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Public Health: Sexual Health Program. Friendships in Middle School Dating and Relationships 2012.

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Presentation on theme: "Public Health: Sexual Health Program. Friendships in Middle School Dating and Relationships 2012."— Presentation transcript:

1 Public Health: Sexual Health Program

2 Friendships in Middle School Dating and Relationships 2012

3 Dating and Relationships You’re dating When You’re dating When You plan and then share time with one person or a group of people You plan and then share time with one person or a group of people You share informal events- such as a lunch date, a movie or a dance You share informal events- such as a lunch date, a movie or a dance You spend time together in a casual setting.ie.. At a friend’s house. You spend time together in a casual setting.ie.. At a friend’s house. You’re in a relationship When… You’re in a relationship When… You share a unique closeness or intimacy with one special person in your life You share a unique closeness or intimacy with one special person in your life You’re seeing one person on a regular basis or choosing to be identified as being with this one person. You’re seeing one person on a regular basis or choosing to be identified as being with this one person. You refer to this person as you “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” You refer to this person as you “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”

4 I want to Date? Because it’s fun Because it’s fun Because it’s exciting Because it’s exciting Because it’s the thing to do Because it’s the thing to do For the closeness to another person For the closeness to another person For something to do For something to do Someone who’s really good looking Someone who’s really good looking To be popular To be popular Someone my parents approve of Someone my parents approve of Someone my friends approve of Someone my friends approve of To meet and make more friends. To meet and make more friends.

5 Your attitude about dating Looks are important Looks are important It’s okay for girls to ask guys out It’s okay for girls to ask guys out If someone asks you out, he or she should cover the cost If someone asks you out, he or she should cover the cost Guys talk more about their dates with their friends that girls do Guys talk more about their dates with their friends that girls do You can learn a lot about relationships from dating different people You can learn a lot about relationships from dating different people Double-dating is better than going out alone as a couple Double-dating is better than going out alone as a couple It’s okay to not want to date at all It’s okay to not want to date at all Dating can be confusing Dating can be confusing Breaking up is the most difficult part of dating Breaking up is the most difficult part of dating It would be okay for my friends to set me up on a date It would be okay for my friends to set me up on a date

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7 Healthy Relationships You know, like, and respect each other You know, like, and respect each other You trust each other You trust each other You’re there for one another You’re there for one another You feel good when You feel good when you’re together you’re together You can talk You can talk about anything about anything You encourage each You encourage eachother

8 Unhealthy Relationships Your friend constantly criticizes you and puts you down Your friend constantly criticizes you and puts you down Your friend is jealous and controlling Your friend is jealous and controlling You never know where you stand You never know where you stand You feel pressured to do things you don’t want to do You feel pressured to do things you don’t want to do Pressure to take sides Pressure to take sides

9 Time for a Test: Healthy or Unhealthy Healthy Healthy Unhealthy Unhealthy Healthy Healthy Unhealthy Unhealthy Healthy Healthy Accept each other as you are Accept each other as you are Moody, tired Moody, tired Always promise to change Always promise to change Fight often but cannot stand to be apart Fight often but cannot stand to be apart Each partner can be alone Each partner can be alone Clingy, jealous, always want to be with the other person Clingy, jealous, always want to be with the other person May grow very slowly from friendship May grow very slowly from friendship

10 Facing the Reality of Dating Violence Dating violence is…  Any intentional physical, emotional or sexual attack on one partner by the other in a dating relationship  Involves an abuse of power

11 Types of Abuse Experienced in Dating Violence Physical Abuse Physical Abuse –Using physical force to gain power or control Verbal Abuse Verbal Abuse –Language used to control or insult another Emotional Abuse Emotional Abuse –Belittling, threatening, terrorizing –Often downplayed, subtle Sexual Abuse Sexual Abuse – Sexual activity without permission

12 Some Abuse is Hard to Recognize Emotional abuse Putdowns, name calling, mind games, humiliation, guilt trips Intimidation Creating fear in your partner with looks, actions, and gestures, breaking things, destroying property Threats Making threats to cause physical harm, threatening to leave the relationship Threatening to commit suicide Isolation Controlling what your partner does, who they see and talk to, using jealousy as an excuse

13 Cycle of Abuse Honeymoon Phase (Apologies, Promises Blaming, Gifts) Tension Builds (Anger, Criticism, Yelling, Swearing) Explosion/Fight (Attacks and Threats Physical, Emotional, Or Sexual)

14 Communication: Essential to Healthy Relationships The key to healthy relationships is communication The key to healthy relationships is communication Recognizing poor communication and learning helpful communication techniques will improve dating relationships and other relationships Recognizing poor communication and learning helpful communication techniques will improve dating relationships and other relationships

15 3 Different Communication Techniques Assertive AggressivePassive

16 Aggressive Communication Often intended to hurt another person physically, emotional or psychologically Often intended to hurt another person physically, emotional or psychologically Attempt to gain power or control over another person Attempt to gain power or control over another person Emotions expressed in a hurtful or threatening way Emotions expressed in a hurtful or threatening way May include hitting, yelling, threatening or put downs May include hitting, yelling, threatening or put downs

17 Passive Communication When a person holds in feelings When a person holds in feelings like anger, hurt or frustration Deal with negative emotions by not speaking to the person, holding a grudge Deal with negative emotions by not speaking to the person, holding a grudge Deny feelings, or refuse to deal with feelings due to fear Deny feelings, or refuse to deal with feelings due to fear

18 Assertive Communication Clearly speaking your needs, wants and rights in your own words Clearly speaking your needs, wants and rights in your own words Shows confidence and self-knowledge through good eye contact, a clear firm voice, and good posture Shows confidence and self-knowledge through good eye contact, a clear firm voice, and good posture Respectful of others Respectful of others

19 Assertive Does NOT = Rude Being assertive is different from being angry or rude Being assertive is different from being angry or rude It is simply being confident and knowledgeable about your rights and preferences It is simply being confident and knowledgeable about your rights and preferences It is knowing yourself, what you want and asking for it in an effective way It is knowing yourself, what you want and asking for it in an effective way

20 Why Assertive Communication is Important in a Dating Relationship? To communicate your feelings and needs to your partner in a positive way To communicate your feelings and needs to your partner in a positive way To express your feelings so your partner will understand To express your feelings so your partner will understand To establish a safe and To establish a safe and comfortable relationship with your partner

21 S.H.A.R.E. Qualities of Healthy Relationships Safety Safety Honesty Honesty Acceptance Acceptance Respect Respect Enjoyment Enjoyment Empowerment

22 Creating Healthy Relationships: A How to Guide Know yourself Love yourself before starting a relationship Take time to get to know your partner Express your feelings openly and truthfully Maintain the freedom to be yourself Be respectful Be willing to trust and be trustworthy Negotiate with each other on areas of disagreement

23 Bottom Line In a healthy relationship you feel good about yourself. In a healthy relationship you feel good about yourself.

24 Tips for feeling good about you… Be AWARE of the Media Be AWARE of the Media HAVE FUN- sports/teams/hobbies/music/read/friends HAVE FUN- sports/teams/hobbies/music/read/friends Choose healthy foods to eat Choose healthy foods to eat Exercise every day Exercise every day Feel good about how you look Feel good about how you look Happy people come in all shapes and sizes Happy people come in all shapes and sizes RESPECT yourself RESPECT yourself

25 Be True to You!! Eat well Eat well Exercise Exercise Get lots of sleep Get lots of sleep Surround yourself with people who make YOU feel good about yourself! Surround yourself with people who make YOU feel good about yourself! Make your own decisions about sex! Make your own decisions about sex!

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