1. Dealing with Conflict An opportunity to act

2. What is your definition of conflict? 1.Emotional and intellectual arousal we feel in the face of discrepancy 2.Process in which 1 or both sides consciously interfere in a goal. 3.Painful tension set up by a clash between opposed and contradictory impulses in an individual

3. Managing Conflict n Awareness: Why is this happening? n Acceptance: Yes, it is really happening. n Analysis: What hill do I wish to die on? n Action: Bottom line: we can agree to disagree agreeably.

4. Avoidance is really unChristian n We deny our values: what may be at stake is principle; n We may let it escalate: it takes on a life of its own; n We may deny our care for the other: save face at any cost.

5. Sources of Conflict n Rights n Needs n Interests n Desires n Values

6. Options for Conflict (Covey) n Win/lose n Lose/win n Lose/lose n Win/win n The question to ask is: how critical is the issue? How important is the relationship?

7. Strategies n Physical: get a positive emotion: reconciliation, not vindictiveness n Cognitive: Take another look n Rehearse: Prepare for the next conversation n Make up your mind.

8. We usually have two responses: n Fight n Flight