2. Mythology 101 According to Goddess Ruxton

3. First, there was…

4. CHAOS = A DARK NOTHINGNESS! MOTHER EARTH EMERGED SHE FORMED THE WORLD AND HAD A INTERESTING WAY OF DOING IT …

5. MOTHER EARTH PRODUCED A SON NAMED URANUS URANUS WAS THE SKY THINGS WERE GOOD AND THEN … THEY HAD KIDS TOGETHER!!! APPARENTLY THE GREEKS WEREN’T BOTHERED BY THIS!

6. RAIN FELL FROM THE SKY AND PLANTS GREW …

7. AND ANIMALS APPEARED FROM THE RIVERS AND THE SEAS …

8. NEXT, MANY STRANGELY SHAPED MONSTERS AND GIANTS WERE BORN …

9. AMONG THESE WERE THE CYCLOPES!

10. BUT URANUS WAS A JERK AND TREATED THE CYCLOPES BADLY! HE BANISHED THEM TO THE “UNDERWORLD”!

11. LATER SOME HUMAN-SHAPED TITANS/GIANTS WERE BORN … NO – NOT THOSE TITANS!!! REALLY BIG MONSTER-LIKE FOLK!

12. THESE TITANS BECAME THE FIRST GODS AND GODDESSES!

13. BUT MOTHER NATURE WAS NOT A HAPPY CAMPER … SHE WAS STILL BITTER FROM THE BANISHING SHE ENCOURAGED THE TITANS, LED BY CRONOS, TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

14. ALL “UNDERWORLD” BROKE LOOSE! CRONOS KILLED URANUS WITH A SICKLE! HE TOOK OVER ALL POWER!

15. AS URANUS FELL … THE WORLD CHANGED! THREE DROPS OF URANUS FELL AND FORMED ERINYES (a.k.a. FURIES) THESE WERE SPIRITS OF REVENGE! THEY HOUNDED MURDERERS – ESPECIALLY THOSE THAT KILLED A RELATIVE!

16. YET ANOTHER DROP FELL INTO THE SEA AND … APHRODITE WAS BORN! (THE GODDESS OF BEAUTY)

17. CRONOS THEN MARRIED HIS SISTER AND THEY HAD FIVE KIDS BUT CRONOS WAS TOLD THAT ONE OF HIS KIDS WOULD LATER KILL HIM SO …

18. HE SWALLOWED EACH ONE AS IT WAS BORN!!!

19. MOTHER NATURE DECIDED SHE HAD TO SAVE HER SIXTH CHILD TRICKED CRONOS INTO SWALLOWING A STONE WRAPPED IN BABY CLOTHES THE 6 TH CHILD (ZEUS) WAS HIDDEN AND SPARED!

20. WHEN ZEUS GOT OLDER … WAS ON HIS MIND!

21. ZEUS POISONED CRONOS! HE RETURNED HOME IN DISGUISE SLIPPED A POTION INTO HIS DRINK AND WATCHED HIM CHOKE!

22. SUDDENLY, SOMETHING WEIRD HAPPENED … ALL OF THE KIDS CRONOS SWALLOWED … CAME OUT!!! HESTIA, DEMETER, HERA, HADES & POSEIDON WERE BACK!

23. AS A RESULT, A BIG BATTLE HAPPENED AND IT WAS … ZEUS & COMPANY CRONOS & MOST OF THE TITANS

24. WHEN THE FIGHT WAS OVER ZEUS WAS VICTORIOUS! ZEUS BANISHED ALL THE TITANS AND … TO PROVE A POINT, MADE ATLAS, A TITAN, HOLD UP THE HEAVENS FOR EVERMORE!

25. NEW JOBS WERE FORMED: ZEUS POSEIDON HADES/PLUTO

26. MOUNT OLYMPUS BECAME HOME FOR THE GODS … ACTUAL MOUNTAIN IN GREECE VERY REMOTE & HIGH SO ANCIENT GREEKS BELIEVED IT WAS HOME OF GODS TRANSFORMATION TO IMAGINARY PLACE ABOVE EARTH

27. AND THEN THERE WERE WEDDING BELLS… ZEUS MARRIED HERA (HIS SISTER!) BECAME KING & QUEEN LIVED ATOP MOUNT OLYMPUS

28. EARTH & THE GODS/GODDESSES HUMANS INHABITED THE EARTH GODS FREQENTED TO REWARD OR PUNISH MYTHS SOMETIMES = OCCASIONAL LOVE AFFAIRS w/HUMANS

29. AND NOW … YOU ARE STUCK STUDYING MYTHOLOGY!!! THANK YOU GREEK ANCESTORS!