetes to hypertension and high cholesterol” (Kotz, 2009, no pag.).

3. Introductions Why is a good introduction necessary? What techniques can you use in an introduction to grab a reader’s attention? What should you avoid doing in an intro?

4. Introductions Either motivate the reader to continue to read what is written or cause the reader to stop reading. Can hook the reader. Can provide a positive first impression of you the writer and your ideas. Are most effective when they are YOU-CENTERED. They should clearly establish why the information is valuable to the audience? ALWAYS think about the strategies that YOU like. What introductions and conclusions work best to motivate you to begin to read and continue to read? What do your favorite authors do? 4

5. More tips about INTRODUCTIONS Don’t assume you have to write the introduction before you write the rest of your essay. You can come back to the introduction at any point in the writing process. Forcing an introduction may make it awkward and may create Writer’s Block. Avoid apologies, obvious statements, trite phrases, and awkward statements like “In this paper, I will…” unless the writing situation calls for it. 5

6. Conclusions What is different about a conclusion? What are some things you should do in a conclusion? What should you avoid when writing a conclusion?

7. Sample intro and conclusion A child’s world is full of violence. It appears in video games, films, and TV programs, and many parents in the hope of removing their children from some of this violence are encouraging and sometimes pushing their children into participating in organized sports. Unfortunately, this same violence is creeping into Little League, Pee Wee football, soccer, basketball, and hockey, in the form of the parents’ and coaches’ poor conduct and rage. This violent behavior on the part of parents and coaches must be curbed and we must bring back into the game the learning of the rules and skills of the sport and a sense of good sportsmanship and values. Parents across the United States and into Canada need to let go of their own agendas, and athletic associations need to enforce parental and coaching codes of conduct through classes and training. As a result, the world of youth sports can be returned to the children where they can all learn to enjoy a sport, learn the skills of a sport, play, and most of all have fun.

8. Maggie’s Intro Walk past any athletic field on any given day of the week and there are dozens of young athletes either practicing baseball, soccer, or football, or playing a game against another team. By the time they reach age 12, three-quarters of those players drop out (Lord, 2000; Lancaster, 2001). With childhood obesity at such a high level, we all know, it is much better for the children to participate in organized sports than to sit in front of a TV or computer. Unfortunately, young athletes are becoming discouraged and dropping out of organized sports, not because of their own physical limitations and skills or understanding of the game, but because of the conduct of both parents and coaches, and lack of sportsmanship.

9. Maggie’s Conclusion: Many people studying youth sports agree that this conduct on the part of parents and coaches as well as lack of sportsmanship needs to change if we want to stop discouraging these young athletes and causing them to drop out of sports. These young athletes need motivators in the form of parents and coaches. With supportive parents and coaches, who knows: another Mickey Mantle, Donovan McNabb, or Curt Schilling may be out there on that Little League baseball or Pee-Wee football field.

10. Let’s compare: Intro: Walk past any athletic field on any given day of the week and there are dozens of young athletes either practicing baseball, soccer, or football, or playing a game against another team. By the time they reach age 12, three-quarters of those players drop out (Lord, 2000; Lancaster, 2001). With childhood obesity at such a high level, we all know, it is much better for the children to participate in organized sports than to sit in front of a TV or computer. Unfortunately, young athletes are becoming discouraged and dropping out of organized sports, not because of their own physical limitations and skills or understanding of the game, but because of the conduct of both parents and coaches, and lack of sportsmanship. Conclusion: Many people studying youth sports agree that this conduct on the part of parents and coaches as well as lack of sportsmanship needs to change if we want to stop discouraging these young athletes and causing them to drop out of sports. These young athletes need motivators in the form of parents and coaches. With supportive parents and coaches, who knows: another Mickey Mantle, Donovan McNabb, or Curt Schilling may be out there on that Little League baseball or Pee-Wee football field.

11. Sample Introduction Strategies Establishing the Topic The introduction is a great place to give any necessary background or historical information, or to define unfamiliar terms. "Grammar" or syntax (the linguistic term) is the study of the patterns and regularities of language at the word-to-sentence-level. Its history can be traced back to the Greeks, 2000 years ago, through the Romans, and extends to present day. Importantly, grammar does not limit itself to what people say is grammatical. True grammar reflects the patterns that real speakers and writers actually use, including, even, their use of the word “ain’t.” This introduction gives a historical background, but it presents it in an interesting way. 11

12. Introductions, 2 Begin with a quotation: However, make sure to explain its relevance! A quotation with no explanation is not effective at all. The following is an example. "If I commit suicide, it will not be to destroy myself but to put myself back together again." (Antonin Artaud, 1925, p.37) It may sound strange to think of suicide as anything but self-destructive, but to many who have contemplated or committed suicide, as Artaud did, the notion that suicide will somehow heal them or put them back together is quite common. Obviously, suicide is self-destruction, but to prevent suicide, one must first understand what those who are suicidal feel it will fix. Only then can another path to putting oneself "back together again" be realistically offered. 12

13. Introductions, 3 Begin with a definition: The key to using a definition is to make sure you are defining something that needs defining. Do not throw in a definition that everyone knows. Euthanasia is “the act or practice of ending the life of an individual suffering from a terminal illness or an incurable condition, as by lethal injection or the suspension of extraordinary medical treatment” (American Heritage Dictionary, 4th edition, 2000). While everyone can agree on what it is, there are deep divides over whether or not it is moral or ethical. Now consider this definition: Euthanasia is the act of ending a terminally ill person’s life mercifully. It allows people to control their own destiny by controlling their own death. This second one is interesting because it is a definition that we would not find in a dictionary. It is a stipulative definition...part of the author's job is to support this definition of euthanasia. Why do you think the author gave this definition of euthanasia rather than a dictionary definition? Well, what is euthanasia considered in the legal world (in most of the U.S.)? Suicide or murder, at this point. Just looking at this definition, what do you think the author's stance on euthanasia will be? Note how the persuasion starts early. This definition sets up the paper's argument. The author wants you to see it in a positive way, and part of the author's job is to support this definition of euthanasia. 13

14. Introductions, 4 Begin with a question: Echo, shampoo, window, balcony, hurricane, cruise, noodle, whiskey—these are all good English words, aren't they? Actually, they are now, but they are only a few of the tens of thousands of words that English has borrowed from other languages. In fact, English has borrowed and generated so many words that it has the largest vocabulary of any language on the planet. Just how many words it has cannot be determined— are “care,” “careless,” and “carelessness” to be counted as one word or three? The range, however, is from 500,000 (the number of entries in the Oxford English Dictionary) to well over a million. To be fair, no individual English speaker has a vocabulary of this size—depending on education and other factors, an individual’s range is usually between 15,000 and 70,000 words—yet it remains fascinating that English has gained most of its words by borrowing them from other languages. But avoid a question that is obvious and leads nowhere. 14

15. Introductions, 5 Begin with a narrative: If you begin with a very short narrative or story that relates directly to your paper, be sure it is short, to the point, and relevant to your topic. Sandra sat down on the coach and took a deep breath. She slowly put on her shoes, stood up, and reached for her purse. As she walked to the front door, her pulse grew rapid and she felt short of breath. She started to tremble. As her hand rested on the doorknob, a wave of panic washed over her. “I just can’t do it,” she thought. She stepped back from the door, defeated once again. Sandra, like thousands of other Americans, suffers from agoraphobia, an overwhelming and unnatural fear of being in public. You can use this method to "frame" a paper—start the story in the introduction and end it in the conclusion. 15

16. Introductions, 6 Begin with an interesting fact or startling information: This information must be true and verifiable, and it does not need to be totally new to your readers. It could simply be a pertinent fact that explicitly illustrates the point you wish to make: Water conservation usually focuses on shortening the length of showers or reducing lawn watering, but according to the Worldwatch Institute’s senior researcher Alan Durning (1988), over half the water used in the United States is devoted to meat production. 16

17. Some Strategies for Conclusions Mirror or complete the introduction: Recall the narrative introduction about Sandra, the agoraphobic woman who was too afraid to leave her own home? When the introduction left off, she was backing away from the front door, unable to work up the courage to go out. The conclusion could revisit Sandra after she has received treatment. It could show how much happier she is with this phobia behind her. 17

18. Conclusions, 2 Challenge the audience to take action from what they have learned: In this case, the author has written a paper on poor parental conduct at their children’s sporting events and the effect this has on children. In the conclusion, she puts the responsibility on the audience by suggesting parents need to take responsibility for their own behavior and make youth sports positive again: Parents across the United States need to let go of their own agendas, and athletic associations need to enforce parental and coaching codes of conduct through classes and training. As a result, the world of youth sports can be returned to the children where they can all learn to enjoy a sport, learn the skills of a sport, play, and most of all have fun. 18

19. Conclusions, 3 Bring up remaining questions: There are several ways to use this technique. You can suggest answers to the questions or you can propose further research that would answer those questions. You can also use this technique to minimize the importance of questions that may be lingering in the minds of your audience. The following conclusion uses questions to accomplish this: With the rising price of, growing demand for, and lessening supply of gasoline, is the only solution to reinvent the automobile? Is the next new technology just around the corner, ready to solve this problem? While new technologies will shape the future, and while the current automobile is likely to become obsolete in the decades to come, there is a great deal we can do today far short of abandoning our cars. We can buy more fuel-efficient vehicles. When we buy a home or rent an apartment, we can try to find one within walking distance to a grocery store. We can carpool to work or take public transportation. We can even talk to our employers about setting up a staggered work schedule: cars burn the most gasoline and create the most pollution when driving in heavy traffic. Workers who are allowed to start work two hours earlier or two hours later to avoid rush-hour congestion can save gasoline. Regardless of what we do now, or what innovation brings, conserving gasoline now makes sense. 19

20. More help.. For an excellent Writing Center Workshop on introductions and conclusions, review the following: http://khe2.acrobat.com/p44415570/?launc her=false&fcsContent=true&pbMode=nor mal 20